marshlander Wrote:Congrats, matty 
I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself. I slipped in the snow in town this morning and have painfully sprained my knee and ankle. People can be so kind though. A family helped me up, hammered on the door of a nearby pub so I could go inside and sit in the warm, called the paramedics. A lovely young man arrived on his bicycle within ten minutes and gave me a thorough going over (so to speak  ) and arranged for a lift back to my car which was on the other side of the river. I'm rather pleased I didn't have any work this evening. I don't think I would be up to carrying heavy p.a. cabs at the moment. I'd better be okay by Monday.
Only thing is I think I have now become an elderly cliché. :redface:
Just so happens I  an elderly cliché .... oh, and he happens to be my man.... yay!  darling. Hope you are feeling less sore today.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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SrChulo Wrote:Sure. A little backstory. We like to talk about the differences between American and Spanish cultures. For example, I have always pointed out how brutally honest Spaniards can be. The other day we were talking about a friend of mine, and his comment was something like "Yea, he's very handsome in the face, but his body is terrible." Or something. I really don't like comments like that, I think they're rude and reflect poorly on whoever's saying them.
His response is that at least Spaniards are honest, and say what they feel instead of the American way of lying to someone's face and talking badly about them later. I think both scenarios are huge generalizations, even mine. But it is one thing I've noticed after living here for a while. People have seen Sex in the City or have been to Manhattan once, and they think they know Americans.
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I said "thank you for the apology, that sounds much better." and we left it like that. This morning I got another "i'm sorry" from him.
I'm afraid we are dealing with a man who is strongly catholic at heart, has the guilt complex strongly ingrained, but also knows how to get someone to ride on the guilt trip.
It is a cultural difference, probably. He may be honest but in the end, he is not really, because he says one thing but means another... a bit like women sometimes.
I really don't know how you can keep this relationship going, Chulo, but maybe it's a good thing that you are going back to the States to finish your studies? A break will be good for you both to reassess what you mean to each other. I keep thinking, after your stories, that he is trying to manipulate you, but it's working less and less, isn't it?
Here, have a
PA
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matty7 Wrote:im very happy = got some help with me been a bit hyper n now i just sat through a film at the cinema for the first time withought causing a fuss,,everyone i whent with were very impressed with me - not much i know but its so great to be a ble to do one thing at a time finally
Good for you Matty...  mile: mile: mile:
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princealbertofb Wrote:I'm afraid we are dealing with a man who is strongly catholic at heart, has the guilt complex strongly ingrained, but also knows how to get someone to ride on the guilt trip.
It is a cultural difference, probably. He may be honest but in the end, he is not really, because he says one thing but means another... a bit like women sometimes.
I really don't know how you can keep this relationship going, Chulo, but maybe it's a good thing that you are going back to the States to finish your studies? A break will be good for you both to reassess what you mean to each other. I keep thinking, after your stories, that he is trying to manipulate you, but it's working less and less, isn't it?
Here, have a
PA
Yea he is a total manipulator. And yes: it's working less and less. Right now I'm leaving it up to him if he wants to be with a person who doesn't take shit like that.
I've recently spoken with his ex, just lightly, about this. He said he knew one day I'd be coming to him with all of this, but he didn't want to stop me in the beginning because it wasn't his place to do so. This came as no shock to me, as I knew that's how he felt. He had subtly warned me back then. There are differences, of course--their personalities clash much more. But maybe that leaves me with a worse situation. Not directly clashing can lead me into a rut where he's able to manipulate with fewer consequences. His ex is a person that can be a bit blinded by love, but I know he got fed up after a while. They were together 3 years. We both know that parts of borja are very difficult to endure, and neither of us knows if he is truly happy or if he will ever be able to love someone as much as he does himself.
At this point, i'm indifferent about the fact that I'll be leaving him. I miss him so much when I'm away, but I think I'll be okay when I actually move from here. He knows I'm leaving too, so he must have accepted it by now. He called me today asking if I forgive him. I said yes. I was thinking today that this could all be just another ploy to make me forget about it. Who knows if he is really remorseful.
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If only it was funny, then it might be interesting, but I think your patience is wearing thin now...
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What do you mean he has the guilt complex strongly ingrained? Do you mean he feels guilty about many things?
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No, just that the Catholic church thrives on guilt and all that stuff, so probably he's atuned to all that and how it works, putting guilt where no guilt needs to be.
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Interesting place, here. Hmmm. I'm feeling pretty good, apart from being without a partner for a good while now. But work is good. Have a new painting coming out this week. Busy, busy, busy. Hey, up there, Jay. The reason you're getting that chest pain is because of the dehydration, more than likely. I lift a lot, power walk, run, you name it; and it happens when I get really dehydrated. Nothing like good ol' H2O, y'know!
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Like a bear with a sore head and a cough 
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Poor Sil... hope that clears up soon. Feed a cold and starve a fever they say... Have a nice soup, and refuel on liquids...
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