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I know I'll look like a very bad person now, but I'm thinking about quitting my boyfriend, who has asthma. When we started to date, he didn't tell me anything about this disease of his. Everything was ok until one day I used some of my perfume and I guess it triggered an attack for him. I thought he was dying, it scared the s_it out of me. I've never felt so scared in my whole life. Later he told me he has asthma and he has had it from the early childhood already. I'm not familiar with any kind of medical things, but I thought that I will not use that perfume anymore, at least not in front of him and he will be fine.
But the thing is that I don't think I can cope with this. I quit smoking for him, because it also triggered his attacks. I realize I'm afraid to be together with him, because I'm scared of his asthma attacks. When we're together, all the time I think that something will happen that will provoke an attack for him. Seriously, I'm an adult man, but when he starts choking in front of me, I start to panic and just want to run away, I feel like I can't help him and he'll die any second. I start to worry even if he just coughs a little. In all other means he's nice and sweet and everything, but this. He doesn't know it bothers me and I think there's no point in telling him, he can't change anything about it.
Yes, I'm know that I'm bad and evil and selfish and acting immature, but I think that we should break up, otherwise I feel like I'll have a phobia or something soon. Should I tell him something or should it be just "it's over and goodbye"?
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Anonymous Wrote:I know I'll look like a very bad person now, but I'm thinking about quitting my boyfriend, who has asthma. When we started to date, he didn't tell me anything about this disease of his. Everything was ok until one day I used some of my perfume and I guess it triggered an attack for him. I thought he was dying, it scared the s_it out of me. I've never felt so scared in my whole life. Later he told me he has asthma and he has had it from the early childhood already. I'm not familiar with any kind of medical things, but I thought that I will not use that perfume anymore, at least not in front of him and he will be fine.
But the thing is that I don't think I can cope with this. I quit smoking for him, because it also triggered his attacks. I realize I'm afraid to be together with him, because I'm scared of his asthma attacks. When we're together, all the time I think that something will happen that will provoke an attack for him. Seriously, I'm an adult man, but when he starts choking in front of me, I start to panic and just want to run away, I feel like I can't help him and he'll die any second. I start to worry even if he just coughs a little. In all other means he's nice and sweet and everything, but this. He doesn't know it bothers me and I think there's no point in telling him, he can't change anything about it.
Yes, I'm know that I'm bad and evil and selfish and acting immature, but I think that we should break up, otherwise I feel like I'll have a phobia or something soon. Should I tell him something or should it be just "it's over and goodbye"?
Breaking up with him will hurt him 1000 times more than an asthma attack, just saying
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Anonymous Wrote:Seriously, I'm an adult man
Then act like it.
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Your boyfriend is a person with a physiological problem that is beyond his control. His asthma attacks scare you? How do you think they make him feel? You do care about him, right? He's a person, not a "make you happy" machine.
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Anonymous Wrote:I know I'll look like a very bad person now, but I'm thinking about quitting my boyfriend, who has asthma. When we started to date, he didn't tell me anything about this disease of his. Everything was ok until one day I used some of my perfume and I guess it triggered an attack for him. I thought he was dying, it scared the s_it out of me. I've never felt so scared in my whole life. Later he told me he has asthma and he has had it from the early childhood already. I'm not familiar with any kind of medical things, but I thought that I will not use that perfume anymore, at least not in front of him and he will be fine.
But the thing is that I don't think I can cope with this. I quit smoking for him, because it also triggered his attacks. I realize I'm afraid to be together with him, because I'm scared of his asthma attacks. When we're together, all the time I think that something will happen that will provoke an attack for him. Seriously, I'm an adult man, but when he starts choking in front of me, I start to panic and just want to run away, I feel like I can't help him and he'll die any second. I start to worry even if he just coughs a little. In all other means he's nice and sweet and everything, but this. He doesn't know it bothers me and I think there's no point in telling him, he can't change anything about it.
Yes, I'm know that I'm bad and evil and selfish and acting immature, but I think that we should break up, otherwise I feel like I'll have a phobia or something soon. Should I tell him something or should it be just "it's over and goodbye"?
I'm glad you're Anonymous, I was thinking how your life would be if one of your future children had it... but I'm not gonna even think about it. I wouldn't want any kids to have such a disgusting father while suffering for something they can't control...
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Posts: 1,725
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Yes, I care about him, but it is very hard to be with him, it's psychologically hard. All the time I have to be careful, I have to think about every little thing I do, whether it could harm him or not. I'm not sure if I'm ready to do it for the rest of my life. Perhaps I'm not the right type of a man he needs.
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People who have had Asthma for many years generally know what will trigger an attack.
Talk to your boyfriend and ask him what things will cause him to have an asthma attack. Then you simply avoid those certain things.
If his asthma flares up frequently, then he needs to have his medicine adjusted or changed. I don't see a reason why the two of you can't have a happy & healthy future together.
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Don't break up with him because he has asthma. Break up with him because YOU can't deal with his asthma. Own it, and tell him. You owe him that much. He should have a partner that can deal if he's in a real emergency. If you just say "it's over and goodbye", then you really are a douche.
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Anonymous Wrote:Yes, I care about him, but it is very hard to be with him, it's psychologically hard. All the time I have to be careful, I have to think about every little thing I do, whether it could harm him or not. I'm not sure if I'm ready to do it for the rest of my life. Perhaps I'm not the right type of a man he needs.
I think you are weak u.u
Also I think you're not the right type of man for him. Get it over with but make sure he knows it's cos you are weak and can't deal wif his asthma.
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