Money and Relationships

[pellaz]

good thing you guys have made a list of deal breakers before you moved in. not. i didnt do it either.

as i said in a above post you can elect to get your finances in order with or w/o your partner. Instead you choose to blame him.

Life can have its ups and downs, and if you go through a bitter time you will regret leaving your sunshine partner. Just suggesting a swap; he agrees to let you do the finances with respect to his guide lines and he handles you.

[Rainbowmum]

I am extremely worried about the verbal abuse , that is never a good sign in a relationship.
The other thing that really has me concerned is that the relation part of living together started with an ultimatum .
That is not a healthy way to start the next step of your relationship.

You have to be happy within yourself to be able to bring that to the relationship.
If you feel that you are being used or controlled ,perhaps it is time to reevaluate what you are willing to give up ,and what you are not.

We are all here for you.

[HomeagainNYC]

If anything, the more I think about leaving the more guilt I feel, because I know that it will not be easy for him. I care about him so much but have realized through the course of the day that as much as I care for him, he is not the guy for me.

Guilt is defined as - the fact or state of having committed an offense, crime, violation, or wrong, especially against moral or penal law; culpability: I can see no evidence of you meeting that definition. Perhaps empathic instead of guilty, you do appear to meet - that definition.

It was obvious from your first post that you already had a sense of where you stood on this subject. Conceivably, not as clearly in your head, as in your heart.

Coming to terms with change of this nature is never an easy thing to do; in reality, it’s the hardest part of the journey: letting go of the familiar past, and embracing the unfamiliar present. However, it’s necessary for us to make that emotionally move, before we can make the physically one, with any lasting degree of success.

The hardest part is done, really knowing what you want, or in this case what you don't want.

From what you have imparted here - it’s a good bet that you will sort out the logistics of moving forward - in a kind and compassionate way, for the both of you.

Moments of true clarity, are a powerful and rare thing, as we make our way in life, and I do believe - you are enjoying one of those moments - right now.

[NYblatino]

good thing you guys have made a list of deal breakers before you moved in. not. i didnt do it either.

as i said in a above post you can elect to get your finances in order with or w/o your partner. Instead you choose to blame him.

Life can have its ups and downs, and if you go through a bitter time you will regret leaving your sunshine partner. Just suggesting a swap; he agrees to let you do the finances with respect to his guide lines and he handles you.

You are right here, I can get my finances in order with him, it's just going to take much longer than I would like. And to those older than me it might seem foolish that I feel like I don't have my life together at my age, but to me the concern is real (if I don't think about my future who will?). Things have been difficult for us financially for most of the relationship and I don't blame him for that. I knew what I was getting into and now have to deal with the choices I've made.

I love him and do fear breaking up a good thing for what could be considered selfish reasons. I'll speak to him about it all and hopefully he can understand my position and ease my fears, if not, then things will just have to end.

[LateBloomer]

Let us know how it goes.
Good luck.