Tiiiiierd. I usualy wake up at 10, i woke up at 7:30 because im leaving a quarter after 10 or 11 lmao
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Upset and all out of hope. I wanted to go swimming and such to get my mind of of things, but I never picked up the motivation to do so. I hate doing things alone and it's hard to find joy or satisfaction in doing things by myself. I asked a few people if they wanted to join, but unsurprisingly no one wanted to. I was able to talk to my friend back home for about 2 hours. It was really nice, but once he left, it made me feel worse, sad that I couldn't be with him. He's been frustrated lately with the amount of work and school he's been having to go through and I felt useless. We spent a good hour talking about some of the things we've done, bringing up old jokes and old memories. He was upset still that I'm not able to come home this christmas, i shouldnt have made plans. Now I'm just sitting here, no idea what I'm going to do now. Prolly going to stop by the store, get some candy and ice cream and watch tv. I'm a comfort eater...lol
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Maybe it's too early to say this, but I'm in love!! I had the most amazing evening with the most amazing guy last night and it didn't even involve sex!!! We went out to dinner and then window shopping (just looking at things we wanted to buy for anyone who may not know what that is) and then we got ice cream and sat by an open fire and talked, and then he leaned in and kissed me!!! Aww...it was like heaven on earth!!
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Sad, sad and hungry. Not much went on today, so I got nothing to say.
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I am walking on cloud nine this morning! Just found out I'm going to get to have Thanksgiving supper with my boyfriend and his family!! I can't wait!!
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I'm hoping thanksgiving will lift my spirits...cause as of today..i'm still in a haze of just self-loathing.....I know several of my posts of late have been basically...this....but that's how I am feeling.
Mick
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