So recently, I've been very interested in homosexuality and the gay community and whatnot. There used to be a time when gay stuff freaked me the hell out. That was when I was young and uninformed. But after taking a sexuality class in college and just doing my own research, I can say I'm not only accepting but proud of gay people who are able to be themselves and be happy.
But my own curiosity while doing my "research" has grown recently. I've been curious how gay relationships work and what makes a guy so attractive. When I see a picture of some muscle guy shirtless and wearing boxers, I start to see the appeal. I've even been curious enough to watch gay porn, and I actually get a pretty intense boner. As a man who's thought himself to be straight his whole life, this is really confusing for me. I mean, I definitely still find girls attractive, but recently if I were to look at a picture list of people in swimsuits, the thumbnails of guys would catch my eye first. With porn, if I watch straight porn, it takes me longer to get a boner. But with gay porn, it's almost instant the moment the video starts up. I mean, in my mind I'm thinking "That girl is really hot." but I'm totally soft. Then I'm thinking "Look at that guy posing for the camera like he's so cool, what a douche." but I've got a raging hard-on. I don't know if I'm just in denial or if my penis is being a real jerk to me. The only explanation I tell myself is that I've been looking at porn with girls in it and bikini babes for so long, maybe I've gotten a little bored of it since there's really nothing I haven't already seen. Maybe I'm looking for something fresh and new, and guys certainly are fresh and new.
I'm actually very inexperienced in romance and intimacy. I'm over 20 and still haven't kissed anyone yet. Sad, I know. So I've never really experimented to see what I liked, but for my whole life I always thought it was girls. And as much as I want to lose my virginity and figure out for sure what I like, I do value true romance quite a bit. So I don't want to just lose my v-card through a one nighter. I just don't know if it's normal for a straight guy to be curious about men sometime in their lives or if I'm possibly bisexual.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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Curiosity is certainly a possibility, but I wouldn't rule bisexuality out. The best thing to do is just let things run their course, and see what happens. You don't want to rush into a situation just to test the waters, because then you'd be forcing the situation. Wait and see. Sexuality is more than just blood rushing to the organs, there's usually at least some semblance of emotional attraction involved; even though you might find something "sexy" now, it could just be the visual element, or the "taboo" nature of it all. Just let things happen naturally, and I'm sure everything will become clear in time 
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I don't want to lose my virginity in a casual fling either. As much as I'd like to lose it, I'd rather keep being Mother Teresa until (or if) I start a substantial relationship with someone. I'd have to trust the person to have sex with them. That's just how I operate.
Anyway, to be the one to break it to you, you're probably bisexual. I've never been turned on by a woman in my life, so I can say indefinitely that I am 100% gay. If you're getting turned on by just the thought of gay porn though, that's pretty indicative that there's substantial homoerotic attraction there— maybe you suppressed it or it was untapped or something, but if you were absolutely hetero, you wouldn't get a "raging boner" over two guys railing each other.
That said, it's not a big deal. I've known I was gay since I was 6.
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kidchameleon Wrote:Sexuality is more than just blood rushing to the organs, there's usually at least some semblance of emotional attraction involved; even though you might find something "sexy" now, it could just be the visual element, or the "taboo" nature of it all.
It's probably worth mentioning that these possible sexual feelings only really occur with porn or pictures of guys trying to be sexy and stuff like that. If I'm actually around some guys, I never have any kind of emotional or sexual attraction to them. But around girls, yes. This also confused me. It's like, who's correct, my brain or my penis? :/
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TonyAndonuts Wrote:It's probably worth mentioning that these possible sexual feelings only really occur with porn or pictures of guys trying to be sexy and stuff like that. If I'm actually around some guys, I never have any kind of emotional or sexual attraction to them. But around girls, yes. This also confused me. It's like, who's correct, my brain or my penis? :/
Brain. All the way. The penis lies 
But that's pretty much what I was talking about. It's all blood for you. You're attracted to the sexual imagery involving men, but that doesn't necessarily mean the attraction follows through to men in real life - because meeting someone in person makes you involved in the interaction. Viewing it online is a completely different experience because you're not really involved, you're only a spectator.
Like, I enjoy watching football on the odd occasion... but I'd never play it. That'd be a decent metaphor for the situation I think. Seeing a guy in person is more involving than watching him **** himself online. So if you get those feelings for women in the close-range, that'd probably a good indicator that heterosexuality is the way you're leaning 
At least that's my two cents anyway.
Or pence.
I'm not American...
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Be careful with me. I talk like my cousin John Brennan, the new CIA Director. I am authoritative by nature and like to be the boss. All the guys, about 40, who have had sex with me describe me as gentle and kind. I also never leave any doubt that I have been openly gay for 57 years and enjoy it.
I almost never had sex with a guy who thought of himself as gay. Most guys I knew were at a point of change in their life and I would suggest do you want to try something different. Second warning. all my friends from 5th grade forward said I was a dead ringer for Justin Bieber. I always had an erection and loved grabbing it in front of anyone. Boys and girls found me sexually attractive. I would offer to teach a guy something about his body. I would lean forward, land on my shoulder and come back to an upright position. The marine corps loved me because I was an excellent fighter and marksman. People called me a Man's man. I liked guys and made no bones about it.
I had sex with over 30 guys who said they were straight. All said they loved having sex with me but eventually they all married and had children. I even have a few godsons for my efforts. My usual approach would be to ask you if you are curious about sex with guys. Most guys are but don't want to make a serious commitment, just do some personal research about their own convictions. That's great with me, another guy will come along. I usually stayed friends with old lovers and we joke about our families and friends. It's nice to have sex with a guy and stay friends. Needless to say I got hit by a straight guy named Tom and we exploded on the spot. We are still madly in love with each other. I guess I won with Tom. He enjoyed sex with me, and me only, and I enjoyed sex with Tom because he was gorgeous.
First rule. I was always truthful about myself and would expect you to be the same. If you were curious I would ask you show me how to blow you. You show me and I will deliver. I tried to make sure a guy was not promising to love me forever. A few weeks, a few months, a few years and one guy for life. I hate being pressured. I like things to be easy going and pleasant. I always talk about other subjects like quantum physics, philosophy, art, music. I have an IQ over 160 and am not very patient with dumb guys. I like guys who are curious. You sound curious and I can feel my hand edging towards your zipper. I like a guy who says "Thanks John, I really enjoyed that. I hope we meet again some day." I like meeting old lovers and kidding them. "Hey, did your wife like that tatoo, Tommy?" "Shut the fuck up, John. She thinks she's the only one who felt my ass."
I liked to flirt with guys as cute boys do. Ugly and fat boys are really screwed. Until you know who you are, never go near a guy who says he is madly in love with you. Guys liked me because I was easy going and kept going when they dated girls. Straights nice and you can have children. How do you feel about marriage and children. If that's what you want, stay straight. Your life will be easier as a straight man. I still love making it with a man. Happier than some straight guys I know. I've watched guys go through ugly divorces because they didn't find out about all their sexual feelings. Find out now. Not after you get engage or married. No harm no foul for a 21 year old to be curious. Don't abuse gay guys. We do have tempers. I never felt bad that I had sex with straight guys who got married. Most guys will eventually want a wife.
Good luck.
John
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Most guys will eventually want a wife? 
...If you're 67, how exactly did people think you looked like Justin Beiber in fifth grade?
How does that work?
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....I...I'm not exactly sure how to respond to all that, John. ._. But I thought sexuality wasn't a choice. How can I stay straight or how can someone have sex with a guy, like it, but continue to be straight if it's not a choice?
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TonyAndonuts Wrote:....I...I'm not exactly sure how to respond to all that, John. ._. But I thought sexuality wasn't a choice. How can I stay straight or how can someone have sex with a guy, like it, but continue to be straight if it's not a choice?
Gurl, lesbi honest, you're bi, embrace it xD or keep it secret till you see a guy and you fall in love <3
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Not sure about orientation...
