Hey everyone, my names kay! Im 16! And i had my first gay expireince last night... I dont have anyone else to tell but i need to tell someone so here i am! Anyway... I have this friend whos openly gay and he invites me to stay at his house. I thought nothing of it because were friends and i dont judge people like that (although it had crossed my mind he could try somthing). I have thought about being with a boy before like everyone has but ive never thought too deep into it, anyway... So i go to his and its all cool were playing xbox and its all chill. Then a few hours later were sat on the sofa watching family guy and out of nowhere he litterally leans over and kisses me... I honestly had no idea what to do! He knows im not gay but i didnt pull away! Then he started to feel my crotch and i slid back! He said 'do you not like it?' I said 'im not gay' and he said 'i know but were just mates! Do you not want to experiment?' And i thought about it and honestly i did! So i let him! And we didnt end up having sex but we did suck each other and i did swallow... I dont know if im bi or not but honestly i kinda liked it... Im not sure tho and now he wants to do it again... Im so confused! Can anyone give me any advice? Thanks
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At 16 it maybe hard to define yourself.
All you can do is go on and deducting that from your life experiences.
Question is, cause you see or have seen yourself as straight so far.
Were you comfortable or uncomfortable with your experience?
Does the tought of another experience of the same kind make you uncomfortable or does it make you curious/maybe excited a bit?
Go ahead only if you want to. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with.
Again, at 16 probably you won't have a clear picture of your sexual preferences, but the more you live, the more clear it will become to you.
If something else takes place, I also encourage you to practice safe sex, should it get to that.
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A lot of people are confused in their teens.
Try not to label yourself yet but if you enjoyed the experience it seems natural to want to try it again sometime.
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Hello; I'm sure you have some sort of sexual feeling if you liked it, so you're definitely towards the middle of the scale. I would call you bisexual if you like women as well, but perhaps you'll choose to label yourself differently according to your romantic orientation, that's fine.
Sexuality - who you like sexually, examples of: Gay (same gender), bi (both genders), straight (opposite genders).
Romantic orientation: The gender you have relationships with. Example, a bisexual might only ever date the same sex, so would call themselves gay.
Hopefully that makes sense to you, in case you hear anyone using those terms. Essentially you're able to define yourself if you so choose in any way you want still, which is kind of cool. Totally optional too, don't need the labels if they're uncomfortable.
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Advice: Be careful with friend. Experimenting is normal, but can be dangerous in terms of disease, parents finding out, black mail, all sorts of nasty things. So consider whether you want that.
On the same token; consider the direction you want your relationship with this guy to go --- if in any direction.
You don't really know who you are yet and you're young, both things make you vulnerable. So my advice is to take a lot of time to think about this...
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Teenage guys playing with each other isn't necesarily gay. I did it and happened to be gay, but the guy I did it with wasn't. He enjoyed it alot more than I did though; I never came, he did every time. To me it was just playful, to him it was actually "getting off" (I assume).
Funnily enough, I was the one to break it off, as it kind of became a regular thing.
How old is the friend?
Were his parents home?
It sounds like your gay friend is taking advantage of you. If you enjoy it, it's fine. And about enjoying it, it sounds like you came, in which case you got an orgasm. Which will feel good even if it's given to you by a robot. Having a guy giving you an orgasm doesn't make you gay, in any way.
Also don't worry about "becoming" gay by playing around with a guy; firstly being gay isn't bad, secondly it's not something you learn to be. You're simply born that way.
I never understood the sexuality "Bi", so with that part I really really can't help :S
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Cuddly Wrote:I never understood the sexuality "Bi", so with that part I really really can't help :S
Bi = sexual enjoyment from both genders. There can be a preference. Like someone can like one gender more than the other, but still like them both. Like the guy you mentioned in your post was probably bi, but was so much more into women that it made no sense to ever really come out as bi, he's only have straight relationships, so why bother?
Personally, if a woman tried to do something with me I wouldn't really have a sexual response. Which is 100% gay = sexually gay. I would also only date a male = romantically gay. IF I did have a response but was like "MAN SEX IS JUST SO MUCH BETTER MEN ARE HOMOSEXY" I'd be bi with a preference for men. Would probably call myself gay too, since I'd never date a women, so might as well.
Does that make sense? I feel confusing today. I'll just put the terminology neatly back into my label chest and put it in the closet.
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Kaytee Wrote:Hey everyone, my names kay! Im 16! And i had my first gay expireince last night... I dont have anyone else to tell but i need to tell someone so here i am! Anyway... I have this friend whos openly gay and he invites me to stay at his house. I thought nothing of it because were friends and i dont judge people like that (although it had crossed my mind he could try somthing). I have thought about being with a boy before like everyone has but ive never thought too deep into it, anyway... So i go to his and its all cool were playing xbox and its all chill. Then a few hours later were sat on the sofa watching family guy and out of nowhere he litterally leans over and kisses me... I honestly had no idea what to do! He knows im not gay but i didnt pull away! Then he started to feel my crotch and i slid back! He said 'do you not like it?' I said 'im not gay' and he said 'i know but were just mates! Do you not want to experiment?' And i thought about it and honestly i did! So i let him! And we didnt end up having sex but we did suck each other and i did swallow... I dont know if im bi or not but honestly i kinda liked it... Im not sure tho and now he wants to do it again... Im so confused! Can anyone give me any advice? Thanks First and most importantly do not do anything youaren't comfortable with. Second, be safe.
Aside fun that, don't worry with the labels. If you like your friend than youlike him you don't have to call it anything.
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Woollyhats Wrote:Bi = sexual enjoyment from both genders. There can be a preference. Like someone can like one gender more than the other, but still like them both. Like the guy you mentioned in your post was probably bi, but was so much more into women that it made no sense to ever really come out as bi, he's only have straight relationships, so why bother?
Personally, if a woman tried to do something with me I wouldn't really have a sexual response. Which is 100% gay = sexually gay. I would also only date a male = romantically gay. IF I did have a response but was like "MAN SEX IS JUST SO MUCH BETTER MEN ARE HOMOSEXY" I'd be bi with a preference for men. Would probably call myself gay too, since I'd never date a women, so might as well.
Does that make sense? I feel confusing today. I'll just put the terminology neatly back into my label chest and put it in the closet.
No that doesn't make sense... How can you be attracted to dick AND pussy? It is beyond my realm of understanding. My sister says she's bi, and I believe her, but my failure to understand the concept of bi leaves me wondering how it's possible. She dates women, only, as of late, btw. I asked her once and she said she was still attracted to guys.
If I were attracted to women I wouldn't put myself through the pain of having to fear being judged, mocked, slapped, beaten, kicked, bitten, arrested, murdered for kissing my partner in the grocery store!, just to have a man next to me, instead of a woman, if it's all the same to me anyway.
I don't understand bi. I intend to make a thread about this sometime, hopefully somebody can make me understand. Thanks for trying though, but you didn't make me understand!
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Cuddly Wrote:If I were attracted to women I wouldn't put myself through the pain of having to fear being judged, mocked, slapped, beaten, kicked, bitten, arrested, murdered for kissing my partner in the grocery store!, just to have a man next to me, instead of a woman, if it's all the same to me anyway.
I don't understand bi. I intend to make a thread about this sometime, hopefully somebody can make me understand. Thanks for trying though, but you didn't make me understand!
I don't doubt that at least a few bisexuals do that, but for many people love isn't a choice. You don't get a pop up that asks you whether or not to allow feelings and attraction for a person, and love makes many people do stupid things.
“Love is like quicksand; once you're in it's difficult to get out.”
― C.B. Smith
And what doesn't make sense to me is gay or straight...and I say that as someone who has been strictly attracted to my own gender for many years now. From a strictly intellectual POV (at least as I see it) bisexuality just makes a lot more sense, plenty of species close to us seem to have a tendency (or even a near universal trend) of bisexuality, and when without all our effects (cosmetics, clothes, haircuts, what's shaved and what's not, etc) plenty of men & women look a lot alike, especially from a distance yet obviously mating still happened. There was even an art exhibit in which a bunch of naked male & female butts (black & white, was some distance but overall shape still clearly visible) were shown and most people couldn't guess which gender was which. It almost seems natural to think that the different styles for men & women was to exaggerate gender differences so that we could learn single sex orientation (not asserting it's true, but I wouldn't blame someone who did).
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Cuddly Wrote:No that doesn't make sense... How can you be attracted to dick AND pussy? It is beyond my realm of understanding.
a person can be attracted to white men (or women) as well as black men / women . a person can be attracted to really thin men , but sometimes be attracted to someone muscular.
some people don't give a shit what's between a person's legs and fall in love with the person , not the body.
also , there aren't many bisexual people who would say that they are bi because they "are attracted to both dick and pussy." most would say "i am attracted to both men and women."
like , i'm a lesbian because i love my wife and am only attracted to women , not because i fucking love pussy. that's a completely separate part of it.
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