Much better as of 30 min ago when someone got back in touch with me ^.^
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I survived dinner with family....
survived dreary xmas...I'll be fine I guess
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Xmas would never be my favourite day, for one or another reason.
Sad day.
Today was supposed to be better than usual, cause luckily I'm alone at home, but I woke up sick LOL and feeling lonely (From that side, not the one of the chaotic family etc) but switched on skype for my mom etc, cause they wanted to see me. I faked, but I wasn't happy to see all of them. The kids, so cute, but surrounded with a ridiculous amount of toys and objects, the auntie with too much jewels etc. :-( Everything fake and materialistic.
I was smiling all the time but feeling sad.
So I'm spending the rest of the day doing normal things, laundry etc, and now I started doing the worst thing of the day: Booking the damn flight to go back.
And all of these things put me back about feeling lonely and my precarious situation, the impossibility of finding a partner etc. With a special person near me, now, everything would be going different. I'm more than sure.
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kind of blue, but it'll pass, Christmas/Holidays is almost over..
been stuck home though cause everything is pretty much closed.
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F***ing hate the holidays... I'm going to soon be in a room with my mom and sister that are at each others throats now. They will be all fake happy and then soon that will disappear and I'll be in the middle of the drama...
Good thing I have booze to numb myself. I'd rather bang my head against a wall then be around them fighting.
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Honestly... Terrible...
Been in a better place for the past month or so but today for one reason or another I've fallen down and just feel like I don't belong anywhere in this world. And to top it all off I've recently started suffering migraines and got a big one starting to kick in...
Really do hate Christmas.
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I feel like shit and angry just because a colleague of mine has just un-liked a comment I posted on FB. I know I'm overreacting but things are not so great in our group (e.g. dumb bitches ganging up on me) and this is not a good sign.
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bless Mr L , just love how gay guys chat ,, I have no one I could call a bitch lol, take a back seat for a while ML,, just let the dust settle mate if that's poss - I really need gay mates,, id be quality with what ive learnt here
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