Posts: 1,725
Threads: 594
Joined: Jun 2012
Mood: None
So its 2 am, its been 2 weeks since i saw by boyfriend for the last time, then he had exams then i had exams. We were supossed to meet today, but he had to go to a party (we are both in the closet so going together is out of the question).
So its late at night i open my skype account and presto! incredible hot guy wants to jerk and watch me jerk (my bf is not into sexcam)
Im horny (4 days build up stored) so i go for it. Its great.
After we both finish he starts saying things like "for a guy like you i would go to the end of the world" etc (he knows i have a boyfriend) of course i dont flirt back, but still i feel kinda guilty.
Of course i wont tell my man. He watches porn and so do i. Could sexcam be taken like interactive porn?
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
Video sex like you described is definitely cheating in my book. I don't mind if my BF watches porn, but stepping up to an interactive encounter with another person is unacceptable.
I can empathize with your situation. It's difficult to maintain a relationship when both of you are in the closet, and don't have many opportunities to see each other. This is why long distance relationships don't work - real relationships require frequent physical contact.
Where you go from here depends on what you and your BF are willing to do. Unless the two of you are committed to the relationship, and all that's required to maintain it, there's no reason to continue. Perhaps you should consider coming out.
•
The guy online just wants no strings sex.
Yeah it is cheating but learn from it and if you are serious about your relationship don't do it again.
As regards telling your boyfriend I would strongly recommend you do not!
The reason is that it would probably hurt him so why add unnecessary tension. What he doesn't know won't hurt him but don't do it again. Everyone makes mistakes. By telling him you put yourself directly in the firing line - not a good idea!
•
If you're horny, jerk without sexcam. That's it.
•
Cheating is a complex thing. It packs a lot of emotions in the activities that we consider 'cheating' - the sense of betrayal is the foundation stone - then a lot of other stuff is stacked up there.
With this relatively new technological era we are dealing with new ways to interact with people which defy older standards of what interaction was, such as we all knew if you were in the same room with another person jacking off you pretty much were cheating. Now there is this filter of monitor and magically charged particles in the ether... so its not old school cheating its..... ???
Yet, the old face to face emotions come welling up in most people... I bet BF ain't going to be too happy to hear you were jacking off real time with another guy - emotionally interacting even if it was by magic mirror or whatever the device is called.
It is the emotional impact of such interaction that determines cheating.
I personally am uncertain what to think of it - its somewhere in the grey area of hiring a prostitute for a fling. I'm not too happy about it, but I don't view it as cheating because well your with a whore, few people actually get emotionally evolved with their whore or will run the risk of leaving their current partner/spouse for the whore.
Yet you seem to have this ability to actually consider becoming attached to this particular video personality. That is where rage, jelousy, betrayal and all of those other emotions come into play to say 'this is cheating'.
In the end it doesn't matter how I or anyone else here feels about what is and is not cheating. Its going to be your partner who defines this for you and may the gods help you if he defines this as cheating....
He won't like you very much. And these sorts of situations never really end well.
•
For me, on a personal basis, it is cheating. To me it's not the same watching porn to be actively interacting with another person. Then again I confess my mindset tends to go more on the conservative side and all of the more liberal minds here will tell you otherwise.
So the big deal here is, what if you had a random guy right there with you?
Would you go through with it? Because if you admit to yourself you would have done the same with a person on the spot, then what you did is cheating indeed.
If not, then your mind is not focused of cheating.
But that's for you to determine.
What it is almost certain is that the BF is not going to be happy about it and I think you know it.
And also 4 days (in my opinion) is too short of a time to fall into this kind of behavior.
You have the difficulty of both of you being in the closet, so maybe you need to find ways to deal with that, so you 2 can see more frequently.
•
I think its a lot different as compared to just watching porn...
Because you are actually being seen by the other person, it's cheating for me.
And i wont tolerate such things if ever... I know people have different views but im closed minded to such things even if you explain it to me..
You said "Of course I wont tell my man"... You know small lies can ruin a relationship. Just personally, i dont like hiding anything from someone, because when it comes out to the surface, something you thought was just a small thing would actually be big
•
Sexam = cheating?
