lauram340 Wrote:hey guys
well i havent seen her at all but i cant get her off my mind. They way i was years ago has come back. im not eating or sleeping and other stuff and its not good.
Has anyone been through these affects before?
xxx
Yes and I was in my forties and should have known better by that age, but the head doesn't always rule the heart. It was painful and miserable and I thought about him all the time ... he didn't want to know. The only thing I could think to do was to try and resist the temptation to get in touch and try to get on with what was left of my life. It took me a good two years to begin to deal with it although I was somewhat distracted by the disintegration of my family, the death of my mother following an accident at home, diagnosis of a degenerative eye condition, being made redundant from a job I'd held for thirteen years, finally coming out to other people, estrangement from my children who displayed varying levels of contempt for the father who wrecked their family, one being expelled from school at fourteen for drugs misdemeanours and another's suicide attempt, followed by her getting into a pattern of self-harming.
I met him by chance in Tesco's a year or so ago and it was great to see him again and even better that I was strong enough to walk away at the end of the conversation with my heart intact and know that the last five years with my dear princealbertofb are so much better than anything I could have had with him. To me that was a real achievement.
For the record, we are several years on and my daughter is happily in a relationship and is relaxed about displaying her arms and legs again, things are good with all my family and the expellee, now in his twenties, has qualified in a trade and works hard for his living.
You will get through this, Laura. Try to get on with day to day stuff as best you can, but most importantly be kind to yourself and be prepared to give yourself time.