Question from a straight guy

[Woollyhats]

Well you're right.

Heterosexual = Attraction to opposite sex only.
Bisexual = attraction to both sexes (You can still like one sex more).
Homosexual = attraction to one sex only.

There was an argument I saw recently on my facebook, and I've copied and pasted the girl's response to "I'll not vote for queers in my lifetime". She wrote, "Jason, If you consider that LGBT people are just people and that this is not a new phenomenon, but these people may have existed as long as man has walked the earth, I don't understand why we should treat them like lower-class citizens. They can pay taxes like everyone else, why would they not deserve the same access to everything, including our respect for their choice (if it is even a choice, but I won't go there). I think they need society to rethink and realize that they deserve to be treated equally."

As you can see, the idea of 'no choice' begins to be a primitive argument in 2014. Suppose I have a choice to wake up straight, but choose to instead stay in the relationship I am in? I would expect for that to be okay, as would anyone when choosing to stay with their significant other.

Here are some videos that also illustrate some interesting concepts,

This is a dramatizaton of what it would be like if people treated heteosexuality like homosexuality,


An antihomophobia message from the UN,


An organization trying to change perceptions around the world,
https://allout.org/en


Also, realize that homophobia is everyone's battle. Statically speaking, you have a gay friend. You may not know said friend is gay. You undoubtedly have some friends with attractions for both genders, but that maintain an opposite gender dating style. Standing up to homophobia is standing up for both of these friends as well. Also, note that if you were suddenly tansformed into a gay person, the guy you're debating with would defriend you. Are you really even friends?

Also, for trivia purposes, note that believing homosexuality to be a choice indicates total ignorance on a topic. When we have ignorance on a topic we try to relate to it through our personal experiences.

Noting this, the belief that homosexuality is a choice possibly indicates that your friend has an interest in both genders and vehemently chooses the opposite sex. This correlates with studies that show a correlation between intensely homophobic men and same sex attraction.

Good luck with debate.

[East]

I would use sarcasm because they are most likely not going to pay any attention to anything you say anyway....

You could say something like "I wish it were a choice because if it was I would choose it in a heartbeat but alas...I am straight an thee is nothing I can do about it"

[MisterTinkles]

Bigots is, as bigots are.....you will never change their small, already set minds....not even with a sledgehammer.

But if you need some "ammo" for this situation, do it the Mister Tinkles way....

Tell the dumbshit he's got it backwards....

Everybody is born gay, they just CHOOSE to be straight.

[Myklavashi]

His views, like far too many right wing nutbars

Just give it up mate. I know you want to get a point across to this Teabagger, but like he doesn't want you to get your point across. He sleeps better at night knowing there's conflict. They enjoy conflict, and it's like an illness that they enjoy.

My grandfather is a bigot, sexist, baptist, teabagging Fox News worshiper. Take my word for it.

For people making an argument against stereotyping and being bigoted, there sure is enough bigotry going on here. I guess bigotry is only right when YOU are the one being the bigot.

As a gay person, who occasionally watches Fox News, and is a member of the TEA Party; I find your depiction of Tea Partyers as ridiculous as that gentleman's opinion about homosexuality is.

Just to be clear, I am not a Republican, I just don't trust either side fully and both have valid arguments for different causes.

[Undreamt]

He says it's the choice to live as a homosexual that makes one gay.

I find that statement hilarious, that only assumes camp people are the only gay people.

Do you know how I found out I was gay?

My girlfriend of 2 years told me.

[BYoNexus]

I chose to be out, because when i was young, I chose to NOT be gay... Even though I knew beyond a doubt that I was.

That messed me up.. alot through high school and beyond, and almost led to suicide. One cannot simply choose not to be themself. Its hard work and destroys peoples lives, unless they are unlucky enough to be able to lie to themselves and live with it.

Its frustrating that so many people can't see their own bigotry. I was watching a video recently of a woman in the UK speaking against the same-sex marriage issue there. She began by saying no one is against the homosexual lifestyle, then later said that acts of homosexuality should be criminal, without missing a beat...

[nfisher1226]

As a few others have stated similarly, I was gay when I was younger but chose to live a heterosexual life. The heterosexual life was the lie. I was never straight.

And yes, I chose to act on my feelings in the end. I could have gone on trying to be straight, possibly even for the rest of my life. Instead I chose to pursue my own happiness, which is enshrined as one of the most basic principles of our society in the USA.

What I could not ever choose, no matter what, was to only ever be attracted to women and never think about being with a man. I never had that choice, period. I tried, over and over again, in multiple different ways, without any success. I started trying to be straight as soon as I knew what it meant, because I knew that's what I was supposed to be and knew equally well that I wasn't straight. I almost had myself convinced a few times even, but that never lasted.

As for the argument, eventually you have to say "fuck it" and move on because that guy probably isn't changing his opinion any time soon. See, he's made a conscious decision to believe that being gay is a choice, and he's backing it up by consciously choosing to ignore all of the evidence that he's wrong, and all of the gay people saying they didn't choose to be gay. He's actively, probably desperately, holding onto the idea because like a lot of other people he doesn't want to confront the notion that the bible might not be the literal word of god. Okay, so that's specualtion, but the rest isn't. He's latched onto the idea that it's a choice, and he's not letting go no matter how much logic shows otherwise.

[Bravo]

Honestly? Not a single clue.

I was into girls when I was a kid, and had never looked at boys differently. I can't remember having any interests on a dude before puberty. And I'm still unsure about my sexuality because even though I feel attracted to guys, the friend I posted about this week is my very first male crush. Who knows, maybe I'm just curious and I just didn't realize it yet.

[princealbertofb]

Fire, it's lovely to have you around, and I'm glad you haven't been brainwashed into thinking that it's a choice.... to GaySpeak. In a world where being gay is seen as a possible option, it will come to any teenager, maybe even before, that he'd prefer to project himself or she'd prefer to project herself into a same sex relationship. In worlds where this option is negated by law, by society and all sorts of other armoured vaults, it will be more difficult for a person to realise what their heart inclinations and sexual orientation are. What seems to happen mostly is that there comes a time when living the lie is no longer possible. For some, it is possible long term, but often it's not through choice of a lifestyle that would make them happier and let them thrive, it's through choosing to live the lie of a straight life, unfortunately.
It is also unfortunate that straight people (some of them, at least) feel so vulnerable that they think they will become gay when in fact, there's no chance that they would ever be. They might, if freer in mind, be moved to indulge in a bit of bisexuality, to see what they're missing, and then decide that they are straight after all.
As a metaphor, I would ask these straight (conservative) people if they would work better using the right tools or if they would work better using the wrong tools, or tools that are faulty or blunt, or no tools at all.
What do you think they would answer?

To me, being able to live my gay sexual orientation and have a same sex partner that keeps me happy and fulfilled, and whom I keep happy and fulfilled is the best answer to making me a better fully-functional citizen. The tools I need for this to be are laws that don't impair me, laws that give me equality with my fellow citizens whatever their dreams and sexual orientation. It's also working in an environment that doesn't thwart and repress my creativity and energies.

Contrary to drugs, or alcohol or tobacco which have to be fed to us first and then nurtured as habits, your physical yearnings for someone of the same sex are more or less deeply ingrained. It doesn't take a first boy/girl-friend or same-sex fling to start a habit. It's more like having to take that first breathe when you come out of your mother's womb to be able to stay alive. It's inevitable, it's necessary, it's vital. No person in their right mind would deprive a newborn baby of oxygen.