CCRox Wrote:If you've been friends that long and you understand he does not know then this "for whatever reason" is what I'm interested in hearing more about. If you can't just be gay around your friend, then what have you been doing all this time around him? Not being gay? Do you maintain some sort of way of acting/being when he's around other than how you really are when he's not? I am really truly not intending to be a smart ass here.
I ask that because I am just not sure what "being straight is easier" can be if that's what you've actually "been" around him instead of gay.
It's so easy to complicate things more than needed to move forward sometimes so I don't mean to dig to deep.
Not entirely sure how to respond, but I get what you're saying.
In attempt to answer.. I think I'm naturally "straight acting", so I'm not really acting any different than I would. Honestly though, up until a few years ago I didn't even really accept the fact that I was gay myself. I'm still learning how to be 100% okay with it, and only recently have come out to a few people in person..
As for my best friend, he grew up in a fairly bigoted household who's dad is still very anti-gay and racist, so I'm not entirely sure how he'd react. Even beyond that, I worry about how people will perceive me after the fact.. if they'll look at me differently / negatively, even if I don't think they're homophobic or anything..
I think by saying "being straight is easier", I mean that if I were straight I wouldn't have to deal with any of it. I wouldn't have to worry about who knew or who didn't.. how to come out to people.. etc.
Being straight is naturally accepted by everyone. Being gay isn't. That's what makes life harder for me (and others), I guess?
I'll get over it. It's just the way I feel at times.