Share your thoughts

[nm1012]

I am a closeted gay guy, and I've never had a relationship or even dated either men or women since I've been too focused on school and other priorities. Now I want to have a genuine relationship with a guy to see how I feel and if that's what I want before coming out.

There's a guy I've known for 6 years. He has dated a couple girls and is dating one now, but all my friends and I are convinced he is gay. All his friends are girls, and all his girlfriends broke up with him (but they all remain good friends…. He's very similar to myself, and I'm about 95% sure I'm correct. We often playfully flirt with each other without either of us making a move. Sometimes I get very frustrated with him (as he's quite lazy and can be annoying), but other times I just want to make out and sleep with him so badly. Even though he has a girlfriend now, I really want to make a move but don't know how to go about it. I was his coach in soccer for 2 years, so we don't talk much about personal stuff since I'm like his superior (except I am only 2 years older than him, so a relationship is completely doable). However, again, we definitely flirt without admitting that we are to each other.

Any thoughts on what I should do?

[nu2this]

I would be patient, randomly finding a way to talk to him, (like friends), gotta be cautious though, either 1 or the other can happen, acceptance or rejection (as far as having a romantic affair), Maybe talk to his exes in a roundabout way, might help you getting alil more info, but walk lightly k

[southbiochem]

If you are really sure of this, try to get him to hang out with you alone, get to knoe him and if you're sure he won't get aggressive, say you like him and see what happens

don't do it while he's dating, though, that's never cool

[nu2this]

If you are really sure of this, try to get him to hang out with you alone, get to knoe him and if you're sure he won't get aggressive, say you like him and see what happens

don't do it while he's dating, though, that's never cool

Yep, have to be patient and real cautious huh

[nm1012]

I agree with both of you. I can't do anything while he's dating this girl. Their relationship confuses me; I've been friends with her for a while, and I think she knows he's gay but just won't admit it to herself cause she's desperate for a decent guy…

I like the idea of talking to his ex-girlfriends, except I don't think they have any idea who I am haha. I think I will see how his relationship with this girl goes; if and when they break up, I'll talk to the girl and I'm sure she'll give me the low down.

But I hate this waiting! I can almost guarantee that he would prefer to be with a man than her - why can't we just be together?? Agh.

[MisterTinkles]

You got to figure out who you are, and what you want out of life before you drag someone else into it.

If you dont, then nothing will ever last. You have to know you, inside and out, and you have to come to terms with yourself, your mind, and your feelings.

Getting involved with anyone will just screw things up more than they will help, until you can figure out who you are as a person.

[Joshular]

I think you need to figure out who you are before you relationship. You already know you are gay. I think you should come out to see who society thinks you are. Usually people are shaped differently after they come out. I know I changed. I was hiding a lot of who I was in the closet.

Before you start anything you need to finish figuring out who you are. Being secretive about it someone will get hurt if you enter into a secret relationship that turns sour.

Anyway good luck.

~Joshular :3

[nm1012]

Thanks everyone.

I just don't feel comfortable yet revealing myself. Although they have no feelings against them, my friends and family constantly talk differently about gay people. My family always talk to me about marrying a woman and having kids. Even though they would accept me in person, I know everyone would look at me differently. It's hard to explain, and I understand most of you have been through this. But I don't feel comfortable with coming out yet…but at the same time, I want to explore more with a guy.