A Freakin' Teddy Bear (help me get over this)

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Ok, Bowyn and OBW and I suppose Marshlander (all senior guys, hmmm)

You know I'm usually on your side but this time I will not.

How can you think for a moment there's no hypocrisy in getting mad over a few probably non important pics and at the same time shoving to his face a tangible object of clear important sentimental value of a past relationship.

Let's start with the pics. Yes, it was a bad idea, and juvenile to do that. Probably meant as a joke but had some serious effects.

Ok, Jeri you don't do that. It will make him think you're considering other guys, that you don't take the relationship seriouly. He will compare himself with those guys. H emay think you think and lust over other guys still.

Sure an apology over that bad idea is mandatory. They may not mean anything to you right now, but you need to delete those pics if you haven't by now.

But I won't go as far as saying you don't need to adress somethings yourself.

How do all of you older guys think it's OK to have a souvenir of a past relationship for the new guy to see at all times?

You say the guy will compare himself to those pics. Don't you think that the OP will constantly compare himself to the guy's ex?

See, past potential fucks buddies, hook-ups or whatever are quite meaningless in the long run compared to the importance of a past relationship and more so when it is represented at all times by that teddy bear.

He doesn't need to get rid of it. Not if it means that much to him, but certainly is quite unfair and hurtful to shove that in the current BF's face at all times.

This kind of things, you keep to yourself. You move them somewhere else. Or at the very least you keep them from knowing "hey this is from my ex and it means the world to me".

You find it annoying? Probably is, but the fact is that the OP is hurt about this.

The OP while acted naively, is not completely childish, as he said nothing at first of how it upset him.

He is within his right, while needing to offer an apology, to demand one back.

South you know I'm a blunt S.O.B... So you know I just like to throw stuff out there, so this isn't me trying to hurt you....

But how many relationships have you been in?

Your attitude and understanding the difference between pictures and teddy bear will change once you get an ex and enter a new relationship. Suddenly it will become clear in your head.

I honestly doubt that this experience and all that it implies can be sufficiently translated, even though different old guys have tried their different ways of expression to convey it.

What I find annoying is someone started off joking and then allowed their own joke to become all serious and a fight and an argument and an 'issue'.

[southbiochem]

South you know I'm a blunt S.O.B... So you know I just like to throw stuff out there, so this isn't me trying to hurt you....

But how many relationships have you been in?

Your attitude and understanding the difference between pictures and teddy bear will change once you get an ex and enter a new relationship. Suddenly it will become clear in your head.

I honestly doubt that this experience and all that it implies can be sufficiently translated, even though different old guys have tried their different ways of expression to convey it.

What I find annoying is someone started off joking and then allowed their own joke to become all serious and a fight and an argument and an 'issue'.

Nope, I haven't been in any f*cking relationship, thanks for reminding me that.

I am by no means diminishing the seriousness of the situation regarding the pics.

But I cannot believe the failure to see the double standard here.

The BF feels bad about the pics. He should. Anyone would. Its was a DUMB and STUPID thing to keep let alone show as a joke. Lesson learned, those need to go.

But the OP has a problem with the souvenir. I don't give a flying f*ck about it's meaning. It made the OP feel bad. I don't give a flying f*ck if about some greater experience giving you the right to portray these souvenirs. It made the OP feel bad

If you are asking the OP to be respectful about his BF feelings, you need to tell the BF to do the same.

I am likely to be that guy Bowyn...less inmature, for sure, but it will wreck me to no end if I have to see something that will only remind me that there was once someone so important that he kept that.

Tell me, do I need to stay quiet? stay put? "Sure, honey, please do show me how high the bar is set, just so I know everyday I need to meet a standard"

Keep all the sentimental crap you want Bowyn, but don't ever let me know where does it come from.

Then again, this only will make me childish or insecure no? Well, why the f*ck did you get involved with me in the first place?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Hmm.

Yes a pretty damn high standard was set, and since YOU are the one in the house, in my arms, in my life and He is not, apparently you have not only met that high standard but excelled it.