Why do so many gay guys appear vain?

[Tulloni]

Sorry if this causes offence but I need to get this off my chest. I am starting to wonder if there isn't a lot of vanity in the gay world. So many gay guys I know seem obsessed with money, bling, worldly goods, their looks, scoring with a perfect guy, everything really. I am talking from dating sites which specialise in 'elite partners' and often have the term 'elite' in them or 'professional' (like I care what someone's job is?) which aim to keep the riff raff (common people like moi) from contaminating the pool of potential candidates right down to guys obsessed with fashion, their clothing (and criticising their friends clothing needlessly) and the way they look in general.

I've had enough of these vain idiots slagging me off. I've been out with so called friends who always seem to make it their mission to put me down one way or another (i.e. diss my appearance) and it really gets on my nerves. Plus I often seem to get overlooked just because I am a thin, pale Scandinavian bloke. If I was a muscular, Mediterranean or Latino guy I would get snapped up in an instant even if I was a complete moron. I honestly don't mean any disrespect to people of Mediterranean or Latino descent, and indeed I've got lots of friends from these countries (I like French people too) but you must understand how frustrating it is. Sometimes I think some people seem to care about appearance too much.

Oh I forgot I wear glasses as well. That instantly puts people off. I've often been told by these vain idiots ''I would be interested in you if you got rid of the glasses''. I wish I had more confidence in real life. I should've told them where to get off. Why do people get put off just because someone wears glasses or has a mole on their cheek or red hair or are just slightly over or under weight?!

I know another 'friend' of mine who only seems to care about money.... that's all that matters to him.

Sometimes I wish there really was a God (or gods even) so one of them could just slam these bitches right down to hell.

Nothing's wrong with wanting to be successful but when you seem to value money, worldly possessions, etc above all else then you need to re-evaluate your life.

It's not so much in issue in working class small towns but when you go to big cities like London or Paris its just like being in vanity central!

Anyway has anyone else ever had this problem? To be fair maybe our society does place too much emphasis on physical perfection, beauty and wealth. Maybe we should just try to be happy and just stop with the stupid acquisitive behaviour once our needs are met?

[Tulloni]

Maybe you're right. Well the guys I hang out with now seem okay. Problem is vanity is everywhere. You don't have to go far to see it either. I don't think there's anything wrong with being proud but being vain is annoying.

[MisterTinkles]

Welcome to the shallow, vain, self-absorbed world of
GAY

[SolemnBoy]

People in general tend to be vain, it's not more common in the "gay world". At least I highly doubt so.

[Matty71]

Sorry if this causes offence but I need to get this off my chest. I am starting to wonder if there isn't a lot of vanity in the gay world. So many gay guys I know seem obsessed with money, bling, worldly goods, their looks, scoring with a perfect guy, everything really. I am talking from dating sites which specialise in 'elite partners' and often have the term 'elite' in them or 'professional' (like I care what someone's job is?) which aim to keep the riff raff (common people like moi) from contaminating the pool of potential candidates right down to guys obsessed with fashion, their clothing (and criticising their friends clothing needlessly) and the way they look in general.

I've had enough of these vain idiots slagging me off. I've been out with so called friends who always seem to make it their mission to put me down one way or another (i.e. diss my appearance) and it really gets on my nerves. Plus I often seem to get overlooked just because I am a thin, pale Scandinavian bloke. If I was a muscular, Mediterranean or Latino guy I would get snapped up in an instant even if I was a complete moron. I honestly don't mean any disrespect to people of Mediterranean or Latino descent, and indeed I've got lots of friends from these countries (I like French people too) but you must understand how frustrating it is. Sometimes I think some people seem to care about appearance too much.

Oh I forgot I wear glasses as well. That instantly puts people off. I've often been told by these vain idiots ''I would be interested in you if you got rid of the glasses''. I wish I had more confidence in real life. I should've told them where to get off. Why do people get put off just because someone wears glasses or has a mole on their cheek or red hair or are just slightly over or under weight?!

I know another 'friend' of mine who only seems to care about money.... that's all that matters to him.

Sometimes I wish there really was a God (or gods even) so one of them could just slam these bitches right down to hell.

Nothing's wrong with wanting to be successful but when you seem to value money, worldly possessions, etc above all else then you need to re-evaluate your life.

It's not so much in issue in working class small towns but when you go to big cities like London or Paris its just like being in vanity central!

Anyway has anyone else ever had this problem? To be fair maybe our society does place too much emphasis on physical perfection, beauty and wealth. Maybe we should just try to be happy and just stop with the stupid acquisitive behaviour once our needs are met?

I agree with you for the most part. Although I am not active in the gay community at this point, I have been in the past and I have noticed this.

I detest that kind of attitude overall. I'm sure I would be judged. I do not keep up with fashions nor do I care. I am a professional, yes, but I do not worship money (And in fact I live quite simply).

Looks, well, I wouldn't really be attracted to the Latin or Mediterranean men. I do not really find them very attractive. I live in a Hispanic neighborhood and see many Latin men. They are not my type.

And as far as you being a "a thin, pale Scandinavian bloke" that's what I find attractive! I am a skinny German. Not much muscles and very pale.

[Vigilias]

Because we can't all go out and scrape ourselves with an old bit of hoof!

We need a regimen in the bathroom and the wardrobe, we need to set an example to the hets!

Why?

Why indeed!

[Matt]

I couldn't agree more. Because I'm not a piece of arm candy or a plastic and fake twink, I'm in the same boat.

I could rant about this for a longgggg time.

[kidchameleon]

I think it depends where you look to be honest. While I'm sure there are a lot of gay guys out there that fit the description, there's probably just as many - if not more - that don't. My guess is you just don't notice them as much, because they're not so in-your-face about their normality :p

[justbry87]

I was in Provincetown this past July and I've noticed that
as well. I mean I've had an inkling that, that was the case
from previous observation, but never really have had experiences
along those lines till this last summer.

My friends and I aren't rich or wear fancy clothes. We're chill
and we're just regular gay folk. Granted we're a bit alternative,
we dress pretty funky at times, we have tattoo's and my friends
are pretty pierced.

So we were just chilling by the pool talking and having a few
drinks and these group of guys sat to the table next to us.

I mean, they all looked great, from some place in Europe,
had on the fancy bathing suits and pretty much have abs for days.

Anyways, my friends and I were just minding our own business
and one of them walked over and asked, "Excuse me, but are you
guys staying at this hotel, cause the pool is just for guests..".

We all looked at each other and we all gave him a piece of our collective
mind, lol. What a dick move.. We were paying guests at that hotel!

On the other hand though, we met so many lovely people during
our mini-vacation. Maybe it's just those guys being dicks, but still..! lol

Gay comes in so many different spectrums, just because one
'type' seems to be the official mascot for being gay doesn't
mean that we all have to live up to that 'type'.

[Pix]

Gee, who'd ever think men cared about your looks or how much money they make and/or their expensive toys (the difference between men and boys is the price of their toys...)? No straight man is like that! So why are the gay men? :tongue: