PoeticJustice Wrote:I feel like Im going to be single forever being Gay it's just always something when it comes to trying to get in a relationship. I've tried the whole hookup sites and stuff but hooking up its just not me after the fact I feel disgusting and dirty , it's just not me but I'm at the point were I don't know what to ! I mean I'm young 18 but still . Any Advice ?
At age 47 I am single (again)
. I have been in 6 relationships. The longest relationship was 14.5 years. The shortest was 6 months. They all didn't end well.
There was two times I tried 'random hook-ups' - casual sex - slut-hood - whatever you want to call it. While I was able to get off, I wasn't fully satisfied with the encounters. I discovered that for myself, in order for sex to 'rock my world' or be satisfying I needed it to be in the confines of a loving relationship.
"...trying to get in a relationship". Relationships are not something you can try to get into. Either they come about or they don't. People never plan to fall in love - in fact the phrase 'fall in love' is accurate in that love is sort of like gravity, once it does kick in you are as helpless to stop it as you are helpless to stop gravity from pulling you down.
You will not be single forever. You are living in an Era of Change. The USA is seeing more and more states with gay marriage - 'equality' for LGBT to marry means that our attitudes toward marriage in the LGBT world will change, as will out attitudes toward relationships and what they are.
In our never ending quest for 'equality' we are becoming hetro in our attitudes. You will most likely be surrounded by gay guys who are looking for marriage in a society where that marriage is possible. The days of being told 'Your love isn't really love' are coming to an end. That will mean that the acceptance of promiscuity on the wholesale level that it was is going to fade away.
As for finding potential mates - I don't know. If I knew my title wouldn't include 'single' in it. As for finding good, decent men who won't end up breaking your heart - good luck with that. 6 relationships I have had and each ended up finding a new way to break my old heart.
I would suggest that instead of looking at every gay man who enters your life as a potential mate, look at them as potential friend. If you can form a friendship with him then your chances at having a quality relationship improves. Let love happen on its own time. Trying to force it never ends well.
You are 18 - I recall what that was like. Time was so slow, and a year felt like half an eternity. From where I sit I now look back and see how fast time really went.
Besides, you don't want to seek to settle down for a long haul relationship until late 20's, early 30's. You have a lot of personal growth and personal change ahead of you for the coming decade. By the time you hit 30 you will have changed you opinion on a lot of stuff because a decade of being an adult in the real world is going to teach you a lot of important things.
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