problem

[joseph]

hello
i will tell you about my problem it is very very complicated so i am seeing if you can help. i am 23 years old. i am gay. but no one now i am gay. i live with my mum and 1 of my sister. i wont to tell them i am gay . i wont to meet gay people and maybe have a boyfreind. but i cant do that. it is becase i cant go to places were the is gay peple becase i dont know were it is and i can only go hard places when i am with my support worker. i cant go on my own. but the support worker not take me them places becase them not new i was gay. so i have to tell the worker or i cant go. but it is scary to tell them becaus incase they tell my family or say they cant take me to them places. my family is nice but they often not let me do things an i think they will say i cant be gay or they not belive me. i need them help me but i am scared of they migth not help or say i am wrong. i am sad becase i just want to be gay propely like going out and get boyfrind but i cant.

[princealbertofb]

hello
i will tell you about my problem it is very very complicated so i am seeing if you can help. i am 23 years old. i am gay. but no one now i am gay. i live with my mum and 1 of my sister. i wont to tell them i am gay . i wont to meet gay people and maybe have a boyfreind. but i cant do that. it is becase i cant go to places were the is gay peple becase i dont know were it is and i can only go hard places when i am with my support worker. i cant go on my own. but the support worker not take me them places becase them not new i was gay. so i have to tell the worker or i cant go. but it is scary to tell them becaus incase they tell my family or say they cant take me to them places. my family is nice but they often not let me do things an i think they will say i cant be gay or they not belive me. i need them help me but i am scared of they migth not help or say i am wrong. i am sad becase i just want to be gay propely like going out and get boyfrind but i cant.

You know, Joseph, a lot of us here have thought, like you, that we couldn't tell people about us being gay... So we have put things on hold for a long time before finding the courage to tell someone. Sometimes it is good to practise coming out with someone who is friendly. What people might ask is how you know you are gay, because they might not believe you. So I think you can practise those answers with us... What exactly makes you think you are gay? Is it something about the fantasies you have? Is it something about how you are repulsed by women but not by men? What makes you think you are gay? If you can tell us, then maybe you can also tell your family, or your support worker. Let's try to help you to come out first, and then, you will see if someone can take you to those places that you mentioned. Star Twister, I think, suggested finding a gay group, and I think there must be some in the Newcastle area (we could ask Hyde and Gay etc... if they know of any addresses or phone numbers that you can reach).

[Hyde]

There is a group for people under the age of 25 (youngest member is 14 I think) that meet at the old Doctor offices across the road from Gateshead bus station/near the taxi rank. The group is called PLus and everyone is extremely friendly. If you have difficulty leaving the house then perhaps you could contact them via MySpace and perhaps arrange for one of the leader members (a support woman, I forgot her name but she's really nice. She did a chat at my college a few months back). They meet every Tuesday at 6pm and they're a pretty cool bunch, I went a few times but got freaked out when one of the other members asked me if I fancied a blow job in the toilets the following tuesday o_O.

MySpace.com - Plus Group - 18 - Male - Gateshead, UK - www.myspace.com/plusgroup is their MySpace link.

Also, your Support Worker, if you do decide to tell him/her that you're gay, they HAVE to keep it confidential

[joseph]

hello yes i think i can practice saying it. i nown i am gay becase i didnt even now until not very long a go what gay means but i new i am it anyway!! becuas when i was thinking i wonted to have a husband not a wife when i am older. an somtimes i like thinking of men. one time ther is a man who work at summer school i gon to when it was 4 years a go there was a man i relly in love with an i fond out he got girlfrind and i was sad and wished he was my boyfrined so i nown. one time i done sex and relatonships at collage and them said about gay peopel so i heared about it an i new it what i was. everone else in my class lauhfed when they say about gay peple and think its funny an bad but i relised it was like me. thank you for telling me about the group also.

[Star Twister]

There is a group for people under the age of 25 (youngest member is 14 I think) that meet at the old Doctor offices across the road from Gateshead bus station/near the taxi rank. The group is called PLus and everyone is extremely friendly. If you have difficulty leaving the house then perhaps you could contact them via MySpace and perhaps arrange for one of the leader members (a support woman, I forgot her name but she's really nice. She did a chat at my college a few months back). They meet every Tuesday at 6pm and they're a pretty cool bunch, I went a few times but got freaked out when one of the other members asked me if I fancied a blow job in the toilets the following tuesday o_O.

[URL="http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=296216636"]MySpace.com - Plus Group - 18 - Male - Gateshead, UK - www.myspace.com/plusgroup
[/URL] is their MySpace link.

Also, your Support Worker, if you do decide to tell him/her that you're gay, they HAVE to keep it confidential

There you go Joseph, some excellent advice, (funny bit about the blow job though)


I thought that as well, but wasn't sure and didn't like to give wrong advice

[joseph]

thank you very much i am happy they cant tell anyone!! that group sound nice thank you but i hope that man dosent say about blow job again:redface: !! that is bad that happend to you:frown:

[joseph]

You know, Joseph, a lot of us here have thought, like you, that we couldn't tell people about us being gay... So we have put things on hold for a long time before finding the courage to tell someone. Sometimes it is good to practise coming out with someone who is friendly. What people might ask is how you know you are gay, because they might not believe you. So I think you can practise those answers with us... What exactly makes you think you are gay? Is it something about the fantasies you have? Is it something about how you are repulsed by women but not by men? What makes your think you are gay? If you can tell us, then maybe you can also tell your family, or your support worker. Let's try to help you to come out first, and then, you will see if someone can take you to those places that you mentioned. Star Twister, I think, suggested finding a gay group, and I think there must be some in the Newcastle area (we could ask Hyde and Gay etc... if they know of any addresses or phone numbers that you can reach).

how i now i am gay is becase i nown before i even heared of being gay. no one told me what is was until i was nealy a adult so i didnt now. but i relised i wont a husband not a wife an somtimes i like thinking about men. one time when there was a man who work at summer school i gone to i realy loved him and then he had a girlfreind and i was sad becaus i wanted him be my boyfrind. so i no.nin my class they told us about relatonships and gay peopel an everone in the class lauhg and thinkm it is funny and bad but i now when i heared it it was like me.

[fjp999]

Hi joseph,

I cant quite understand your disabilities and how strong you must be to come out with such issues. I just hope that all your dreams come true and you continue to be strong and live as full a life as possible.

I wasnt born with any disabilities. I dont know if your disabilities are from birth??? But I am currently suffering from a medically induced disability for the past five years. Some of my disabilities are physical and some are mental. I live in America but am guessing that many of the services I have may be available to you???

I have a patient advocate. She comes every month to make sure that I am being taken care of by my docs, state programs, etc. Her job is to know of programs that are available for me and make sure that applications are submitted etc. Do you have a patient advocate? Is this type of advocate available to you?

I also have a psychiatrist and a therapist. The therapist is the person who suggested and applied for the patient advocate. Sometimes people are nervous about psychiatry or therapy but there is a lot more than being prescribed medicine. Maybe there is a service of psychiatry/therapy for gay people in your community. That group Hyde linked you to may be able to help with such a service.

I too have transportation problems and my therapist told me about the medical transport program. One part is to take me to doctor appointments and then there is the other side that takes me to any location I need to go to. For the personal transport there is a very small charge - like $0.50 per ride. Maybe you have a program like that in your area. Then you wont need to rely on your assistant and may feel more at ease and more independent.

Hyde is right about your assistant. In USA they cant give information about your personal life to anyone. In the USA they would lose their job and maybe go to prison. Patient privacy is very serious here.

I see that you wrote about school. Do you go to uni? There may be some special groups for gays or even disabled people at uni... even if you arent a student at a uni some of those groups could be open to your age group.

let us know if there is anything we can do for you.

frank

[Dan1089]

Hey Joseph I wish I could give you good advice but I'm useless at such things!What I noticed though was your strong desire to have a boyfriend.Why do you need one so badly,to validate your homosexuality perhaps?Or to provide good companionship.Do you have good friends?Sorry for the 21 questions buddy.

[Hyde]

There you go Joseph, some excellent advice, (funny bit about the blow job though)


I thought that as well, but wasn't sure and didn't like to give wrong advice

Aslong as what you tell them isn't a threaten to your/someone elses life or against the law, they have to keep it shush!