How are you today?

[mbennet35]

About to pass out from exhaustion

[Miles]

Fuck everything this is all bullshit

[justbry87]

It's been an interesting day~

but good all in all

[sillyboy86]

Had a good day but obviously few minutes ago my Macbook fell from the table, and now is like... It's gone.
So, now... AAAARGH!!!
And also I'm not in the best period to pay for the repairs...

[Bluelight]

Good, zen at the moment.

[mbennet35]

Depressed. Sad. Lonely. Angry. Sick.

[Dan1980]

Depressed. Sad. Lonely. Angry. Sick.

I am sorry to hear that.

[Wade]

So, I have an anecdote about my day:

My school has a great gym. Really expensive looking, beautiful... a pool, ping pong tables, and inside track, etc. And I, being a student, get to use it for free (well, not completely free. My membership fee is tied into tuition), but I never have in the two years I've been here. I tried once, but I got intimidated by all the muscley frat boys that live there. I've been exercising quite a bit on my own, but I spend so much time on campus, it's a shame I don't use the facilities.

But today I decided to go for it. I'm very self conscious about my weight (haven't worn a t-shirt in public since I was 11) and VERY self conscious about being caught exercising. I, like many people who spent their childhood overweight/obese, have accrued an impressive list of bad memories from high school gym class/locker room. Everyone always says "no one pays attention to anyone else at the gym!" After all, I'm not 15 anymore, so I decided to get over myself and just go.

After struggling through a near panic attack in the locker room while becoming very confused about how to get a damn locker open, I remembered I'm an adult, not a two year old, and decided not to throw a fit and storm out. I stuck it out, asked for help at the front desk, and got a locker. Then I went to the main floor (in a white T-Shirt!!!!) and found a nice secluded area with a treadmill and started my run.

Everything was going pretty smoothly. No one was laughing at me or making fun of me (an irrational fear, I know... I know) and no one was paying any attention to me whatsoever! Fantastic!

But it turned out, that the very hour I chose to be there was the very hour that some high school class decided it would be a good time to take a field trip and tour the gym. I panicked. And of course... the adult leader of the group decided to stop right in front of me and talk to the class about the gym.

So there I was, having avoided the gym or wearing a t-shirt for ten years because of embarrassing adolescent ridicule, on a treadmill in a t-shirt surrounded by fifteen year olds. And you know what????

... It wasn't that big a deal. I actually started laughing at the absurdity of the situation. I think I'll go again tomorrow.

[mbennet35]

So, I have an anecdote about my day:

My school has a great gym. Really expensive looking, beautiful... a pool, ping pong tables, and inside track, etc. And I, being a student, get to use it for free (well, not completely free. My membership fee is tied into tuition), but I never have in the two years I've been here. I tried once, but I got intimidated by all the muscley frat boys that live there. I've been exercising quite a bit on my own, but I spend so much time on campus, it's a shame I don't use the facilities.

But today I decided to go for it. I'm very self conscious about my weight (haven't worn a t-shirt in public since I was 11) and VERY self conscious about being caught exercising. I, like many people who spent their childhood overweight/obese, have accrued an impressive list of bad memories from high school gym class/locker room. Everyone always says "no one pays attention to anyone else at the gym!" After all, I'm not 15 anymore, so I decided to get over myself and just go.

After struggling through a near panic attack in the locker room while becoming very confused about how to get a damn locker open, I remembered I'm an adult, not a two year old, and decided not to throw a fit and storm out. I stuck it out, asked for help at the front desk, and got a locker. Then I went to the main floor (in a white T-Shirt!!!!) and found a nice secluded area with a treadmill and started my run.

Everything was going pretty smoothly. No one was laughing at me or making fun of me (an irrational fear, I know... I know) and no one was paying any attention to me whatsoever! Fantastic!

But it turned out, that the very hour I chose to be there was the very hour that some high school class decided it would be a good time to take a field trip and tour the gym. I panicked. And of course... the adult leader of the group decided to stop right in front of me and talk to the class about the gym.

So there I was, having avoided the gym or wearing a t-shirt for ten years because of embarrassing adolescent ridicule, on a treadmill in a t-shirt surrounded by fifteen year olds. And you know what????

... It wasn't that big a deal. I actually started laughing at the absurdity of the situation. I think I'll go again tomorrow.

I've seen pics of you. You are super sexy wade

[Bravo]

Well, I did go to my ex's place after she called me. And my friend texted me inviting me over like always while I was with her. Damn.

I did go to his place, and even though he seemed a bit like he was being too careful with his words, it felt like nothing had changed, like he said. But I have the feeling we won't be going any further than good friends because even though I fell in love with him I don't think it's worth it to try to convince him he should forget what his psychologist said and embrace it if he is indeed gay. I kept the friendship like I wanted, and I should be happy about it and not push it.