02-27-2014, 03:02 AM
southbiochem Wrote:Ok, Bowyn and OBW and I suppose Marshlander (all senior guys, hmmm)
You know I'm usually on your side but this time I will not.
How can you think for a moment there's no hypocrisy in getting mad over a few probably non important pics and at the same time shoving to his face a tangible object of clear important sentimental value of a past relationship.
Let's start with the pics. Yes, it was a bad idea, and juvenile to do that. Probably meant as a joke but had some serious effects.
Ok, Jeri you don't do that. It will make him think you're considering other guys, that you don't take the relationship seriouly. He will compare himself with those guys. H emay think you think and lust over other guys still.
Sure an apology over that bad idea is mandatory. They may not mean anything to you right now, but you need to delete those pics if you haven't by now.
But I won't go as far as saying you don't need to adress somethings yourself.
How do all of you older guys think it's OK to have a souvenir of a past relationship for the new guy to see at all times?
You say the guy will compare himself to those pics. Don't you think that the OP will constantly compare himself to the guy's ex?
See, past potential fucks buddies, hook-ups or whatever are quite meaningless in the long run compared to the importance of a past relationship and more so when it is represented at all times by that teddy bear.
He doesn't need to get rid of it. Not if it means that much to him, but certainly is quite unfair and hurtful to shove that in the current BF's face at all times.
This kind of things, you keep to yourself. You move them somewhere else. Or at the very least you keep them from knowing "hey this is from my ex and it means the world to me".
You find it annoying? Probably is, but the fact is that the OP is hurt about this.
The OP while acted naively, is not completely childish, as he said nothing at first of how it upset him.
He is within his right, while needing to offer an apology, to demand one back.
South you know I'm a blunt S.O.B... So you know I just like to throw stuff out there, so this isn't me trying to hurt you....
But how many relationships have you been in?
Your attitude and understanding the difference between pictures and teddy bear will change once you get an ex and enter a new relationship. Suddenly it will become clear in your head.
I honestly doubt that this experience and all that it implies can be sufficiently translated, even though different old guys have tried their different ways of expression to convey it.
What I find annoying is someone started off joking and then allowed their own joke to become all serious and a fight and an argument and an 'issue'.