Be Happy being single, then you'll meet someone...

[Woollyhats]

This is so bitter and horrifying.

The honest to goodness truth is that you enter your relationship with the person you already are. If you're a happy person you'll bring happiness to that relationship. If your depressed you'll bring depression.

And honestly very few people who aren't as depressed and wanting a relationship are going to want to be with you --- and you won't even notice them ---- you want someone that looks happy --- and a happy person isn't going to want someone that brings them down.

This thread's header is actually a great idea. Because being happy alone sets the table for a healthy relationship. Plus, if that relationship turns unhealthy, it gives you the strength to make the healthy choices you need to make.

[Joshular]

And dont forget the number of gay men who are shallow and only seek their next conquest before moving on.... That dilutes the pool even further

If you don't succeed at first try and try again.

[Pix]

What I don't get is how you can say no one cares about you just because they don't have sex with you (which has nothing at all to do with caring, btw, that's a separate facet) or marry you. Friends at least should mean something (and they might be able to help if you didn't just push them away because they can't "be everything, including a lover" which all too many people do and I'm thinking you do it, too, and/or can't tell the difference between "friend" and "acquaintance"). Pets are wonderful for companionship, too.

But it's true I haven't been single my entire life (though I've known people who have been single up into their elderly years and are content, even happy with it along with their relatives, friends, and/or pets). I've been harassed for much of it and under more pressure than I like. But I know one thing: people who get too desperate drive people who'd enter a relationship with you away (though it will attract "players" or worse who will exploit it that you're better off without). If you want a meaningful relationship then you need to have other passions (at least interests)...and those passions, at least if you're mixing with other people, just might provide you what you're longing for (for better and worse) as long as you don't cling. I know I'm not alone on this, many complain about pushing away or dropping someone for being too clingy, smothering, and/or desperate.

[Joshular]

What I don't get is how you can say no one cares about you just because they don't have sex with you (which has nothing at all to do with caring, btw, that's a separate facet) or marry you. Friends at least should mean something (and they might be able to help if you didn't just push them away because they can't "be everything, including a lover" which all too many people do and I'm thinking you do it, too, and/or can't tell the difference between "friend" and "acquaintance"). Pets are wonderful for companionship, too.

But it's true I haven't been single my entire life (though I've known people who have been single up into their elderly years and are content, even happy with it along with their relatives, friends, and/or pets). I've been harassed for much of it and under more pressure than I like. But I know one thing: people who get too desperate drive people who'd enter a relationship with you away (though it will attract "players" or worse who will exploit it that you're better off without). If you want a meaningful relationship then you need to have other passions (at least interests)...and those passions, at least if you're mixing with other people, just might provide you what you're longing for (for better and worse) as long as you don't cling. I know I'm not alone on this, many complain about pushing away or dropping someone for being too clingy, smothering, and/or desperate.

I don't recall anon sayin anything about people not wanting to have sex with them. Try not to put word in others mouths plz.
Anon is just trying to be gay in a not very gay place by the sounds of things to me. I also try to be gay in a not very gay place as I've none gay friend in my home town (more of my own doing tho)

[Joshular]

And dont forget the number of gay men who are shallow and only seek their next conquest before moving on.... That dilutes the pool even further

I know what you mean. I'm shallow to a point. Looks count a large amount for me. But it's not all that. There needs to be more than just looks to spark something with me. And maybe if I get to know someone they'll become attractive over time to me threw personality.

[Pix]

I don't recall anon sayin anything about people not wanting to have sex with them.

Yep, he did:

Try never having anyone show interest in you your whole life. Never getting a taste of someone caring about you outside of family, or wanting to get closer to you. Looking in the mirror, and at first seeing nothing wrong with you. Years go by, and still nothing, and then the little things start to stand out, until you feel hideous. Now your self esteem is in the dumps, because you feel ugly regardless of what you do, so why do anything?

Single life is fine, as long as you know what you could have, but choose not to have for a while

The guy isn't complaining about no one caring, though he says no one cares or has any interest, he's complaining about being single which in his mind means no one cares or can be meaningful to him. BIG difference, and quite a telling one, IMO.

Lots of people like that, too. Given how late it is I'll spare you my rant on people who have to have everything or they feel they have absolutely nothing and who reject people as unimportant because they're "only friends."

[Joshular]

I still don't see anything about SEX here just someone who'd very much like intimacy and love in their life.

Never getting a taste of someone caring about you outside of family, or wanting to get closer to you.

But obviously you are right. He's not compiling about anyone caring -.-'

[dfiant1]

*carries a fencing sword*

TOUCHE....

[Matt]

Are we all trying to be heteronormative again?

BA...this may be right up your alley...any studies out there on gay LTR vs straight LTR? Length on average etc?

I'm on my phone otherwise I'd rant.

[Joshular]

Question to teh gayspeakers posting in this thread.

Do you empathy?
Can you imagine what'd be like to be this anon?
What advice would be beneficial to this anon?
keep it constructive.