I'm feeling like a shitty friend
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My brother is in the hospital, has something wrong with his kidneys. I stayed in the hospital with him for about 10 hours yesterday, got home around midnight and had class in the morning. Got out around noon and went back to the hospital. On the way out of the hospital, I saw my old friend's widow. I havn't seen her in awhile but then I felt sad because she lost the love of her life. Then I drove home thinking about life and the future. I'm probably going to take a nap and go back to the hospital to see how my brother is doing.
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I have the recurrent thought these week of crawling to a hole somewhere and tell the world to go f*ck itself.
Alas, I need the money work gives me *shrugs*
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I'm feeling really nostalgic and mystical and shit.
Like I was sitting out on one of the cliffs over looking the ocean, looking out at the nothingness that surrounds us and was like
What it must've been like for my Ancestors before me, to have to live on an isolated island, and survive and shit. And what the annual Hurricanes must've been like for them and how they paved the way to where we are today.
I know how they lived, but I wonder on a personal level of how they lived.
No cars or electricity or t.v.
And this was all only 50 or so years ago. Because my nana said T.v was a special luxury and that if someone in the neighbor hood had one, they'd gather round once a night to watch a black and white movie.
And that Cars were rarely ever driven.
Only in my lifetime have we really advanced to a "first world" country and yet I can't help but feel we're still back "in the days". Especially when I look at my island and see what they must've seen and walked the same places my progenitors have walked.
And though my links spread to Jamaica and Trinidad and Italy and such, I was born and raised here and for that I feel really proud.
I'm exploding with pride and nostalgic fucking happiness omfg :')
#Emotional Bitch over Here
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