As one of the above posters mentioned, be careful with saying things you don't mean, since the other person will interpret it literally. For example, saying "maybe in the future..." when what you mean is "never". Best just to say what you mean or not say anything!
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Again dfiant's answers are excellent.
Telling her you love her as a friend might be a start but then explain why she can only ever be a friend, maybe?
It is your life and you have a right to be happy.
So be happy and live it the way it makes you happy. If others cannot accept that, it is their problem!
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Oh yes, I have had this happen before. A very nice girl. She "fell in love" with me at "first sight", after meeting at some Hay Ride "do".
Like your friend, nothing wrong with her at all.
After about a year of getting letters from her (we lived several miles away from each other), gradually "hinting" how her life would be "with me".....I wrote her a nice letter, telling her that I liked being friends, she was a super nice person and I always had fun when we went out......but I only like to date guys.
I got a letter back from her about a month later saying she had cried for a solid week after reading my last letter, but she had time to think it all over, and was perfectly happy with being friends.
We ran around with each other for some time after that, had some fun running around town and stuff when we got together.
Years later she finally met a nice guy and got married.
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Someone who has known you for 13 years and you're 20?..
She grew up with you. I think out of all people, she would be the perfect one to tell.
Yes, I know: It IS hard, mind-wrecking, scary.
But weigh your situation here.
She will be hurt, no matter what, but she will be even more hurt if you let this continue. She needs to know all of this has nothing to do with her.
And you could do well by telling someone and stop this affliction that you have due to your hinding all this time.
It is but one person. No one is saying you should start wearing a sign saying "I'm gay" and letting everyone know, but I dare say that telling the truth to that one person will make things better for the both of you.
She could get pass anything about you given how much time you 2 have been friends.
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If she's your best friend you don't even have to lie, tell her you love her a lot, but not the way she loves you, you love her like the twin sister you never had, and there's nothing you can do to change the way you see her.
Now it would be wise to start testing the waters to see how she thinks about the gay community, because clearly being in the closet is not making you happy.
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