Texting (and texting, and texting, and...)

[stpdo2]

So I txt a lot, with my boyfriend. I probably annoy those around me at times because of it. However put me in the same room as my boyfriend and neither of us touch our phones much except to google something we're talking about or play music or respond to the less frequent txts from friends and family. So my thought is if it is negatively interrupting quality time then that is an issue but if it's just a useful tool you occasionally use while spending time together then what's the fuss. So basically I'm saying there is a balance and it should be attention is more towards your partner than your phone if you're together in person.

[TimeSage]

If your name is on the phonebill anywhere you may want to change the plan to give him a limited number of texts each month. That would give him a hard limit on how much he can text people, freeing him up for more time for you.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Personally, I wouldn't put up with it and tell him point blank that he is either dating me or dating his fucking phone.

There is a right time and a right place to text people... Doing it while someone else is there talking to you is plain rude.

Your going to the breaker box and cutting the power to the whole house to get his attention is severe - This means this texting addiction he has has become unmanageable and is a problem.

Addiction... that is what this is.

In winter with nothing else to do I spend a lot more time on computer. There is a reward (pleasure) with each post, each click, each thing I do. If it wasn't satisfying I would do something else. And there is always the need to read one more post, answer one more message, to send a quick word to a person.

Now that its spring and the weather is lovely, I'm spending much more time outside - but I find myself feeling just a wee bit guilty for ignoring my online friends.

Perhaps for him that guilt is bigger, the pleasure of the 'click' is addictive for him?

I read stuff like this:
http://janderson99.hubpages.com/hub/Text...and-Deaths

And I can't help but note that drug addicts are so obsessed with their drug of choice that they too partake of high risk activities. Perhaps Texting is his drug of choice.

Regardless, it is a problem - a big enough problem where you are resorting to extraordinary means to get his attention....

I think you need to draw a hard line or three here, give him his texting time, but also he has to give you his time and attention and turn off the fucking phone. Failure to do so is grounds for divorce.

You shouldn't have to be resorting to turning of the electricity to get his attention. That is desperate and passive aggressive and tells me that this is a serious issue in the relationship.

[TimeSage]

Oooh. That's a very good point BA. If it's true my previous suggestion becomes a much much better idea, as it will help him break the habit or it'll start draining his wallet

[rover330]

I guess it's different strokes for different folks... if I'm having a conversation with someone, I like to have their attention and not have it divided.

We're breaking up for a lot of different reasons, this is one of them. I'll not date a guy who pays more attention to his i-phone than he does to me, not only on a date, but at home hanging out.

I'm not that boring. He's the only person I've ever been in a relationship with that this has been an issue, but, I've never really run up against this before.

I still see nothing wrong with using one's vocal cords and speaking, rather than texting.

If that means I have to be alone for the rest of my life these days, so be it, I would rather be alone than play second fiddle to an i-phone. I want 2 people in my bed, not my bf and whoever he's texting. I think it's just rude. OMG IT J RD

There may even be another guy out there who feels the same way I do, who knows.

[VagabondKitten]

That is definitely a pet peeve of mine and I even grew up with it (for the most part). It even annoys me when my friends do it too much. If you're pulling it out every once and a while for a quick text I don't care, but if I actually have difficulty getting you to even participate in conversation, I won't be afraid to tell you to knock that shit off. I am not afraid to confront someone though so I will actually tell them to put it away if they ever want I hang out with me again. It's just rude and inconsiderate in my opinion. I sometimes feel that some people have lost touch with reality a bit and how to actually socially interact with people in person. I would love to see it lose popularity but I doubt it ever will.

[rover330]

the way this played out is, I wound up breaking up with him over this.

he and the iphone are happy together, I'm happier not having to compete with it. he will always have text, hopefully it won't kill him when he is steering with his knee going down the road at 70 mph reading and texting... "omg oh no he didn't, oh yes he did, oh no he didn't, oh yes he did..."

different strokes for different folks. with all due respect for what works for others, if I'm with my bf, 2 are company, three's a crowd. I don't really need him texting his best friend every 5 minutes laughing about some joke that only they get. I just think it's really rude.

Next guy that I date, the smart phone is going to have to be off when we're on a date... or I'll get up and leave and let them be alone together.

[princealbertofb]

Rover you made the right choice for you. It's a shame that said ex bf didn't realise that he was being inconsiderate and rude by giving precedence to his iPhone over a human being. It reminds me so much of how when you've been queueing up in any administration, and finally it's your turn to be served, the bloody phone rings, or rang , and immediately, the officer would answer the phone and not finish their dealings with you who had been queueing and waiting all this time. Think of travel agencies for instance or post offices... That's how it was, people would just NOT let the phone ring. I think they've finally got the hang of it and delegate someone totally to phone answering, not have them working at the till.
I get a lot of this improper behaviour in class despite the fact that use of mobiles is forbidden during classes by the school rules. Oh well, we can't win them all. Good luck with your next relationship, Rover.

[Kenny221]

I would be pissed too....Personally, I've never been much of a text addict like some other folks. I may send one or two texts a day but really no more then that. I can understand why you're angry because you're taking your time to spend with him, but he's busy texting someone else. I think you guys just need to sit down and talk about it.

[Pix]

I also think it's rude, unless there's a comfortable silence or like someone is away (otherwise if it's that important take it to the restroom).

Yet all the kids seem wired. I'm sure if I was a kid today that texting would be very much part of my world as well, and I wonder how that would change my attitude toward it as an adult later on. But I do know that I'm not the only mom who demands her daughter put it away at times, however.

Still, I'm less sympathetic to those who didn't grow up with it who constantly divide their attention (I'd say "tune them out") to deal with their texts. Some of them say it's an "addiction." Well admitting it is a good first step, now get help.