This Guy....This Situation....Your Thoughts...

[jiffy2014]

I really like this guy. He knows i like him. I've openly bisexual our whole friendship. 8 years.

Last year we started fooling around. He started begging me for oral, and it took ages to finally happen. Over the course of 2013, it has happened about 8/9 times. We cuddle. We spoon. I am always the big spoon. He receives erections when we are cuddling and he always lets my hands wander. He has had on and off relationships and even asked me once "Am i bi?" and that he only does stuff with me. He has said that "I make him feel good about himself"

December 2013, we have a full 45 minute chat on the phone and he says he is going to stay single. Then he gets a girlfriend. So i decided to up the anti and start flirting with him over BBM and the phone....He started talking to me whilst having a wank haha...

One week later, he is back on my bed, spooning, and getting aroused. She said "Have fun at your friends" and he winked at me Nothing happened, but i made him hard and he let me put my hand in jeans.

Today, he asked me and our friend from Aus about proposing to girls.....I'm paranoid. He has only been dating this girl 2 weeks. Then us 3 were joking in a conversation and it was late, but he totally dismissed my flirting and asked our friend from Aus "Would she F him if he came to visit"

I feel like my advice is ignored. I feel like he does not care about his girlfriend. I am so confused. I really like him and i wanna be his friend in the future but all this does become to much.

People tell me its a classic tale of two guys who like each other but one cannot admit that to himself. Agree?

HELP? Question me if you don't understand.
PS
We don't just drop our pants
He has done stuff to me and its normal occurs from just cuddling.

[southbiochem]

At the very least he has some bi in him,

(a lot of straight guys would enjoy oral from gay dudes, but cuddling and gettin aroused...that's a whole other thing)

He most likely has a hard time admiting it to himself, and most importantly he doesn't want to let it show to your other aquaitances, as he allows you to grope him, cuddles with you, but totally dismisses you when you are with other friends..

the fact that he seeks sex with girls he doesn't even know is yet another proff of this..

I would suggest having a small talk when he seems vulnerable to the subject..that is when you too are cuddling....if he says he likes you, you can go from there..if he denies it, if he gets upset (which is my guess as to what will happen)...then you need to back off and find somenone else who will like you back and who won't have a problem admiting it..

the biggest problem with people like him is they're not bad people but they can turn into raging and even violent a**holes if they sense that this thing they're trying to hide is being forced in the open

best of lucks with him, and I hope you can at least maintain a friendship

[MisterTinkles]

Without knowing anything about this guy, I would say one of three things is happening--

1. He's still trying to decide whether he is "one way or the other", he is not sure which he prefers, male or female. And he doesnt realize how he is acting is affecting you.

2. He's playing games with you, to see what you will do and say. He may be "testing" you to see if you will stand up and tell him to stop seeing girls, and how you feel about him. He might not feel he is able to express this to you in words, so he's doing these things to "get a rise out of you".

3. You are just a "plaything" and he has never had any intentions of getting serious with you. He may think you are ok, but he doesnt really "like" you that way. You've been friends and thats all he see's you as, a friend (with benefits?).

The best way to find out whats going on, is to talk to him. If you dont ask, you will never know.
Depending on his response, you will then know what his real intentions are. You've supposedly been friends for 8 years, you should know how to talk to each other by now.

[Lycanthropist]

3. You are just a "plaything" and he has never had any intentions of getting serious with you. He may think you are ok, but he doesnt really "like" you that way. You've been friends and thats all he see's you as, a friend (with benefits?).

Mistertinkles' number 3 for the win. I have an acquaintance like this. Will do anything in private with a guy, but in public and in front of his family he is totally 'heterosexual' bordering on homophobic.

To the OP, take the relationship for what it is because I don't think your friend will ever have a real honest monogamous relationship with you. Enjoy playing around, but keep your emotions in check lest they turn you in to a weeping wreck. Good luck.

[Woollyhats]

He's obviously bisexual, but perhaps only heteoromantic. That is to say, he will have physical pleasure from you, but not be interested in a relationship.

I also suspect he is playing you, and may even be getting some sort of fix from hurting you. I'm not sure why, perhaps he wants to see how serious you are, or because you're just a play thing for him (and really, that's what you've been as of yet..), because why else would he talk about proposing in front of you? He knows this is going to hurt you, but doesn't care.

And I think this trend probably extends to most of his relationships. For example, he's essentially dating you (secretly), and his girlfriend at the same time, which leans towards suggesting he doesn't care about either of you. So no, he doesn't care about his girlfriend. He doesn't care about you either though.

Why do you even want to date someone like this???

You need to extract yourself from this relationship, and it's going to hurt for a good while. It might even physically hurt, but you'll be better in the long run for it. Find someone that will actually love you back.

[Beau]

Playing with his dick will not make him love you. It sounds like you are just friends with benefits.

Be happy you are friends and reconsider whether having sex with him is a good thing or bad in your situation. You may be destined to get hurt since it seems you have feelings for him, but he doesn't have anything more than friendship for you.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

This isn't going to end well.

[Sylph]

This isn't going to end well.

I agree. From every angle, there seems to be a dead end.

I wouldn't even continue to entertain this any more. Too many complications, not many solutions. At least not easy ones or ones that he seems willing to go with.

I'd say your King is in Check and you have two moves before Checkmate.