Is my roommate straight, gay or just crazy?

[Anonymous]

I'm straight, gay friendly guy. I'm a student and I'm sharing a flat with another guy. When I moved in, I understood immediately that we won't be friends. I don't know what I did that made him not like me so much. He always started quarrels without any reason, he was always yelling at me. We were arguing all the time and I didn't even want to come home from school, because I knew he would again blame me for everything. He was coming home with girls and spent time with them in his room. I know I could search for another flat share, but that's not so easy and this one has very low rent. So I decided to just endure him somehow.

But some time ago something very strange happened that actually scared me. It was night and I was sleeping and suddenly I was awoken by somebody touching me. He was in my room, in my bed, he was hugging and kissing me, begging for me not to push him away, to let him do this. He said that he can't stand this anymore and so on. I pushed him away and kicked him out of my room, but I have to admit I was scared too. Now I don't talk with him at all, although he wants to talk. I come home as late as I can. I'm afraid to fall asleep now, because I don't know what might happen and I can't lock my door. One day I found a note on my pillow saying " I need you". I'm shivering every time I remember how he kissed me.

What's the matter with him? Why girls if he's into guys? Some time ago he hated me, hated me so badly that couldn't even stand my presence. Now he acts like he would love me. Is he nuts?

[southbiochem]

Most likely nuts...or drunk half the time..(he was probably that night)

whatever reason he may have to approach you like this, closeted gay, crazy bi, whatever, does it matter?

you are straight, no?......

you can go to the authorities and get a restraining order or something of the sort...he sounds the stalker type to me

[Anonymous]

Yes, I'm straight, but I live together with him, so it does matter.

And no, he wasn't drunk. Not that night, not ever. He's doing many kinds of sports and don't use alcohol at all.

[Woollyhats]

He's obviously into guys to some extent to have done that --- unless it's a sociopathic prank. While I have heard of 'straight' room mates falling in love before, the circumstances involved were quite a bit different than this --- namely the middle of the night molestation.

Basically you have two real options here...

Less recommended,
You can confront him directly and tell him that going into your room at night isn't acceptable, a repeat will result in you going straight to the police and moving out immediately. If there's a lease you'll be dealing with his lawyer thank you very much . Ask if he understands, say that you can still be on good terms as room-mates if it doens't happen again. Evaluate response. RECORD THIS CONVERSATION FOR EVIDENCE IF NEEDED.

More recommended,
You need to make emergency preparations to move. Can you go with your parens for a short while, do you have any close friends or family members? I'm sure they'd accept "My room mate woke me up in the middle of the night fondling me and tried to rape me, and I am scared." as a reason to why you're moving out temporarily. You may also consider pressing charges but without evidence nothing will happen.

Unless there's any chance at all that you would like this guy at all, you need to move right away. And even if you did like him; what he did is not acceptable for anybody.

[MisterTinkles]

PSYCHO!!!!

RUN, RUN RUN!!!!!

Find someone else to switch flats with, find another one, or if its school related, get the school involved in it to help you find someplace else to live.

You can get devices to hold your door shut if you dont have a lock on it, or back up a chair against your door.

[DungeonDragon]

maybe he really likes you and was just pretending to hate you to get your attention? like in the movies? anyway i totally agree with woollyhats. or better yet talk to him to clarify things face to face.

[Bluelight]

Honestly get the hell out of there, who cares about higher rent? That's pretty bad... sounds like he's either on something or stopped taking his meds.

[Eth21]

That is the stuff of nightmares... I agree with everyone else!! RUN!! Or maybe try and get him removed if possible but then I guess that would be hard with no eveidence...

[Sylph]

He's straight crazy Gay

And what you need to do, is firmly place your boundaries and make them visible from space, because this is unacceptable.

I wouldn't even think about it, if he offers himself upon me and gives me no inclination, aside from "let me do this", as a valid reason for his actions, I would immediately remove myself from the situation.

Draw lines if you will, both in regards to space, but also in actions, because if you can't or feel like you shouldn't move, then make it clear. Hesitation and trying to spare his feelings at this point, would be a waste of time and if anything, a possible sign of complacency on your part.

Bishop to E5

[southbiochem]

Yes, I'm straight, but I live together with him, so it does matter.

And no, he wasn't drunk. Not that night, not ever. He's doing many kinds of sports and don't use alcohol at all.

*sigh* I was hoping the he would have the excuse of alcohol...


ok, then, he has feeling he manages very very poorly...guys like this are dangerous....ask for a change, have him removed, set up a camera recording what he does and then denounce him for sexual harrasement..