Gay and "Disabled".. can anyone else relate?

[Dreamer]

It's unfortunate that a majority of the gay community is stuck on this high horse of pettiness and artificial persistence when it comes to dating.

I, personally, see no color, creed, disability, social standing, and so on.

I've dated a guy who was deaf before. Not to compare the two, but it's considered a disability, and had never been in a relationship before me because of the same reasoning. It's hard dating, and finding that someone special without a disability is hard enough, so I understand where you're coming from.

Don't let that squash your determination though, because there are millions of disabled gay men out there from which to choose. You just have to know where to look. Do a little research because there MUST be some sort of organization or dating site specifically targeting this exact thing. Google has to pull up something.

Good luck!

[VileKyle]

I have a mental disability rather than a physical one. It definitely makes it harder to date, but not impossible. You just have to find people who aren't shallow assholes. Even though it's tough with a disability, at least it helps weed out the bad apples you wouldn't want to date anyways.

[ToddYoung]

There are plenty of people who see beyond outward appearances and/or illness and disability and are able to love someone for the person they are.

[fjp999]

I am disabled but my disability came on rather late in life and was brought on thru medical treatment... that old medical phrase about the cure being worse than the illness turned out to be triply true!

Due to Passport/Visa issues my longterm relationship is also long distance!

My partner is in Japan. He is an artist/designer and a few years ago diagnosed with depression/anxiety. Anyone who knew him, especially his family, knew he had mental issues for decades but until recently mental issues were untreated in Japan.

I have always considered myself his partner, manager, as well as care giver.

To be honest, anyone with a disability looking for a partner is probably going to find someone who is a care giver type... Looking at my partner one would never imagine that he had any issues but being his partner is/was a lot of work!

My disability is invisible also. I was treated for Hep C and treatment cured me but also disabled me. I am sure my neighbors wonder why I am home 7 days a week and the few that I admit to being 100% disabled are even more confused... I have a lot of "syndromes" with Chronic Fatigue being one of them. I push myself to do as much as I can myself and when I can do no more I stop.

I know that if I didnt have a long distant relationship and was seeking a partner that person would have to deal with some of my conditions that your average person wouldnt understand. Fuck, my mother couldnt understand what I was going thru most of the time!

I guess what I am trying to say is that all relationships are difficult (or take work)... even if a disabled person doesnt have that "the world owes me" thing going on - it seems that most humans (disabled and not) have a needy thing going on and in a healthy relationship it is a give and take... a balance, which a disabled gay person can reach with a partner, with work, like any two people.

[Spades]

Saw this today and wished I could be more like him; disabled but a great personality!

[Tyrion]

Very cool video Spades.. very entertaining . He was actually quite funny. Thanks for posting that.

[Tyrion]

Eek.. Okay so a guy I've been talking to on OKCupid wants to meet for coffee or something soon.. who I some how found nearby. I'm totally nervous and thought about not even answering the message but I think I'm going to go for it o.O..

[Nick9]

Don't even think about not giving it a try Good luck!

[Spades]

Eek.. Okay so a guy I've been talking to on OKCupid wants to meet for coffee or something soon.. who I some how found nearby. I'm totally nervous and thought about not even answering the message but I think I'm going to go for it o.O..

Go for it! Good luck and have fun

BTW, to all who are disabled and doing the dating sites - do you put your disability on your profile?

[Nick9]

BTW, to all who are disabled and doing the dating sites - do you put your disability on your profile?

Interesting question. I think I would like to know. When I go to a website looking for friendship and I find a friend and weeks or months later I find out about something like that, I don't mind at all.
I've never looked for a date on any dating website, but I would feel more comfortable to know about an illness or psychical problems etc before I start to picture my life with you. And no, it would not be the key to make my decision whether to contact you or not.

I think that I am afraid that if you tell me months later, I will look back at all my fantasies about you and see that they all were false and it would hurt.
I am not sure if it makes sense though :redface: