Texting (and texting, and texting, and...)

[rover330]

Hey, I wanted to bounce this around...

I'm 48, the guy I've been seeing for about a year is 40.

Maybe this is a generational thing, but when we spend time together, he is pretty much texting for about 1/4 of the time we spend together.

I'm not worried what he's texting, he's usually talking to his best friend.

What bothers me is, he becomes so absorbed in his Iphone, he really goes off into his own little world. I don't really feel like I'm in the room. He's texting, twittering, downloading music...

I like to think that I'm not that boring. There have been times I've actually gotten better luck communicating with him, I'll go to the computer and send him an e-mail or text him a message over the phone to get his attention.

Texting is not my primary means of communication with other human beings. Is there a need for vocal cords anymore? If I'm sitting at the dinner table, would I text someone across the table to please pass the corn?

Is this something I'm not understanding? I think if you're in a room with someone, and you're having a conversation with someone else over an electronic device that takes up all of your attention, number one your company is going to feel left out, and it's just plain rude.

Thoughts?

[Aeneas]

start by asking him if you need to be present during his texting frenzy when it happens. if he doesnt get the hint stand up and leave.


i once dated a guy who would take his phone out when we were out having dinner or at a bar to text away. i started playing tetris, angry birds with loud music so he'd know i was more interested in my phone's game than himself. he did get the hint and put his phone away right then and there and quickly came up with conversation topics.


you just need to educate this guy.

[rover330]

guess I should add, when I send him a text like, "what do you want for dinner" I'm sitting 5 feet away from him. he pays more attention to the text than he would if I physically asked him. to get his attention from the iphone I would almost have to walk up to him and physically tap him on the shoulder.

am I just old that I find this weird, or should he and I limit our interaction to bed and texting?

[rover330]

aeneas, one night I just got up and left (my own apartment) and spent the night in a hotel room, I told him when he wanted to talk to me and hang out, to give me a call. I think it made an impression.

another night, I just went up to the circuit breaker box and flipped off the main switch to the house. that got his attention as well.

I'm getting ready to break up with him I think, and this is a major reason. I hope he and his Iphone will be very happy together...

[Aeneas]

guess I should add, when I send him a text like, "what do you want for dinner" I'm sitting 5 feet away from him. he pays more attention to the text than he would if I physically asked him. to get his attention from the iphone I would almost have to walk up to him and physically tap him on the shoulder.

am I just old that I find this weird, or should he and I limit our interaction to bed and texting?

well you are doing it wrong.


you are just promoting his behaviour by texting him.


read my reply above. you just need to show him that it is not acceptable. i use sarcastic humour to convey my annoyance since i find it most effective; or mirror his behaviour so that he feels what you feel.



he has a bad habit thats all. many people are addicted to their phones nowadays - but that doesnt mean you have to find it acceptable. i know i don't. i think its disrespectful.

[Miles]

Not just a matter of age, if someone my age acted that way to me, I'd be just as annoyed. May be more common among young people but it's rude regardless and I've never understood how those little gadgets and silly amusements could be worth taking away from what precious little meaningful human interaction one might get.

[Udabar]

I make it a point to not have my phone out when I am on a date with someone. I have actually reached across the table before and taken someones phone out of their hands and laid it in the middle of the table. They then decided to get defensive and I told them how I felt and when they thought they had a leg to stand on I got up and left.

The worst thing someone can do when on a date is to pull ou thier phone and text. If it's that important, just say your going to the bathroom for crying out loud and go in there and do it. I was on a date a week ago and one of my friends kept calling my cell phone. I sent him a text that I was on a date and to not call me for the rest of the night. It stopped.

[dfiant]

It is a sign of the times I guess, some people adapt and others don't or resist the need to adapt.

There is no right or wrong when it comes to this, there is only what is right for you.

As with any relationship, if you are incompatible then there is no reason to carry on with the relationship.

Would I be annoyed if someone spent all their time on their mobile/Tablet? No
Would I spend all my time on a mobile/tablet? No

It wouldn't annoy me because I can simply get up and walk away and that would be the end of it. Each person is different and some people embrace technology a little too well...so be it

[Dreamer]

That sounds really bad, if it's gotten to the point to where you need to actually text or email him to get his attention... damn...

Time to put your foot down, and tell him to put his toys down, or you'll put the year you have with him behind you.

Have that conversation with him, and if he's not respondent then kick is techy-ass to the curb.

[pellaz]

you talk to some people my age and they sound like they never sent received a text ever in their lives. so i dont know what to say

maybe no texting after 6pm?