Need serious help with relationship problems

[Anonymous]

I was at this guys house the other day and we were drinking. And I was sick in his toilet... but he came in and hugged me and rubbed my back and was going "don't worry it's ok" and then he kissed my neck. And then we wen't to his sitting room and he started to hold my hand and he hugged me and then I had to go. And when I went to leave he hugged me again and I moved in and kissed him..
The he asked me to stay with him overnight, not to have sex just so he wasn't alone, but I couldn't so I had to leave. He phoned me and started crying and asked me to come back and I told him I couldn't and he said he was in love with me. And I told him to phone me the next day so we could talk about it cause I felt the same way.
But the next5 day he texted me and asked me to forget everything I said and when I asked if he meant it he replied "I rly dnt knw". And then he just sorta avoided the question again and again and doesn't want to talk about it. I managed to get him in a corner bout it once and he never answered he just asked why I cared so much.
So I don't know what to do now. Some of my friends think he's just shy/embarrassed and think I should tell him how I feel while he's sober, but other's think he's just toying with me and was only using me to make himself feel better about his "miserable life". And I really want to tell him but I'm worried that if I do he'll tell me it was just the drink, and it'll ruin our friendship. But at the same time I'm worried that if he does like me and I leave it to late he might find someone else...
What should I do?

[Dan1089]

Buddy,I don't have much experience but I'd advise you to first confront him head on,find out what he was doing that night exactly.Its better that you know what are his true feelings are.Then you can decide what the next step is.Good luck.

[marshlander]

I'd say Dan is pretty spot on. You can't do much if you don't know what's happening. Would you want a relationship with someone who can't or won't answer some basic questions? Nah, you're worth more than that.

Why would it ruin the friendship if he tells you it was just the drink? The only way I could see that happen would be if you came over all queenie and go into the dreaded "but you said ..." routine. If it was the drink talking why can't you both laugh your socks off. Then tell him, if that's the effect alcohol has on him, you ought to go drinking again!

Point of order though. Being sick in his toilet is not actually very nice, so you might want to hit the J2Os before you get to that stage.

Good luck

[newc_student_18]

Point of order though. Being sick in his toilet is not actually very nice, so you might want to hit the J2Os before you get to that stage.

Hey at least he got to the toilet, methinks credit is due for that!!! :biggrin:

[marshlander]

Hey at least he got to the toilet, methinks credit is due for that!!! :biggrin:

Merciful Heavens :eek:

This must be one of those generational differences I read about in the papers

[newc_student_18]

I only said this because i had one friend who was drunk, and then kissed his boyfriend, at which point the alcohol decided to leave him, and my friend was sick in his boyfriend's mouth/all down his boyfriend lol .... i say friend more like acquaintance *backs away from embarrassing friend*

[marshlander]

[quote=newc_student_18]I only said this because ............/quote]
STOP!!

I think I've heard enough, thanks! :eek:

[newc_student_18]

Lol even if i wanted to i know of no more details to tell.
Though they are still together, so maybe it's the sort of thing that strengthens a relationship. Still i don't think i'l be trying it out.

[fjp999]

let me see if I can put this in more pleasant terms...

A friend of mine lost his virginity in his early 30s and only knew about gay sex thru porn.

He brings his first guy home and decides he will go down on him like he sees the porn stars do with a good deep throat. The guy was pretty large and the gag reflex took over just as the cat was coming thru to see what was going on. Poor kitty got a mess from the gag reflex.

I think they are still together also so maybe ns18 is right about strengthening relationships.