Kumawool Wrote:This is so bitter and horrifying.
The honest to goodness truth is that you enter your relationship with the person you already are. If you're a happy person you'll bring happiness to that relationship. If your depressed you'll bring depression.
And honestly very few people who aren't as depressed and wanting a relationship are going to want to be with you --- and you won't even notice them ---- you want someone that looks happy --- and a happy person isn't going to want someone that brings them down.
This thread's header is actually a great idea. Because being happy alone sets the table for a healthy relationship. Plus, if that relationship turns unhealthy, it gives you the strength to make the healthy choices you need to make.
I posted previously agreeing with anonymous on how crappy it feels to be alone constantly. I will grant myself the freedom to speak in mine and his behalf, taking from what he replied to me.
We're not talking about being alone inbewteen or during guys. If I read correctly anonymous has never had a relationship and has been alone 17 years. I can say the same except for me it has been 13 years since I first liked someone...
He has many of my same problems...we're practically no one's type, we are more or less social recluses, which obviously doesn't help. I for one am completely different from how anyone my age range is...in likes, dislikes, behavior, etc.
Personally, being a closeted bastard is DETRIMENTAL, most certainly, but the way people in general have behaved towards me over the yearshas made it very clear that If I was straight I would have the exact same problem..
Yes it is bitter and horrifying, that's exactly the point that people like anonymous and myself make...It's not like we like it, Mr! Saying that is not exactly helpful.
It's a vicious circle, the more alone you are the more bitter you get, the more desperate you get and then off course you become less and less appealing.
In that regard you make a very good and very true statement: unless you start liking yourself you can't expect people to like you, so, yes, being depressed, desperate and bitter will not be appealing to anyone.
Other folks also make a good point in saying that relationships can go horribly wrong and become the source of pain too..alas, we haven't had the pleasure of even having a relationship to begin with, so right now, all we can think of is how years of continuous loneliness have eroded whatever self-esteem we had.
Joshular Wrote:Well then love people. Try putting yourself out there.
Now there's someone trying to be helpful...
Yes, Josh, indeed, difficult as it maybe for some of us...yes, at some point people in our situation need to step out and take the risk...
Anyway, I'm sorry again anonymous, for my own rant...I'm trying to put perspective into some people's head...not trying to start a fight or anything..
Just know, that you're not alone in this whole being alone business..poor comfort as it may be