Relationship Boundaries......whats "too far"?
06-28-2013, 01:15 PM
Lots of posts on cheating. Not just physically, but mentally also.
This got me to thinking......how about another research thread?
First, we have to start with the basics.
What constitutes a relationship?
What is the relationship you have with this other person?
Is this relationship based on being there physically, or is this a technologically based
relationship?
Do both of you feel the same about each other?
Have both of you talked in depth about expectations, wants, and needs?
Have both of you agreed on what will make this a "relationship"?
What constitutes boundaries?
Have you actually SET any boundaries, or has it all been assumption?
Have these boundaries been agreed on by both parties involved?
Have the boundaries been written down, or is it all verbal?
Even if boundaries have been set, have repercussions been set along with them?
What deterrents have been discussed about when one of you feel like you may "break
the rules" of the boundaries?
What constitutes cheating?
Looking?
Flirting?
Texting?
Physical touching?
Actual sex?
*********************************************************************
(the term "technological relationship" refers to one that is completely derived from the use of technology...there has never been any physical involvement--being physically in the same room together. At least 50% or more of the time)
This is a technologically driven society now. The younger generation base their lives on what happens through their electronic devices. Sad, but true.
So, what is a "relationship" to you? Is it something where another person is actually, physically there with you, or is it something "online" or "on a site"? Can someone actually HAVE a relationship via electronic devices????
Also in the technological age, most kids (that I have seen) are raised by "parents" who have kids for the sole purpose of tax reasons, status reasons, or other reasons besides the reasons you are supposed to have kids. And these "parents" let technology raise their kids. The TV is the babysitter, the computer is the pacifier, the XBox is the "juvenile Xanax", the iPod is the comforter, and the cell phone is the "communicator". And whats worse is, the technologically raised kids are having kids, who are more "unhuman" than their parents.
Kids raised by technology dont have any kind of human interaction, except for the basic functioning fake social interactions most of us have once we step outside our homes. Hmmm, maybe not so "fake" as mechanized functions.
Understanding, compassion, basic logic, human feeling, and love are all being bred out of the human race by these technological raised people. Most have no concept of these things, and never will until its too late.
So, this being said.....is it a wonder SO many people/young people have SO many problems relating to other human beings on a intimate level, such as a relationship?
They have no understanding of what they are doing. A relationship to them is an App or program between two people. Something that has predetermined boundaries and rules. To them, all they know is they dont want to be lonely...so they look for a mate/partner. When they find one, it is expected that if they decide to "have a relationship" they both already know what that means. But they dont.
Neither have communicated anything to the other, except the basic wants and desires. No actual, deep seated emotions have been realized or spoken of. There has been no REAL communication, because they dont know how to communicate their inner most thoughts and feelings to another human being.
Yes, its long winded....but hang on, there is a point here............
Now, knowing what we know about all of this, how do you define a relationship in this new society?
How can you "draw the line" when you dont know how to set the boundaries, deterrents, and repercussions in a relationship?
How can you HAVE a relationship unless you know HOW to do these things?
Is a technologically based relationship REALLY a relationship? Or is it only "wishful thinking"?
Can a technologically based relationship have the same conditions, rules, and boundaries as a "real time" relationship?
How can someone expect rules to be followed when none have been discussed?
*************************************************************************
Now, to the point of all of this....
Cheating.
What is the basic definition (to you) of cheating?
Looking too "hard" at someone else?
Flirting?
Physical contact with someone else?
What is the definition of cheating in a technologically based relationship?
Communicating with someone on a site that is used for "finding someone"?
Sending naked pictures to each other?
Making "adult" videos for each other?
Sending provocative emails to someone?
What defines cheating if you have no boundaries?
What defines cheating if you have no repercussions for it?
In my opinion, people really have no idea how to interact and communicate with another human being on a human level. Therefore, they cannot possibly have any kind of true, working relationship.
Relationships are something that is a compromise between two adult minded people, who have the ability to communicate their thoughts, emotions, and feelings into verbal expressions that the other person can understand.
A relationship is not a predetermined App, program, or inherited trait. It is something that is developed, worked on, spoken about, and constantly fine tuned.
So.....
WHAT is a relationship to you?
WHAT does it consist of?
IS a technological "relationship" a REAL relationship?
Is CHEATING really cheating if there are no boundaries or repercussions?
What is going "too far" if expectations are all that is in any relationship?
What do you make of all this?
This got me to thinking......how about another research thread?
First, we have to start with the basics.
What constitutes a relationship?
What is the relationship you have with this other person?
Is this relationship based on being there physically, or is this a technologically based
relationship?
Do both of you feel the same about each other?
Have both of you talked in depth about expectations, wants, and needs?
Have both of you agreed on what will make this a "relationship"?
What constitutes boundaries?
Have you actually SET any boundaries, or has it all been assumption?
Have these boundaries been agreed on by both parties involved?
Have the boundaries been written down, or is it all verbal?
Even if boundaries have been set, have repercussions been set along with them?
What deterrents have been discussed about when one of you feel like you may "break
the rules" of the boundaries?
What constitutes cheating?
Looking?
Flirting?
Texting?
Physical touching?
Actual sex?
*********************************************************************
(the term "technological relationship" refers to one that is completely derived from the use of technology...there has never been any physical involvement--being physically in the same room together. At least 50% or more of the time)
This is a technologically driven society now. The younger generation base their lives on what happens through their electronic devices. Sad, but true.
So, what is a "relationship" to you? Is it something where another person is actually, physically there with you, or is it something "online" or "on a site"? Can someone actually HAVE a relationship via electronic devices????
Also in the technological age, most kids (that I have seen) are raised by "parents" who have kids for the sole purpose of tax reasons, status reasons, or other reasons besides the reasons you are supposed to have kids. And these "parents" let technology raise their kids. The TV is the babysitter, the computer is the pacifier, the XBox is the "juvenile Xanax", the iPod is the comforter, and the cell phone is the "communicator". And whats worse is, the technologically raised kids are having kids, who are more "unhuman" than their parents.
Kids raised by technology dont have any kind of human interaction, except for the basic functioning fake social interactions most of us have once we step outside our homes. Hmmm, maybe not so "fake" as mechanized functions.
Understanding, compassion, basic logic, human feeling, and love are all being bred out of the human race by these technological raised people. Most have no concept of these things, and never will until its too late.
So, this being said.....is it a wonder SO many people/young people have SO many problems relating to other human beings on a intimate level, such as a relationship?
They have no understanding of what they are doing. A relationship to them is an App or program between two people. Something that has predetermined boundaries and rules. To them, all they know is they dont want to be lonely...so they look for a mate/partner. When they find one, it is expected that if they decide to "have a relationship" they both already know what that means. But they dont.
Neither have communicated anything to the other, except the basic wants and desires. No actual, deep seated emotions have been realized or spoken of. There has been no REAL communication, because they dont know how to communicate their inner most thoughts and feelings to another human being.
Yes, its long winded....but hang on, there is a point here............
Now, knowing what we know about all of this, how do you define a relationship in this new society?
How can you "draw the line" when you dont know how to set the boundaries, deterrents, and repercussions in a relationship?
How can you HAVE a relationship unless you know HOW to do these things?
Is a technologically based relationship REALLY a relationship? Or is it only "wishful thinking"?
Can a technologically based relationship have the same conditions, rules, and boundaries as a "real time" relationship?
How can someone expect rules to be followed when none have been discussed?
*************************************************************************
Now, to the point of all of this....
Cheating.
What is the basic definition (to you) of cheating?
Looking too "hard" at someone else?
Flirting?
Physical contact with someone else?
What is the definition of cheating in a technologically based relationship?
Communicating with someone on a site that is used for "finding someone"?
Sending naked pictures to each other?
Making "adult" videos for each other?
Sending provocative emails to someone?
What defines cheating if you have no boundaries?
What defines cheating if you have no repercussions for it?
In my opinion, people really have no idea how to interact and communicate with another human being on a human level. Therefore, they cannot possibly have any kind of true, working relationship.
Relationships are something that is a compromise between two adult minded people, who have the ability to communicate their thoughts, emotions, and feelings into verbal expressions that the other person can understand.
A relationship is not a predetermined App, program, or inherited trait. It is something that is developed, worked on, spoken about, and constantly fine tuned.
So.....
WHAT is a relationship to you?
WHAT does it consist of?
IS a technological "relationship" a REAL relationship?
Is CHEATING really cheating if there are no boundaries or repercussions?
What is going "too far" if expectations are all that is in any relationship?
What do you make of all this?
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
It would take me hours to think about it thoroughly and put it on paper. And then I would fight the urge to make it anonymous anyway :/
