I severely need a rant, because keeping everything inside just isnt good at all. I've been ready for a relationship for about three years now, and I've tried everything. I've tried putting myself out there on online sites. I've tried actively searching for guys at school. I've tried the whole "it'll happen when you least expect it" approach. Recently, I just put myself out on a limb and started chatting with a guy who was from school...tonight we talked and he turned out to be straight. The only guys who seem to be into me are the ones I physically cannot bring myself to be attracted to. My friend who is a girl said there is nothing wrong with my personality or looks, she says I'm great on both counts, but I just can't seem to get a break of any sort. I'm tired of seeing gay and straight couples surrounding me every day. Even if I came out (even though I'm technically not 'in' the closet) completely, I don't think anything would change. After five years of this, I'm losing hope. The few attractive guys who have returned the feelings never end up being anything more than one night things, and I've resorted to sleeping with guys who I'm physically repelled by just to feel close to someone. And it just makes things worse. I don't need advice or 'it'll get better' sentiments, though they are appreciated...I just needed somewhere to rant. Finals week doesnt make anything better.
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This might sound strange Yosuke, but just be content by yourself. What I mean by that is that if you are happy being alone, then you won't worry about looking for someone. You'll be happier overall. Then if you find someone, you will be content with being with them and be happy too. Hopefully you can find the happiness you need.
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Yosuke Wrote:I severely need a rant, because keeping everything inside just isnt good at all. I've been ready for a relationship for about three years now, and I've tried everything. I've tried putting myself out there on online sites. I've tried actively searching for guys at school. I've tried the whole "it'll happen when you least expect it" approach. Recently, I just put myself out on a limb and started chatting with a guy who was from school...tonight we talked and he turned out to be straight. The only guys who seem to be into me are the ones I physically cannot bring myself to be attracted to. My friend who is a girl said there is nothing wrong with my personality or looks, she says I'm great on both counts, but I just can't seem to get a break of any sort. I'm tired of seeing gay and straight couples surrounding me every day. Even if I came out (even though I'm technically not 'in' the closet) completely, I don't think anything would change. After five years of this, I'm losing hope. The few attractive guys who have returned the feelings never end up being anything more than one night things, and I've resorted to sleeping with guys who I'm physically repelled by just to feel close to someone. And it just makes things worse. I don't need advice or 'it'll get better' sentiments, though they are appreciated...I just needed somewhere to rant. Finals week doesnt make anything better.
In that case, Yosuke, good luck with your exams.... 
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There is a guy in my math class who is super cute and manly ( blond hair, deep blue eyes, cowboy style =) ). It has been a whole semester but we never notice each other ( or I have never notice him ? ) until last week, we start giving each other sneaky eyes contact.
So today, he came to class late and walk straight to my spot, pretended like he could not find a better spot 
His name is Todd 
Oh well Todd, I just realize today is the last day of class for me (but not for you haha because I am smart enough to be excused from final  ). I may dream of some hot stuff about you tonight and get over it tomorrow morning. Next semester would be fun if we happen run to each other again =D
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My balcony door was covered in ice this morning, so I finally made the decision to turn on the heat... I was waiting as long as I could.
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posterpicture Wrote:There is a guy in my math class who is super cute and manly ( blond hair, deep blue eyes, cowboy style =) ). It has been a whole semester but we never notice each other ( or I have never notice him ? ) until last week, we start giving each other sneaky eyes contact.
So today, he came to class late and walk straight to my spot, pretended like he could not find a better spot
His name is Todd
Oh well Todd, I just realize today is the last day of class for me (but not for you haha because I am smart enough to be excused from final ). I may dream of some hot stuff about you tonight and get over it tomorrow morning. Next semester would be fun if we happen run to each other again =D
Update about this post. So I accidentally found Todd's facebook =)) and it turned out he was the jerk that argued with me over one of my friend's facebook ( about wikileak). But that was the week when we all had cartoon profile picture so we did not recognize each other.
Well, he is as straight as a stick, has a girl friendly, super conservative ( stress by stating on his facebook that " I feel uncomfortable to be around liberals ". Hum, the weird thing is why does he keep talking to me then, even if it 's 1 am over facebook Well, did I just turn a straight dude gay?
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This time of year always reminds me how anxious I am. I went to the mall determined to do my christmas shopping, I walked in and saw how busy it was, I turned around and walked back out.
I'll try to go on my lunch sometime this week when it won't be as busy.
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Ill today... but in a weird way, i have a bad fever and terrible headache but im so hungry and craving food. The thing is when I'm ill I'm very clumsy and get things wrong. I work in a shop and over charged someone by £50, the came back very cheesed off for a refund, and a chat with my manager who was very understanding of me being ill and said i could go home.
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mathew - if your ill then still try to eat and drink fluids...its a mith about starving a cold etc,, your body need energy to fight the illness and you get that through what u eat and drink, chicken soup does actualy help too as it contains something that helps with syptoms, i read that in mens health mag yesteday at work form an old issue
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