I really do not deal with break ups well.
I believe I have love addiction (or the idea of love addiction)
I also feel like there is a bit of two sides of me in my brain right now. One part of me wants to survive, move on and learn from this break up.
Another side of me wants to keep it alive for as long as possible, in my mind, while trying to reach out to my ex.
It is such a bad cycle, and guess which side overcomes the other? That is right, not the good side.
I have anxiety everyday, shortness of breath, any task seems like a lot to take in, whether it be responsibilities at work, to doing the freggen laundry at home. I avoid certain social situations now because my anxiety goes through the roof sometimes to the point where I feel I cannot breathe.
I also had an anxiety attack at work last week which landed me in the hospital for the 4th time in under a year. It feels like this anxiety is a part of me now along with the non stop obsessives thoughts of my ex. Its been 8 months now and I ve had some ups and downs, but this is the worst I have felt throughout the whole situation.
It seems like 9 out of 10 time, the bad side wins over the good side of the brain, and I spiral down hill.
I find it hard to concentrate at work because of my anxiety. I find it hard to do any tasks at home because of my depression. It is a real horrible mix.
I want to try and fix it without medication, but it is really hard. I need to change my lifestyle to eat healthier and sleep healthier, but that is easier said then done.
I really do not know what to do and how to move forward.
I am caught in a cycle where I text my e-mail my ex constantly to lower my anxiety, then I try to stop thinking about him which makes my anxiety go off. It is so tough and I do not know how to fix it.
On top of that I feel absolutely horrible for dragging my ex into this, interupting his day sometimes, and being a crazy person.
Although, I have done a lot of reading about it on the internet which suggests my anxiety attacks and the way I have reacted is not uncommon because it is like trying to get off a drug, and sometimes it feels like I message my ex just to get my fix. It is really weird.
I just do not know what to do at this point, I feel like a real change is needed in my life but I have no idea how to do it. I do not know if I have the self esteem to make the change.
Has anyone had similar experiences ? How did you deal with it ? Does medication actually work or does it just lessen your symptoms?
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I would suggest you focus a hell of a lot more on therapy with a psychologist..
psychiatrists will get you the drugs, (which, yes are needed to control your anxiety) but while they may help lower the symptoms, the source of the problem is still there, hence you need a psychologist, and you need to dive into therapy heavily..
also, you are in a bad position to cope on your own...do you have friends you can rely on to help you through this?
Please, ask for any help available to you.
family, friends and therapy, otherwise the repercusions will spread to the other aspects of your life...mix the emotional support with some anxiolytic medications to help
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Medications will not cure this. What meds do is make it easier for you to cope with all of this.
And therapy won't cure you either, but a therapist can assist you in figuring out what tools you need to cope and get through these moments.
Some people actually do a lot better with a combination of therapy and medication. Unfortunately way to many people are just on the drugs and not getting the therapy.
At this time, with as crippling and debilitating your anxiety is I strongly suggest you talk to your doctor about both therapy and medication. Your doctor will prescribe an anti-anxiety medication, but don't just stop there. Get a therapist. It may take a few of them to find one you are comfortable with and who works well with you.
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Thanks guys. I was seeing a therapist a few months ago which helped a bit, but I was not 100% honest with him about everything, and I did not talk about the relationship as much as I should have. He stopped his practice  Which sucked cuz I really liked him.
I am really against medication but I am thinking like I have no other choice at this point. I have not been able to do this on my own will, so I should probably listen to the advice of the Doctors and go from there.
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Meds and therapy can help reduce what you have, but I told you before, you need to find a meditation that will work for you!!!!
And shame on you for backsliding, and contacting your Ex!!!!! Naughty boy.
You have separation anxiety, not love anxiety. LOL Although they could be contexted in the same way I guess.
As far as therapy goes, you need a depression/anxiety specialist, someone who can help you talk your way out of these feelings, as well as help you find ways to deal with them on a daily basis, so you dont have to take drugs for any longer than you need too.
Dont make me send my flying monkeys up there after you!!!!!
 
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What you are experiencing is actually very common, so don't stress (:
The problem is, is that your brain is suffering from withdrawal of the chemicals that react and flow in your brain when you are in love/in a relationship. It literally is like coming off from a drug, although in this instance your body is craving it again.
You definitely do need a therapist/someone to talk to that you can be completely honest with. Find something that can take your mind off of your ex, like talking to another boy online, or playing computer games, something like that to distract your mind from the past love.
Its all about training yourself to realise your potential in finding a future and more amazing love, trust me it will happen (:
The first step is always the hardest step to take, but once you do it, the rest are a million times easier (:
X
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I think breaking up is a reasonably reason to be feeling the emotions and physical pain (because your body does physically respond to a break up, unfortunately) you're feeling.
Like everyone said, a professional can help guide you through this all, and if it's too hard, a medication could help.
You might need to cut yourself off from your ex and everything that reminds you of him. Not permanetely and not because you hate him --- but because when you start living your life without him, truly independently, you'll learn that you can do it, and the pain will start to alleviate. However, every time you reach out and see him you're allowing yourself to entertain the thought of a relationship with him, and you're essentially resetting the progress you've made.
It's also likely that you're an anxious person in general, which isn't really a bad thing. But this is definitely making that more heightened, which is another great reason to see a professional and commit yourself to a life without the ex (again; you can always be friends in the future, but for now not a good idea)... because getting over the break up will reduce the anxiety, and a professional can give you medications and self help excersizes to reduce your general anxiety.
My brother's first girlfriend had severe anxiety, to the point where she could not talk to my family (her through would literally feel closed, she told me). I was the exception as we'd been friends for a long time, but she had a lot of panic attacks towards the end of the relationship and it just seemed so much worse. They ended on good terms and consider each other friends, but I notice they rarely talk, and she seems to be back to herself lately. She receives medication but does not see a professional --- likely because she's lower income/afraid.
I do think, however, that breaking up and creating a distance did help her a lot, as she seems to have gotten over her breaks ups quite well.
I bothered to mention her because it seemed relevent....
I hope you start having more good days soon. As someone who feels severe anxiety infrequently, like most people, I can't wish regular anxiety on anyone, and it makes me sad to have read your post.
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Woollyhats Wrote:I think breaking up is a reasonably reason to be feeling the emotions and physical pain (because your body does physically respond to a break up, unfortunately) you're feeling.
Like everyone said, a professional can help guide you through this all, and if it's too hard, a medication could help.
You might need to cut yourself off from your ex and everything that reminds you of him. Not permanetely and not because you hate him --- but because when you start living your life without him, truly independently, you'll learn that you can do it, and the pain will start to alleviate. However, every time you reach out and see him you're allowing yourself to entertain the thought of a relationship with him, and you're essentially resetting the progress you've made.
It's also likely that you're an anxious person in general, which isn't really a bad thing. But this is definitely making that more heightened, which is another great reason to see a professional and commit yourself to a life without the ex (again; you can always be friends in the future, but for now not a good idea)... because getting over the break up will reduce the anxiety, and a professional can give you medications and self help excersizes to reduce your general anxiety.
My brother's first girlfriend had severe anxiety, to the point where she could not talk to my family (her through would literally feel closed, she told me). I was the exception as we'd been friends for a long time, but she had a lot of panic attacks towards the end of the relationship and it just seemed so much worse. They ended on good terms and consider each other friends, but I notice they rarely talk, and she seems to be back to herself lately. She receives medication but does not see a professional --- likely because she's lower income/afraid.
I do think, however, that breaking up and creating a distance did help her a lot, as she seems to have gotten over her breaks ups quite well.
I bothered to mention her because it seemed relevent....
I hope you start having more good days soon. As someone who feels severe anxiety infrequently, like most people, I can't wish regular anxiety on anyone, and it makes me sad to have read your post.
Thanks for the support, I really appreciate it!
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They are all right.. Since they already mentioned talking to a counseling psychologist, and taking medications.. What can i say is I also dealt with a break up. And it's really damn hurtful if he was the one who called it quits...ugh.
I've been through the same but did not really go through depression maybe because I have a lot of things going on my mind before. I wanted him back but all he wanted is to become friends... So i stopped bothering him because I am appearing to be pathetic.
But what i thought before to feel better was... Care about myself... Self improvement. I lived before happily without you, so why can't I now that you left me? I would look more unattractive to him if he will know I was so damn affected with the break up.
So, what I did is to play it cool. I literally burned all the memories, letters, pictures, you name it.. I cried a lot in a day till there's nothing left. After I cried all of those tears, I was okay the other day and found some new hobbies.. I doubled my efforts to look good.. Then i travelled....Everything was bout myself.
I ignored him totally till he texted me one day that he still want to hang out with me... But the cool me already moved on. So now, we are friends.. Things are better. I have already let go.. And moved on. I did not need any medications because all I needed was myself. I understand it might be a different situation for you, but time heals all the pain..believe me.
Hence you are a handsome guy, so for sure someone there is waiting for you to hold you 
All the best!
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update on my situation
