So, for a number of years I've had a serious attraction to my male cousin (that I've kept to myself). Growing up I felt something was wrong with me because of it. He and I grew up together and have remained close and are both now in our mid 20's. He'll be married this year to a great girl.
Well shortly after we moved in together my cousin (who is straight) would make little gestures towards me like if he's walking around the house in his underwear and if his penis fall out of his boxers he'll rub it on me, he'll grab my ass, grab me between my legs, or wrestle me to the ground for whatever reason he sees fit. His reasons behind this are usually "I'm the alpha male" or "they (my balls) belong to him."
Well this has been going on for a long ass time, and the other day while I was using the bath room he came in in his underwear and a shit. I commented on the fact that his underwear were comming apart (due to his bluge) and he proceded to pull his balls out and we end up having a discussion about his "package."
Well at this point I get a good feel and we start talking about sex. So for 20 or so minutes we talk about some girl he wants to bang while the entire time Im feeling his goods. I actually tried to see if I could give him an erection by touching him (he didn't get one). I didn't attempt to give him oral or anything, but did ask him to close his eyes during.
I guess my curiosity got the best of me.
He knows that I'm gay and he's felt me up many times so I suppose I didn't see any problem with this. Afterward, my cousin is distant and feels that I've done something wrong. I'm confused for obvious reasons and don't know how to feel. Please someone! I'm usually good at thinking things through, but I'm stuck on this one.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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[COLOR="Blue"]Sis, I'm gonna only assume, whether or not I make an ass out my self, that you're from a tougher/more hard area in Atlanta?
Now normally I wouldn't incorporate race into things like this, but it strikes me as a racial thing, as in the black community, gays are typically less likely to just be out with it as you may be.
All the gays I know here(who are yes, black and not many in number), are typically guys who are "Alpha Males", probably due to our ways and ideals of what a "man" is in the black culture and in regards to religion and all that bullshit :\
So it doesn't overly surprise me that he would be this way, but the fact that he's straight or supposedly is, is alittle odd and he's obviously not as straight as you think, if he's allowing you to grab up his balls and stuff.
And besides the whole cousin factor thing, which personally I have no problem with but would never do, he's also in a relationship so you say. Whether it's to cover up any homosexual feelings or whatever, point being he's still in a relationship and until he's over and done with that, then I don't think it's okay for him or you to endorse his actions just because you like him.
I think rather than him making you feel someway with his overtly intimate actions, you need to sit him down and ask what the fuck is going on with him. Cause if you're close enough to be playing Doctor with each other, then you should be able to ask him about this. Not to mention you said he knows your gay and seems okay with that, so it's not like you're at any fault anyway, except for maybe confusing him alittle.
I would talk it out with him.[/COLOR]
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My own male cousin (I'm female) liked to "establish dominance" (not that I let him) when we were younger (as in your age) but he never was sexual about it (and he's straight). My dad also liked to walk around in his underwear (and first time I remember seeing that was a shock at the size of his package, not that he was hard, granted I was about 5 so everything seemed bigger, after that I learned to avert my eyes) and he never said or did anything erotic around me at the time. I have no idea if guys are different among themselves in say the locker room and such, after all they always seem to be sharing about every erotic urge they have online and I can't help but notice how obsessed so many jocks are with slapping each others butts even in public, but going by my personal experience (male-female dynamic) I think he is attracted to you, and his attraction could be freaking him out. I also didn't think guys shared bathrooms (they tend to make fun of girls for going together).
Keep in mind that Georgia is a state that has banned gay marriage but does allow first cousins to marry with full recognition as well as allow sexual cohabitation. It's more likely that you're a guy and it's turning him on that's bothering him more than it being you're his cousin.
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Ooooo, 'kissin cousins' from Atlanta....
I think Im gonna stay away from this subject.
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MisterTinkles Wrote:Ooooo, 'kissin cousins' from Atlanta....
I think Im gonna stay away from this subject.
Yeah, cause judgement is really not cute Tinkles bitch  . No biases 
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It's normal for guys to walk around in their underwear... thought what your cousin has done isn't especially normal. I would recommend staying away from him honestly --- it is not completely uncommon, albeit highly uncomfortable, to be attracted to cousins, especially ones that you meet as adults and haven't grown up with, but simply because of the way family dynamics works it would be very complicated to enter into a sexual or actual relationship with one. And commonality aside, it's not normal or okay to have anyone rub their genetilia on you --- if he was your UNCLE that's something he'd be going to jail over --- it's not 'alpha male' it's sexual molestation if you're not okay with it, and depending on the ages, even if you are.
Try to avoid him is my recommendation.
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He has been molesting you. Like most people who are "just" molested (not held down and raped) there is a lot of confusion about what is going on. In many ways being held down and raped against your will is easier to deal with because you know where things went wrong. Who is to blame, etc. Which makes processing the event somewhat easier. Dealing with it and getting over it is not the same thing as processing it.
Being 'obliged' to participate in a sexual encounter without it being perfectly clear that you are being forced (manipulation is a form of force, but not clearly forceful) leads to a lot of guilt, frustration, and mixed up feelings about what is and has gone on.
He is using sex as a tool of power over you. That rape. This is not love, this is not consensual pleasure play, this is his using sex as an instrument of power over you.
He is being dominant over you in a bad way. He is self proclaimed straight and clearly there is no interest in a relationship of love with you. I honestly doubt he is capable of reciprocating mutual feelings of love as in lovers.
You need to stand up to him and tell him no - no means no, not maybe.
You also need to get the fuck out of there. I suspect that if he doesn't get what he wants from you he may end up resorting to taking it through force. This is not a good situation, he is 'getting off' on this power he has over you - he may not be getting an erection - but he is getting pleasure from this unhealthy situation.
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MisterTinkles Wrote:Did you see ME talking to YOU????
NO, I dont THINK so!!!!
![[Image: giphy.gif]](http://media3.giphy.com/media/S25yCLKmbZOhi/giphy.gif)
[COLOR="Blue"]I can't see where your words are directed, because I Can't See you, you boob >,>
And I'm surprised you can think at all, what with all those furballs lodged in that cavity in your skull.
:hugs-and-kisses-smi[/COLOR]
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