Relationships...

[JohnnyB]

Hello all... Wanted to ask you what are your thoughts on lasting relationships. I'm 24 and have not yet had a relationship that lasted longer than 3 months. Some say that I haven't met the right guy... But maybe the problem could be with me. Anyway would appreciated your perspectives and opions mile:

[Shadow]

Hey babe,

First off I think the notion that gay people can't last in longer-term relationships is utter rubbish. I know of plenty of gay guys that are in long-term relationships (and we're talking years and years and years here), so it's perfectly doable.

I think it very much depends on where you're at in your life, whether you feel it's the right time for you to be thinking about settling into a LTR, where you're looking to meet your prospective partner and so on ...

I'm 30 (just), and the longest relationship I had been in before my current one lasted 3 months, and that was when I was in my mid-20's, so I know what it's like to be in your position ...

... all I can say is that if you want it, then it's definitely out there for the taking mile:.

I'm happy to keep discussing this, but perhaps some of the other lads might want to venture their opinions as well ...

xx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[marshlander]

I believe I function better when I'm in a relationship. I love being able to share my life with someone special. That's not to say I am incapable of coping on my own, nor that I don't value time alone. Being in a real relationship gives you more options.

It's also riskier. Being in a relationship with the wrong person can be truly devastating.

[Star Twister]

Hiya Johnny B,

I have been in a relationship for 13 years, I spend all my time on the computer and he spends all his time watching TV




Great !!!!!!


Have never been more happier


:biggrin:



Seriously though.....


Don't panic about not being in a relationship as it will happen, just don't know when, but when it does, WOW. It's better to wait for mr right I reckon.....

I agree with Marshlander when he says

"It's also riskier. Being in a relationship with the wrong person can be truly devastating"



I was in a relationship once and it was very destructive, I once woke up one morning with him beating my face to a pulp

Good luck Johnny

xxxx


S T

[fjp999]

Hello all... Wanted to ask you what are your thoughts on lasting relationships. I'm 24 and have not yet had a relationship that lasted longer than 3 months. Some say that I haven't met the right guy... But maybe the problem could be with me. Anyway would appreciated your perspectives and opions mile:

First relationship with me lasted about 4 months at about 21/22 but it was a purely training relationship so = all cool.

Since holiday flings dont count the next relationship I made was at about 24 & lasted... well, still going on but now very, very long distant.

Any reason you think it might be problems with your own personality Johnny? Too clingy? Not clingy enough? Just curious what you think might be an issue...

@Star Twister, glad to see ya in a super relationship NOW but what a mess that destructive one must have been - hope you were able to get out of it quickly and safely!

[JohnnyB]

First relationship with me lasted about 4 months at about 21/22 but it was a purely training relationship so = all cool.

Since holiday flings dont count the next relationship I made was at about 24 & lasted... well, still going on but now very, very long distant.

Any reason you think it might be problems with your own personality Johnny? Too clingy? Not clingy enough? Just curious what you think might be an issue...

@Star Twister, glad to see ya in a super relationship NOW but what a mess that destructive one must have been - hope you were able to get out of it quickly and safely!

Thats interesting what you said bout not clingy enough. First thing I do is simply just go with it. Then I start to like them and by that time they seem to go off me. I think cos I don't give them much they work harder, by the time I notice them and start liking them they seem to run for the hills. Problem is is that its so frusterating. I don't think it helps that I have made some terrible choices of men. Most of them seem to be on the re-bound from previous relationships.

What I need is a text book on the subject... Or a decent gay friend who is gonna help me out and not come on to them before or while I'm dating them (thats another story).

[Shadow]

Well in terms of decent gay mates you're spoilt for choice here - there are HORDES of really lovely lads of all ages and from all walks of life, and we've already started the meeting in real life thang, so who knows - perhaps there's somebody in your area that would be happy to meet up with you just to kick around with or what have you ...

The thing about relationships I find is that, even if they seem to end the same, each is unique - whilst you can look at yourself and analyse what you think you did right (and wrong), you have to account for the added dimension of there being another person in the relationship ...

How many have you had thusfar if you don't mind my asking ?

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

xx.

[JohnnyB]

Well in terms of decent gay mates you're spoilt for choice here - there are HORDES of really lovely lads of all ages and from all walks of life, and we've already started the meeting in real life thang, so who knows - perhaps there's somebody in your area that would be happy to meet up with you just to kick around with or what have you ...

The thing about relationships I find is that, even if they seem to end the same, each is unique - whilst you can look at yourself and analyse what you think you did right (and wrong), you have to account for the added dimension of there being another person in the relationship ...

How many have you had thusfar if you don't mind my asking ?

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

xx.

I've had about five. To be honest I have made some catestropic descisions when it comes to men in the past. But then they all seemed to be nice guys and it can't all be them and I just wish I knew the reason why so I could get some closure on it. Which is something I never seem to get when a relationship finishes so I'm left wondering why.

[princealbertofb]

I've had about five. To be honest I have made some catestropic descisions when it comes to men in the past. But then they all seemed to be nice guys and it can't all be them and I just wish I knew the reason why so I could get some closure on it. Which is something I never seem to get when a relationship finishes so I'm left wondering why.

Were they all in the same sort of age range as you? From what I understand, they were the ones pursuing you rather than you pursuing them... so could there be a pattern that you are too easy a prey?

[Smurlos]

Had you asked me this question at the beginning of this year, I would've been full of pessimism (or is it single s?) and blamed myself. The longest relationship I had had before the one I'm currently in was 2 months... and that was with a guy I didn't particularly have many feelings for... the first 2 weeks was excitement and on a high... but then I realised... he actually bored me a little and I just didn't feel any spark or anything....

I've been with my current boyfriend for getting on for 4 months now. And I've gotta say... I am head over heels in love with him and he is with me. I know 4 months isn't THAT long really... but when you're thinking double your longest relationship you've ever had... and to KNOW that someone is so much in love with you, as you are with them...

So I guess what I'm saying is... your time will come. You just got to be patient. There is someone out there for you mile: - a little tip: don't look too hard. I gave up praying and looking... and he came to me - and at first I didn't even realise that the guy I was off to meet would turn out to be the perfect guy for me - just take it one step at a time and don't think too much about it all xx