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Is this guy interested in me? Not sure if I should pursue this...
#1
To keep my backstory simple, I am kind of inept when it comes to this sort of thing. There have been several times where I've thought that someone was expressing romantic interest in me, and I've been totally wrong, so I'm not getting my hopes up on this but I wanted outside opinions.

Anyway, I always go to the same gas station on the way home from work/school/whatever else, and am there a couple of times a week on average. There's one guy who works there (and has for maybe a month or so now) who I have this creeping feeling is interested in me— like I said, I'm inept at reading this kind of thing, but it appears that way.

Not to further any stereotypes, but he does talk a bit effeminately— not overtly flamboyant, but, you know, I can tell. It's noticeable; the way he speaks is really soft and feminine-sounding. He's helped me multiple times there over the past month or so, and every time has been extremely friendly; really upbeat and smiley towards me, makes a lot of eye contact, etc. I was there last week and I saw him motion to his co-worker to help the woman across from me who had been there first (didn't make out what he said to him), and then proceeded to help me instead; I didn't think anything of it until after I left, but it seemed like he did it on purpose so that he'd have the opportunity to help me rather than her. A few days later I came back to fill my tank before going on a road trip I was making the next morning to Seattle for a concert— it was a bit late and there wasn't really anyone else there, and he helped me again. Super friendly as always, made a lot of eye contact with me. Now, I wouldn't typically think much of this, but what he did next has made me seriously wonder— after my tank was filled, he came to my window and crouched down low enough to look into the car at me and made hardcore straightforward eye contact with me, and then asked me if I needed my receipt— I said no, and he kind of sat there for a second or two and was about to say something and then stopped himself, and said instead "You have a lovely night"— all while making direct eye contact with me. I kind of laughed and told him to do the same, and he just waved and smiled as I drove off.

Honestly, I was sort of taken aback by it. Usually people at gas stations barely acknowledge you as a human being (and who can blame them?), and none of the people who work there have ever been that friendly or direct with me. It stood out to me because was extremely unusual; most of my experiences at gas stations are pretty mundane.

So basically my question is,

1) Is it likely this guy is gay?
and 2) Is he possibly interested in me, or am I reading this completely wrong?

I've never had a straight guy look me in the face, smiling, and tell me to have a "lovely night"— kind of bold. And he does, like I said, seem effeminate. When he stopped himself before saying it, it seemed like he wanted to say something and almost did but then held back and opted for the "have a lovely night" thing instead. That's how it came off at least. I dunno. Am I wrong to infer that this guy might be interested in me, and if he likely is, what's the best way to approach this?

I considered just continuing to go there as I always do and see if he makes a bolder move toward me, but I'm not sure about that. I'm not typically an aggressor in any facet of my life, so I'm hoping if he is interested that he makes the first move. I've yet to have a full conversation with him, but I'm wondering if I should start one or wait for him to. The only problem with that is that it's sometimes busy there and he wouldn't have a whole lot of time to talk.

Anyway, yeah, am I interpreting this the wrong way, or is there something going on there? It just strikes me as totally unusual, and the past few times I've gone there I get this feeling that he's almost flirting with me. I do think he's cute too, for the record.
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#2
Well, first, hello and welcome.

My first piece of advice is... DON'T ASSUME! Your assumption may be right but it may be wrong and make an ass out of you and another!

Next, try flirting back. If it works, it works. If not, he's not gay, nothing loss. (Unless you're a really awkward flirter like me)
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#3
It definitely sounds like there could be a level of interest going on, from him.

I am, often, the aggressor, so my immediate advice is start up a conversation with him. See what he's made of. If you've figured out his general schedule and when it's typically slow, go in at those times and make casual conversation about his day, what plans he has for the day, how he enjoys working at the gas station and how it could be an interesting study in human nature, and just see where it leads. The worst that can happen is that you have to find a new gas station - aw damn.

We only live once, might as well take charge!
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#4
I went there again the other day and he helped me, but they were really busy and I was half trying to talk on the phone while I was there so there wasn't really a chance to say anything to him. He is really, really cute; cuter than I thought initially. I think I'm just gonna let it go though and see if anything else comes of it, or if he makes it blatantly obvious that he's interested in me (if he's even gay— he could be totally hetero for all I know, although my instincts tell me otherwise). I'm not going to dwell on it and I don't have the nerve to outright ask him. I haven't amassed that much gutsiness yet. I'll just continue to get gas there as usual and go with the flow.
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#5
he might be . go for it
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#6
That's tricky...
I've been in the same EXACT situation,
oddly enough....

The Walgreens by my house was a regular stop
I'd always make to get a broad scope of things,
as with any other normal everyday person.

I get in line to checkout,
and this REALLY cute tall guy with dreads
I'd never seen before
rang me up.

From the moment I walked up to his register,
I felt this aura from him
that I couldn't shake off.
He had this irresistible deep soft voice,
and twinkle in his eye.

Not to mention,
he was SUPER sweet,
and always struck up small talk with me,
every time I'd come in
(with a genuine interest in how I was doing).

Most, if not all,
workers at any drug store
are guaranteed to be dismissive,
and nonchalant about a customer's presence
(they simply don't get paid enough to give a shit).

It was like his face lit up
when he'd see me walk in.
He'd initiate by asking me how I've been,
with this incredible smile that made me melt!
He was overly concerned,
and helpful with whatever I was there to get.

Things even got to a point to where,
when we'd greet,
we'd pull in for a quick "pound hug".

Anyhoo,
I could've SWORN HE WAS GAY,
(and my gaydar is almost NEVER wrong!)
and had a definite interest in me.

It was a tough call to make
because he either was gay,
really valued customer service,
or just have a genuinely sweet personality.

I even had a close friend come with me,
to confirm my suspicions,
and see was head-over-heels positive
that he was flirting with me.

So on Valentine's day,
after over two years of anticipation,
I went for it..
straight up asked for his number,
and insisted we should hang out sometime....

Shit blew up in my face,
as he said he had a girlfriend,
and that he'd see me around....

The energies of awkwardness
and "WTFedness"
RADIATED from his presence,
and I left the store with my tail between my legs.

The next few occasions of going there
left me feeling ostracized
by him and fellow employees
(with snickering and smirks on their faces).

My last visit,
I was next in line for him to ring me up on the register
(no one behind me in line),
and he went out of his way to,
over the loud speakers,
radio another employee to ring me up in the make-up department....
I didn't have a return,
or dispute about an ongoing sale price of anything....
Just BAM!
Passive aggression in it's truest,
most painful form...
:frown:

Not that this will be your experience,
but the coin can only land in two ways.
He's either gay or not,
and into you or not.

Regardless of the slap in the face,
I don't regret it because NOW I KNOW!
Life's too short to sit in the sidelines.
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#7
Straight guys can unknowingly give you the wrong impression by being overly friendly.

One of the first things you need to do is let the individual know you are gay. You can do this by putting a rainbow emblem on your car or wearing a t-shirt that makes an obvious statement about your sexuality ,,,, like "I'm Gay"

You can buy Rainbow magnetic signs to put on your car - from the internet. But I don't suggest leaving the sign on your car permanently because it can draw the wrong kind of attention from homophobes. Just use it when you need to let someone know your gay,,, like the service technician at the gas station.

There are even Rainbow flags that you can put on your car antenna!!!!

If the guy your interested in knows you are gay; he will stop being overly friendly if he's straight. If he's gay,,,,,, he'll jump on your bones and make mad passionate love to you and you'll live happily ever after. (smile)....
We Have Elvis !!
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#8
Ax him.

I am constantly wondering why it is people like you can't ask a person what is on their mind. Maybe its a little Asperger's of me but I ask people stuff all the time, even really embarrassing stuff like 'Are you gay?'.

There is no other way to know but to ask him. Seriously all of the symptoms and signs can be something else. It is highly probable that you are seeing things that are not going on in real life because you have this 'wish thing' going on and wish reality to bend to your will thus are reading a lot more into what you see going on than what is really there.
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#9
starbelly Wrote:I went there again the other day ... I'm not going to dwell on it and I don't have the nerve to outright ask him ...

gays are 3-5% of the general population, makes it un likely you could just walk up to someone and expect a date, seems his attitude is ok for it tho.

do it
most people vote you give it a try. anything could be in the way, he might already have a boy friend but it would be good for you to try.
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#10
Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:Ax him.

I am constantly wondering why it is people like you can't ask a person what is on their mind. Maybe its a little Asperger's of me but I ask people stuff all the time, even really embarrassing stuff like 'Are you gay?'.

There is no other way to know but to ask him. Seriously all of the symptoms and signs can be something else. It is highly probable that you are seeing things that are not going on in real life because you have this 'wish thing' going on and wish reality to bend to your will thus are reading a lot more into what you see going on than what is really there.

I get what you're saying and I know that straight guys can give the wrong impression (it's happened to me before), which is why I'm hesitant to even make any sort of move in the situation. It seems too early; I feel like I should wait a little bit and see if he does anything else that's "suspicious", you know? I'm actually a high-functioning autistic myself, and even I don't have the guts to straight up ask him at his workplace, "hey dude, are you gay?". Not gonna happen. I know it's the only for sure way that I'll know (unless he makes some sort of advance on me), but I just can't bring myself to do it.
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