What is wrong with me?

[Drkmcnamara]

Ok so look at my profile pic guys, the person you see on there is of course me, taken just a few minutes ago. I do not think I am an ugly and unattractive person however, it seems like a lot of guys I have run into irl seem to have a different opinion of that. I get told that I am fat and that I should lose weight. I mean I can stand to lose 10 pounds but they make it out to be like a morbidly obese slob. They also say my face is too round and chubby and evidently that is ugly. I seem to be getting turned down or being put into the friendzone with all of the guy guys I meet irl and idk why that is the case?
Is my physical appearance really the problem? Am I really that ugly and unattractive to other gay men?

[HumbleTangerine]

"I do not think I am an ugly and unattractive person"

See, you already have the problem solved. You don't think you're ugly. I know it's clichéd, but that's the most important thing and you've gotten further than most people have. Don't be bothered by what other people think. If you want to lose weight, then try to lose weight. If you're happy the way you are, then don't. Always put your own comfortability first, before considering other people's opinions. You'll meet someone who finds you attractive whatever choices you make.

I don't even want to answer your question, because it's beside the point, but I don't see an ugly person in your profile picture

[Woollyhats]

There's nothing wrong with you.

There is something wrong with people telling you you're ugly.

Weight and attraction is culturally influenced, it is a special privilege that we get to live in a society where being skinny is ideal and attractive. Unfortunately, for many, it seems like a curse.

You have the right idea, in believing that the problem is not with you.

You need to realize one thing. If you want to be skinny or change your weight, you need to do it because you want to be healthier and it's what you want to do. If you are worried and changing your weight simply because you believe it makes you ugly, your self esteem ultimately may never change.

Bluntly; you are not ugly. Perhaps I am unusual in that 'my type' comprises of a larger age and weight range than most people, but even so, there are many people out there are undoubtly would and do like you. So, if you take care of yourself and like yourself, there are people out there that will overlook, or better yet, be attracted, to the body and personality you do have. A slim, muscular build is celebrated in our culture, but it is not the only build that exists or that people find attractive.

Pay attention to couples when you're a public area sometime, you'll notice that there are pairs of all shapes and ages, and that diversity is natural and normal, and you are a part of it. Be happy with that.

Why not continue to search for people who appreciate you, rather than worrying about the guys who don't like you or friendzone you? Because who cares about them?

To answer your questions, you just haven't met the right person yet. Don't get so discouraged that you give up before you find him .

[dfiant1]

[southbiochem]

I do not think I am an ugly and unattractive person,

While there is no harm in working one's body to be fitter (hey, I don't hold washboard abs or rock hard pecs myself), I wouldn't say you're fat, from what I see of you.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, and what's more important:

you have a positive opinion of yourself. (what I quoted)

There is nothing more lovely about someone that when they love themselves.

So, nevermind all those shallow people, they will find flaws of every nature in everyone and certainly they are not worth your time.

In bewteen all that horrible people you'll find that one guy that's going to adore you for everything you are.

Don't give up

[matty7]

who are these people who get away saying this crap to you ..are they people u have met ,, worse ! are they friends? ,,or now ex friends I hope /// u are fine ,,,,trust me ,,,,,cant add more than that

[Drkmcnamara]

I do take care of myself though and I am at a medically recognized acceptable weight. I have no health problems that arise from weight issues (I have rheumatoid arthritis but that has nothing to do with my weight or how I took care of myself). Which is why I am perplexed as to why I am getting these reactions from other and even being turned down because they say I am fat and that I dont take of myself because I dont look like a porn star.

[Drkmcnamara]

Personally I take their whole speil about health and having their kind of prejudcie as being a positive force on the community to ne total bullshit. They seem to have a very erroneous picture of what healthy is in their minds. Just because you look like a model does not necessarily mean you are healthy for one. Also I am quite a healthy and active person especially considering the medical condition I have.

[southbiochem]

I do take care of myself though and I am at a medically recognized acceptable weight. I have no health problems that arise from weight issues

Then there is not a single reason for you to pay any attention what so ever to these folks..

don't be surprised, there are many shallow people out there..

Any guy that say you need to change for them is a big "no"

there's nothing wrong with you, so go out there and look for that guys who will appreciate what you have to offer

[Drkmcnamara]

Do guys like that even exist? I am really begin to doubt that now, well at least where I live. One thing is for sure though I definetly dont fit into the gay scene which severly limits my ability to meet and be with other gay men