How to overcome watching porn?

[Chris]

Hi guys! So I haven't been watching porn for a months or so but recently I began to do it again and almost every day Everything is so tempting. There are nude pictures on gay dating websites and everywhere and I can't resist watching them and then even switch to movies. I know that some of you don't mind watching porn and I respect it but please don't make this topic a debate about it because I feel wrong with it. I'm single but when I'll meet my future bf I'd like to be pure for him and have only clear thoughts and make our sex something unique, even holy although I'm not religious. I remember when I met my first bf and we were lying on the meadow and it took us a few hours to hold each other hands. Now I'm more into older men but I feel like I'm only bottom, cute or sexy for them just from them the beginning. It's so frustraiting. I want to find someone but everything is oversexualized. Maybe someone has similar problems and would like to support each other in attempt to give up porn? Do you have any advice on how to overcome it?

[MisterLove]

Great topic!

I don't watch it anymore, I just got fed up. It happened naturally, I guess. I switched to dudesnude.com, which is technically not porn, but I don't even go there anymore.

Sex in movies can be beautiful, though - Strangers by the Lake is a fine example of this.

[Mark]

I've said before I'm not really a porn fan because of how fake it all is! If I do ever venture to it I'd rather watch live amateur cam fun than recorded as I hate the fake aspect!

I respect what you are saying though, and its pretty decent you want to save yourself - however while I do think you can be pure, I do wonder about pure thoughts because its human nature to think about sex - so don't beat yourself up about it. When you would normally watch porn do something else to take your mind off it - how about read or watch a film?

You need to know what triggers the urge and try to combat it.

[LONDONER]

Gay porn is pure fantasy but it leads a lot of guys in to believing that that's how it should be: beautiful young men with muscular, tanned bodies and super endowed in the genitalia department. That impression can be ruinous at times especially when it comes to the real thing and you find that what you are experiencing is nothing like what you have seen on the Internet. You only have to read some of the posts here on GS to realise that some people have ended up very disillusioned.

Not sure how you can wean yourself off it but as long as you realise that it is just all fantasy, you're on the right step.

[HumbleTangerine]

I really feel like antagonizing porn as an outlet for desires is unhealthy, but I'll respect your wishes and not push it further.

If porn is the factor you want to get rid of I would suggest using your imagination instead. I don't think any attempt to avoid masturbation completely will be successful unless the person in question has a sex drive way below average. Unless they compensate with actual sex of course.

[Cuddly]

But I like porn!!

In my relationship we don't consider porn cheating. There's nothing wrong with gathering appetite out, as long as you eat home. Atleast in a monogamous relationship.

I do not understand your desire to be "pure" for your boyfriend, but if that's truely what you wish, then use your imagination as Humble suggested. In my enormeous experience in masturbation the imagination is actually far hotter than porn, but it takes some getting used to not having the visual stimuli.

[Ryocchi]

It's different for all people, I used to watch a lot and download a lot of porn, but eventually I got tired and fed up and even a little nauseated and deleted everything, it felt incredibly good, now I do watch it sometimes, but I prefer to read a good homo-erotic novel, that has a good chunk if good story, books that are sex, sex, sex, bore me also.

[Pix]

I wonder if writing your own stories (to help guide your imagination into something more useful for what you want in life) would help?

It might...or maybe it would make you want porn more. Still, in case it's helpful I'm throwing that out there.

[ChadCoxRox]

I don't care for most porn but I like some of it. Whenever we look for porn we spend more time looking for something we like than actually looking at it! We use it as a "tool for our art" and we feel free to use it together or alone. It's simply an enhancement in our relationship rather than a distraction or obsession. Being grandiose or obsessive about it is not really about the porn itself but something deeper. Choose and try to stick to it. If you have trouble adjusting it's to be expected and you just stay at the "training" and it will improve. If you cannot reduce or stay away, then it's more than just "looking at porn" and I'd be inclined to ask you to bring that matter here again so we can share in the effort and support you in sorting it out more. Best wishes and don't let yourself suffer over it.

[Wolfpack]

If you only watch porn for short periods a day then I do not think you have anything to worry about.I do not think you have to worry about being 'pure' for another guy, a lot of men watch porn, and I think you come across as a caring guy so any man will be lucky to be with you.

The danger of porn is if you start watching it for hours at time more and more.So some things to think about.
Short term benefits of porn- exiting,pleasurable,allows to switch off from real life, feeds and develops fantasy life.
Negative consequences - takes up more and more time, stops you doing other things, less and less rewarding more you do, makes you tired and feel guilty, need to look at more and more hard core stuff to get a 'high', makes you feel cheap.