Until recently I was planning to always stay in the closet as bisexual considering that I could live a life with a female and hold this secret in. However, my best friend just recently came out to me and told me that he was bisexual and that I was the first person that he was telling. At the moment, I am very confused because we are both bisexual males and I feel closer to him than I have ever felt to anyone else in my life. However, he told me that he was sorry but he has no feelings for me in that matter. I have like my best friend for months now and I told him that I felt that way and he told me that he just doesn't have feelings for me. However, he was in the strongest denial that you could imagine and when I asked him about any crushes on any guys, he told me that he has been too busy forcing guys out of his mind to develop any crushes. I know that we both care very much for each other and that it was very hard for him to tell me because he was worried that I would not want to be friends with him anymore. (We both came out at the same time and he was shocked and I was at the same time). There is nobody in the world that makes me feel the way he does and right now, I'm thinking he is still very nervous about everything given that he said he is not sure if he is ready to tell anybody else. I really need help here because I have never loved anybody this much and while I can maintain a normal friendship with him ( I have been doing that for over a year now), I really want to date him because there is nobody that I love more than him. What should I do about this?
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First thing is to respect his admission that he does not have romantic feelings for you. If you continue to push it, you run the risk of pushing him out of your life. Even though you feel he is the one, in reality, not so much.
I was in the same sort of situation a few years ago where my pal have strong romantic feelings for me. I was cool being friends with him, but I had no romantic interest in the least. He wouldn't stop pushing the issue, so fast forward, we are no longer friends. I couldn't take the pressure, and he didn't know when to stop.
You have a tough choice. Either relish the friendship for what it is, which will be difficult if/when he starts seeing other guys, or you can end it and get over the pain of the break up now.
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Tell him how you feel... He most likely followed up his I like guys confession with I don't like you because he didn't want to scare you away. He came out to you and that means he trusts you more than anyone else... I'm sure your friendship will survive you asking him if he feels something for you too... so long as you don't push him over and over again if he says you have no chance with him
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You are quite right, he is nervous but he doesn't seem to be ready?
Unfortunately we cannot tell other people who to love and he stated his position towards you. The is one thing you can do though and that is be his friend. If you enjoy his company and vice versa continue to explore that avenue without making a move and see what happens over time.
Expressing your feelings might be too soon at this juncture and may end up in his running for the hills.
Wait! Softly, softly catches a mouse.
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Yes This is all great advice. It could go either way because I know it took alot to tell him and he said that he has not focused on his interests in men whatsoever. So it is hard to say how he feels.... Also I saw the same denial when I asked him how he felt towards me as when he used to deny any feelings toward men. I am definitely going to wait and not pressure him. I might eventually tell him how I feel, but nothing more than that. He has been an amazing friend and I treasure his friendship too much to risk ending it. I'm only worried about him dating a guy. I will just have to try my hardest to not be jealous or bitter if that situation happens. Thanks for all of the advice.
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I think you have developed a crush. They never last and they usually end badly.
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Well I don't know if I can label this as a crush. I have been feeling this way for well over half a year now without any straying thoughts of other people. (except when I try to think of other people to distract myself from this) . I can't get over this crush nor have I at least been able to weaken this crush.... Every class of the day for me I am stuck thinking about him and how frustrating it is but I just remind myself I don't want to end this friendship. We both came out to each other at the same time and as far as I am concerned, he might not have told me everything that is actually going on. I am just going to be patient because unless another person comes into my life that means more to me, I can't find anybody else. Nobody else even means a fraction of what he means to me. But like I said, the only think I can do is wait. There is no alternative because all I can do is tell him how I feel, which I think should wait a while since he is still coming out, (I am the only person he has told so far) So there is no alternative. Thanks for the advice everybody, if anyone else has any thoughts, please speak.
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Respect his answer he has no romantic feelings.
I think you have built him up to God status over the last year of crushing on him, let it go stay friends.
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My friend and I both came out
