Just heading off to work for the night and I'm doing okay. Not happy and not sad, just okay. Monday work is always rather blah.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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Good, anxious (in a good way), happy, excited, looking forward and loving what I see.
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Dan1980 Wrote:In a bad mood.  so Fed up.
Me too, Dan, me too. :frown:
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in that kind of mood where only calming Thai tunes are acceptable.
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Still clinging on to my depressed stage. Thoughts were consuming my attention today after having one of those "I wish it were true" dreams last night.
The dream's main plot was pretty funny and weird; I had gone to the bookstore in some mall with my friend because we were looking for a book too cure this unknown ailment I had. I kept taking these pills so that I didn't die and I was running out of pills. My friend wanted me to eat this steak he kept carrying around saying that it will cure me, but for some reason I refused, saying it wouldn't help at all.
It was a pretty "normal" dream. The thing that got me was that my friend was gay in this dream. In the bookstore, I was able to come up behind him and hold him, my arms around his waist as he looked over the bookshelf. While in the bookstore we ran into some people we knew, at first,, he hugged everyone, laughing for some odd reason, came back to me, and just held onto me while we talked to our friends about the steak (lol the steak kept randomly popping up throughout the dream). That was pretty much the last image of the dream I remember, him hugging me while we talked to these people who, in real life, are his friends. They smiled wide and stared at us. We did all the talking.
Anywho, that feeling hit me. It felt so real. He felt so warm, I could feel the small details in his body, his hipbones, the up and down of his chest when he breathed, his fingers grabbing my shirt, his arms squeezing me tight. I carried that feeling all day. It made me sad.
I just realized how long and unimportant this post was. lol. sorry 
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Hang in there Matty. I'd hug you if you were closer. 
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I talked some more to the coworker I have a crush on. We hadn't talked since I asked him out on Friday. He's still not gay, (boo!) but I sure did enjoy the conversation. He had a lot of questions, like when did I know I was gay, do my parents know and why don't I come out? It was quite fun and I've been on cloud nine since we talked.
On the down side, I know he can never return the feelings I have for him, but still it was good to actually talk one on one about being gay. He's a good guy.
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Yesterday I was feeling rather the shit after $48 235 went missing from work. I could see what was supposed to be there from my BOS (Back Office System) but our safe was recording a completely different figure.
Today I was feeling rather elated as finance cracked the safe and found $48 235 sitting unrecorded in a safe thats inside the safe due to a software error.
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Mrmatty77 Wrote:Still clinging on to my depressed stage. Thoughts were consuming my attention today after having one of those "I wish it were true" dreams last night.
The dream's main plot was pretty funny and weird; I had gone to the bookstore in some mall with my friend because we were looking for a book too cure this unknown ailment I had. I kept taking these pills so that I didn't die and I was running out of pills. My friend wanted me to eat this steak he kept carrying around saying that it will cure me, but for some reason I refused, saying it wouldn't help at all.
It was a pretty "normal" dream. The thing that got me was that my friend was gay in this dream. In the bookstore, I was able to come up behind him and hold him, my arms around his waist as he looked over the bookshelf. While in the bookstore we ran into some people we knew, at first,, he hugged everyone, laughing for some odd reason, came back to me, and just held onto me while we talked to our friends about the steak (lol the steak kept randomly popping up throughout the dream). That was pretty much the last image of the dream I remember, him hugging me while we talked to these people who, in real life, are his friends. They smiled wide and stared at us. We did all the talking.
Anywho, that feeling hit me. It felt so real. He felt so warm, I could feel the small details in his body, his hipbones, the up and down of his chest when he breathed, his fingers grabbing my shirt, his arms squeezing me tight. I carried that feeling all day. It made me sad.
I just realized how long and unimportant this post was. lol. sorry
Matty, have you spent any time anywhere else in Japan other than Okinawa?
How about making the trip to Kyoto in April for Sakura and sip some Sake on the banks of a river that has been embraced with the beautiful Sakura?
On the way through, stop of in Esaka in the north of Osaka and have a walk down the main mall and a look through Tokyu Hands and retrace some of my footsteps when I lived over there 
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