..gonna get off this place and my social networking sites for
either a few weeks to a month..
..gonna get back into reading and prob more into my other hobbies..
Feeling all kinds of low and all my friends are.. well I don't know..
Later GS..
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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sweaty...
I did heaps of exercise.
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UFF I cannot sleep as usual! I'm nervous, i don't wanna waste tomorrow morning or afternoon sleeping! I have a lot of things to do!
Gosh in these weeks I'm the pain in the ass of GS, sorry babes and guys!
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apparently (on facey my brother got married)
If so he's a right ass hole.
I'm a bit upset ova this. Probz just felling this way cos mum is felling this way :S
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shitballs fuckbitnuggets shittyshitty bang bang!!!
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I'm not doing so hot. I take an acting class and a few weeks ago my teacher made a point to tell me that because my teeth are so crooked, I'll never be able to be a proper stage actor. That really bummed me out cause I hate my smile. I know it's awful, I don't need to be reminded. But I was just getting over it when today, after I asked to be excused from an exercise because I felt embarrassed about doing it, he told me he wanted to speak to me privately.
He asked why I refused the exercise and I told him it made me uncomfortable and that I've recently realized that performing/acting just isn't what I want to do. Then for some reason, he decides to spend 5 minutes telling me how ugly I am, picking out all my physical flaws/insecurities (my weight, my teeth, my face in general, etc) and that if I want to be an actor I need to accept it so that I can focus on roles that call for that kind of actor.
I told him that I once played a romantic lead in a community theater show and he said "That's the last romantic lead you'll ever play. You're not Hal (the character I played), you're more like Hal's lab assistant." That's what he said verbatim. Mind you, this is all AFTER I told him I'm not interested in acting anymore.
Those aren't nice things to hear. I'll be honest, after that I found an empty stairwell and cried like a 16 year old girl being stood up for prom. It was gross. Now I'm so full of residual anger and depression I can't even find the will to go to class. I feel humiliated. I feel embarrassed that I actually try to pick out nice clothes or get a nice haircut cause what the fuck does it matter? I really really really don't want to be around people right now, but I have no choice. Fuck this day.
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