Pensive I suppose.
I'm layed out on the floor, legs and arms splayed out, like a underpaid back alley street walker, minus the smudged makeup;
Just mentally preparing for the first day at this new job tomorrow and what to make for dinner in a hour or so
My brain has been drained mentally, cause I think I studied too much, and now it needs some R & R and the sad part is I already live on a Tropical Island
How do we de-stress you wonder?
Lots of Chocolate.... Choooocolaaaate♡♪
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matty7 Wrote:finished shifts so treating myself to a couple of beers while I learn fun guitar riffs for fun - just learnt 3 by Alice Cooper inc Poison which has a nice guitar intro , also Jack and Diane by John Cougar Mellencamp - I remember it from when I was young , its lovely on acoustic guitar , also ran learnt Hurt by NiN and covered by Johnny Cash from a YouTube guy - simple song but very effective
5 songs in an hour is not bad so far
Hope you had a good time, and awesome songs. Poison by Alice Cooper is a good one. ^^ Myself, tired but good.
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Seeing as this site wont let me self delete i may as well use it to vent my thoughts, its not like i can impress anyone anyway. Tired of life, tired of work, no energy to do anything. Recently seen two things that have really upset me and noticed how others move on having hurt me and not given a damn, i am in the same trapped situation i have been for years and i can not seem to change or move on or get anywhere, i really feel like a pathetic low piece of crap that does not deserve anyone or anything. I am so lonely i cannot even begin to explain, someone suggested i try a dating app and yet again all people seem to do is ignore me i mean what more can i fucking do, im 26 and so fucking pathetic and lonely and cant seem to meet people for anything and when i have in the past it as failed straight away. What is the point in going on knowing i cant and things will not change. Its all just pointless, im not enjoying anything and cant change. Im sick of people giving me be positive advice, thats bullshit and does not work, everything i have tried as failed either that of people are making fun of me on purpose. Really fed up. Why i have wrote this i do not know but i really would like the delete my account selection to actually work!
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thought id post thx on your post ... Dennis . you know im not your enemy cos were mates - get your ass to the doctors for some new medication - its not a miracle solution but it will help , i see your posts mate and you have some great days , and other days your total opposite - i like the Dennis that highlights the places you have been , least i get to learn stuff
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I aologize for the language, but yesterday and today were literally hell. If it wasn't the heart problem's it was my brother tripping over my instrument cable messing up my new amp head that didn't end well which made the way i was feeling worse and i went back to smoking. According to my abusive father I'm a loser who can't play, and i don't need it anyway. I wonder how much worse thing's can get, and the future is uncertain. Sorry to ramble.
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Just feeling fine drinking some wine and wasting my time.
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Back from Comic Con.
Don't feel like I did enough.
Ah well, I'll be more proactive next time.
Other than that, feeling good. mile:
Silly Sarcastic So-and-so
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matty7 Wrote:thought id post thx on your post ... Dennis . you know im not your enemy cos were mates - get your ass to the doctors for some new medication - its not a miracle solution but it will help , i see your posts mate and you have some great days , and other days your total opposite - i like the Dennis that highlights the places you have been , least i get to learn stuff
Cheers for your words yet again i do appreciate them, i think i need to concentrate on me and forget others who have hurt me how ever that situation came about. Work is stressing me but i am getting advice on my main career choice by a referral from somebody. Also some of the customers i like and i know like me, mainly the older men who i can somehow relate to have offer me advice and quite good advice for the upcoming threat i may be sacked.
Maybe it is best i stay here, i just always feel not wanted anywhere i go and sometimes for no reason but the fact my BPD causes it. I have been super hyped over the past 2 weeks but if i do some of my art work i may and should calm down and get me focused.
I cant used medication anyway so i have to do this myself (Y)
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[MENTION=23145]valkyrie4488[/MENTION]
Things can always get worse, but it doesn't mean they will. You are not some 5 year old who takes everything your father says to be the truth. You know better. You know your worth. We know your worth. Remember it.
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[MENTION=23118]starlight[/MENTION], why are you not able to use medication?
And what is this artwork? I think this is the first time I have seen mention of it?
I bid NO Trump!
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