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Aquarius Wrote:I've been good for a while, but now I'm sad again
Little things can make me sad these days... I so easily get reminded that I'm not like everyone else.. that I'm not like anyone else, and it makes me feel alone in the whole wide world with the (combination of) issues I deal with. My life is just too different and it makes me lonely and sad.
Well, not for the same reasons, of course, but this is historically how I've felt for most of my life. Always different, always the oddball, always the kid who doesn't do the same as the rest.
I have been told, especially in this place, that this is not a bad thing. It shouldn't be a bad thing that you are different. So, maybe it's time (I know, this is hard) to think about it from another perspective. What is the good side of being different?
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be yourself even if you arent cool by most peoples standards.. You may have less friends but you will have self respect. That is how i feel about it.
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Today was an ok day... I did go on another date...it was nice... Was sort of hoping for something little different but not complaining, glad I got to spend some time with him... But I definitely would have enjoyed watching a movie that we probably wouldn't pay a hole lot of attention to talking and snuggling through the whole thing. I just have to be more patient... and damn I've never been good at being patient lol
Otherwise, just tired... Was quite a day at work...everything from password resets, have people wanting to email 8,000+ people at once, continuing to write programs, reports, and preparing to do a clone of our production system... Can't complain, I guess as long as I keep the boss happy that's all that matters... I think he's a bit stoked about the program, I guess perhaps he wasn't sure I would deliver that sort of thing....and I know a programmer would come behind me and say the code is crap...but the way I look at it...it runs and does what it is intended to do and will have a pretty decent interface when I'm finished with it.
"I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime"
Check out my stuff!
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Insertnamehere Wrote:I have been told, especially in this place, that this is not a bad thing. It shouldn't be a bad thing that you are different. So, maybe it's time (I know, this is hard) to think about it from another perspective. What is the good side of being different?
I don't know. Everything that makes me different is a "lack of" something. Lack of normal puberty, lack of normal bringing up, lack of work experience, lack of sex experience. Not sure how a "lack" can enrich a community or a partner. I guess I'm just too different to find my place in society. I don't know what's the good side of me being different really.
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axle2152 Wrote:Otherwise, just tired... Was quite a day at work...everything from password resets, have people wanting to email 8,000+ people at once, continuing to write programs, reports, and preparing to do a clone of our production system... Can't complain, I guess as long as I keep the boss happy that's all that matters... I think he's a bit stoked about the program, I guess perhaps he wasn't sure I would deliver that sort of thing....and I know a programmer would come behind me and say the code is crap...but the way I look at it...it runs and does what it is intended to do and will have a pretty decent interface when I'm finished with it.
Ah I miss programming. Since I didn't even major in IT, interning as a software developer wasn't as easy as I hope. I got told that quite a number of time, but my code worked and it's not like they're offering to come up with a different code, so whatever, haha. Maybe there's a better way to reduce the memory used, but I have no idea how to measure that.
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On the other hand, I went out today to get a copy of Men's Health and they said that this month issue hasn't arrived yet, lol. Got myself a cute planner book instead ~
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AlfredM Wrote:Ah I miss programming. Since I didn't even major in IT, interning as a software developer wasn't as easy as I hope. I got told that quite a number of time, but my code worked and it's not like they're offering to come up with a different code, so whatever, haha. Maybe there's a better way to reduce the memory used, but I have no idea how to measure that.
Basically what it comes down to is how the code gets compiled...certain things (mistakes) create a lot of overhead for the computer to do. While the stuff I'm doing or you would do probably wouldn't make any difference if you're working on software for a fortune 500 company, everything, the structure all can make a big difference.
But I'm fine with my crappy coding. I haven't had really any classes on it... I mean I have but they were very elementary, even compared to the soft of stuff I'm working on.
"I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime"
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AlfredM Wrote:On the other hand, I went out today to get a copy of Men's Health and they said that this month issue hasn't arrived yet, lol. Got myself a cute planner book instead ~
It sold out? I'm already that famous? :confused:
I bought 5 Men's Health magazines to help the Jan issue sells out.
Kidding.
But I did buy 5 because I have no shame.
Last Monday I went to see a doctor as I thought my face has been bitten by an insect.
Apparently it wasn't due to an insect. I was infected with Varcella-Zoster virus or generally known as shingles.
Shingles occurs when the dormant chickenpox virus (Varicella-Zoster) is reactivated in your nerve tissues. Unfortunately I got it right on my face, head and also around my left eyelid. From what i understood, it happens when your immune system went off or when you are too stressful.
My doc ordered me to take this matter seriously to avoid blindness on my left eye since it infects my left eye and face. So I have been ordered to stay home and not go to work for this one whole week.
I've been taking medicine given by the doctor. Most blisters have dried up. Swollen left eye is recovering and begin to look normal again. But I'm suddenly having a headache.
I'll be seeing the doctor again tomorrow for another check up.
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RELIEVED I managed to get muddy footprints out of the rug downstairs (and dried) before my housemate gets home, otherwise I'd be in trouble :/
Gossip is the Devil’s telephone; best just to hang up.
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Evey automobile and home should have a self destruct button for just in case.
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