In the midst of all the negativity, all the inane bull shit I had to put up with this summer, the sacrifices that I had to make, the tears I secretly shed, the trials I had to face alone;
I'm so fucking happy that I woke up today actually rested, and feel like a weights been lifted.
I can finally put Music first again and that is all I ever wanted... I'm very happy today :hugs-and-kisses-smi
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
I feel like a loser, cause I still didn't find a job, i received even nice mail like "We liked your cv, attitude, interest in our company blahblah but...". And I'm not able to do something that I really dislike, I'm so pretentious but I'm trying to be flexible etc, but I know who I am and the consequences of my decisions...
So I have a problem, now If I don't find a job in few days I think I have no choice than come back to Italy... TO MY FAMILY.
I hate this idea...
And also was a crappy week, I received bad news from some friends, and I did nothing for Halloween/weekend etc cause I'm a little anxious now.
•
I think you are going to have to start thinking about things differently.
A job is a job so what is more important...taking a job you don't like or going back to a country you don't want to go back to?
Also, if you have any job, it is easier to find the job you want as a lot of people prefer not to employ people who are unemployed, that's a harsh reality.
•
You're so right but I'm crazy... Uff.
And when I've got a job I'm not in the right mood to find another one, I try but then I stop, cause I already have it... I'm not looking for something 'wow' I need a normal job to survive, but I need to do something with a meaning, for me.
I already started to 'thinking different' more than once, but everytime I realized that I was lying to myself.
Why I don't want a career and a lot of money, uff... Would be easier than being a crazy horse.
•
Today was alright..
Realized that I drunk FB'ed my crush and left pretty funny stuff
on his wall. To which his reply was, "I love you'. [lol, fml, right?]
..and no we're talking..
haha. Hating on how someone can have such a control on how
you're feeling..
blah! haha xD
•
Right now... I feel nothing. Which is a good thing...
No pain, sickness, sadness... just like nothing haha
•
I had a great day, I was manning a stall at the spring festival nearby for my youth board.
I never knew how wonderful Sandringham road is. Oh my god there were all the South Asian cuisines. There was street food everywhere, it was like walking in Mumbai. I had masala dosa for lunch.
Oh my god. That was actually the most delicious thing I've had this year. I can't believe how tasty that was. I need to go there more often, I didn't know that there was a whole patch of good desi restaurants down there.
•
