what should I do in this situation?

[Bookworm]

It could be that's he's reaching out to make amends for previous attitudes and behaviors towards you from past school days. Perhaps he's finally growing up and re-evaluating the impact his previous actions may have had on others?

I think you are right to feel suspicious of his intentions though, I think I would be if it were me as it appears to be out of character for him. It's difficult to gauge what to do without knowing the people involved.
If I declined the invitation I'd maybe keep a possible channel of communication open by saying I could catch up with him another time (at a time and place of my choosing) and see how he reacts to that. It really depends if I wanted to spend the energy to build bridges with someone who, at the end of the day, is not that important to me, even if all he was looking to do was apologise for past behavior. That is his baggage at the end of the day, not yours.

On a side note, I've recently had the experience of reconnecting with childhood classmates via Facebook (I was tagged in our class photo) when we were all 11 years old. It was very weird chatting with some of them again because so much time has passed. The reason I'm mentioning this is that my perception of one or two of them exactly mirrors what you are experiencing now, and they turned out to be quite different people now and were not even aware of how I felt about them.

Go with your instincts in this, you seem to be a perceptive guy. mile:

[SeaDevil]

I've actually had this happen more than once. It really depends on what you believe his intentions to be. It doesn't particularly matter, in my opinion, whether our not he's gay or still a homophobe. I have friends whose religions say being gay is an aberration, but don't feel it necessary to be rude to me about it. I would talk openly with him about it, point out his old behavior and see how he responds first.

[HomeagainNYC]

If it where me, I would put the ball back in his court and say - "I'm slammed for the next few weeks, but I get the sense there's something in particular you wanted to discuss. What's up?"

You did not reject him, you did not agree to see him, he’s now on the spot to tell you why he's contacting you; once you find out what’s on his mind then you can decide how you would like to proceed - if at all - since you have not committed yourself to anything.

You will also have more information so you can tailor your response to his request. Right now you have nothing to work with.

[SolemnBoy]

I actually have access to my computer now so hopefully I can clarify some things. First of all, I'm not confused over his intentions. He probably just wants to get in touch with someone he used to see as an acquaintance back in primary school but who never really felt the same thing in return. He's certainly not trying to make amends for anything because, as I said earlier, in his world he never did anything worth making amends for to begin with.

Partisan, I think you could be on to something in your post but as far as I know he has a pretty rich social life. He was one of the popular ones after all and we haven't reach the age where that's socially irrelevant yet. However, I cannot ignore him. I'm going to answer him rather late, perhaps even in a few days, but I will not ignore him or lie to him. I'm just at a loss for what to do. Thanks everyone for trying to help me out!

I think the way he wished me a happy birthday is contributing to my difficulties in declining his offer...

[pellaz]

do it........

[LateBloomer]

I actually have access to my computer now so hopefully I can clarify some things. First of all, I'm not confused over his intentions. He probably just wants to get in touch with someone he used to see as an acquaintance back in primary school but who never really felt the same thing in return. He's certainly not trying to make amends for anything because, as I said earlier, in his world he never did anything worth making amends for to begin with.

Partisan, I think you could be on to something in your post but as far as I know he has a pretty rich social life. He was one of the popular ones after all and we haven't reach the age where that's socially irrelevant yet. However, I cannot ignore him. I'm going to answer him rather late, perhaps even in a few days, but I will not ignore him or lie to him. I'm just at a loss for what to do. Thanks everyone for trying to help me out!

I think the way he wished me a happy birthday is contributing to my difficulties in declining his offer...

Good luck. Let us know how it goes.

My guess, after he invited HIMSELF to your pool, he asks you for money for the beer too.

Color me cynical...

[MisterTinkles]

Two options...

1. Totally ignore him and just delete everything he sends you without reading it.
If you can block him, do it.

2. Just respond "thanks, but Im busy".

[Beaux]

"A few weeks ago he invited me to his 18th birthday party after years of no communication. I probably won't go. Now, just a few minutes ago he wrote to me asking if i'd like to have a few beers and chill by the pool, at MY place! Who does that?"

~ in my (ahem)...limited....experience, the above scenario usually leads to nudity and fornication. Of course, I am only speaking from things I have heard....

[SolemnBoy]

"A few weeks ago he invited me to his 18th birthday party after years of no communication. I probably won't go. Now, just a few minutes ago he wrote to me asking if i'd like to have a few beers and chill by the pool, at MY place! Who does that?"

~ in my (ahem)...limited....experience, the above scenario usually leads to nudity and fornication. Of course, I am only speaking from things I have heard....

I can see why you'd think that but I know this guy and the thought of that happening is making me laugh, kind of. He's the most over-sexualizing horny person ever but like most stereotypical jocks he fears homoeroticism like the plague. Maybe I should just lick his face and make him leave forever...

[TKC]

Or you could lick his...something else....and make him cum for days ;o)