topics to chat about

[lonelylad]

i was looking through this video.




are these questions really asked in a date?

[Rareboy]

No. But many of them probably should be.

The answers would tell you a lot about the person generally.

[Lexington]

Nothing wrong with your questions, except that once they're answered, you're sort of stuck. The real key to conversation is to take the answers you get, and expand out on them. Let me take one of your questions as an example.

"What's your favorite food?"
"I really like (dish)."
"What's your favorite place to get (dish)?"
"I really love the way they make it at (restaurant)."
"I've never been there. Do they make it differently somehow, or do they just do it really well?"
"They just do it really well."
"I'll have to try it sometime. I really like (dish) at (other restaurant) because they make it a bit differently..."

Lex

[lonelylad]

thank you rareboy and lexington. i think its a good way to broaden the conversation. thank you for your suggestion, lexington.

[NerdMonastery]

The key to starting a good conversation is to ask open ended questions, meaning questions that cannot be answered by a single word or short phrase.
For example:
What's your favourite food?
Pasta

What's your favourite colour?
Blue

How many siblings do you have?
Two.

It's not so bad to ask these questions as long as you have a follow up question that relates to the first question you asked.

Questions like:
What did you get up to today?
How was your weekend?
How was work?

Questions that cause the person to think and reflect on their answer are open ended questions because they aren't answered factually or quickly but rather need to be reflected on and then are communicated based on their feelings and opinions.

Also this is a general rule but they say that people love talking about themselves so it's good to ask questions that get them talking about themselves.
You know that they are also good at socialising if they do the same for you.
I find that people who love talking about themselves who aren't able to give that opportunity back in return to who they're talking to are either bad communicators and/or a bit up themselves.

Hope this helps and just to be completely honest and 100% fair, I'm not a good communicator myself but this is the kind of advice I've heard said many times.

[AlfredM]

...
3. whether they are staying with their parents or alone
...

While most of your questions are interview-like,this one in particular is usually asked in hook up scene as well to find out whether the other guy have place or not. Might want to avoid it in first chat if hooking up is not your intention.

Don't worry about people stop talking to you. Usually they're not into you,as simple as that. You could tell when you feel like you're the only guy interested in making the conversation flow.

...
A: "What's your favorite food?"
B: "I really like (dish)."
A: "What's your favorite place to get (dish)?"
B: "I really love the way they make it at (restaurant)."
A: "I've never been there. Do they make it differently somehow, or do they just do it really well?"
B: "They just do it really well."
A: "I'll have to try it sometime. I really like (dish) at (other restaurant) because they make it a bit differently..."

Lex

This doesn't work as well for me. I could tell immediately how B is not interested in A when A is the only one keep asking question and trying to expand the conversation while B only answer briefly (though it's better than one-worded reply,that's the worst and instant conversation killer). B could at least ask "how about you?". Or maybe it's just me.

[Lexington]

The key is to keep fishing until you find somethimg he IS interestedin, and keep the conversation going from there.

Lex