How to overcome watching porn?

[Wolfpack]

Ways you may be be able to beat watching porn.
Get out of there NOW - leave the Internet or website
Surf the urge - do not battle the feelings accept them, you do not need to act on them they are just feelings and they will pass.
Distract yourself - find a another way to pleasure yourself use your imagination instead, think about the kind of guy you want to meet and what you will do together.
Do something to absorb your resources like phone a friend, take a bath, do a puzzle, go for a run any kind of alternative pass time.
Refocus your motivation - remind yourself of the short term and long term effects of watching porn.
Good luck

[Tyrion]

I was going to make a joke and say "watch more porn", but that isn't really helpful.

Really, the only way you can stop looking at it, if you're really having that hard of a time, is to basically reprogram your thought process. The moment you're thinking of porn, mentally take note and consciously change your thoughts. If you're on the computer, walk away.. leave the house.. do something else. You know when you're about to look it up. Stop yourself. It may take will power, but that's all there really is to it.

I personally don't see the point in abstaining from pornography unless you have a serious problem and it's consuming your every moment, but if it's something that you really want to change, you can do it.

[Chris]

I don't watch porn all the time, maybe up to twenty minutes per day and not every day. Usually one day per week, just recently more often. But it's true that more hard stuff happens, not s&m or brutality but domination/submission and I realize that I may like it and if I meet my future bf I won't be able to have romantic, slow sex I was wondering to allow myself to watch porn, maybe I oppose it too strongly but on the other hand I would be afraid to totally get addicted of it... I'll try some of your advice. I hope I'll get rid of it one day

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Or you can do it the biblical way:

Matthew 5:29-30

King James Version (KJV)

29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

[CellarDweller]

I'll watch it from time to time, but like others have said, it's so fake. It starts to do nothing for me.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

The fallacy here is that once you do BDSM that that is all you can do. Most (not all) BDSM couples even the ones who do RACK often have vanilla sex - aka Making love.

Besides which, what is not shown in those movies is the huge amounts of communication that takes place before scene and the aftercare that must take place.

Aftercare: https://www.google.com/#q=BDSM+aftercare

So the problem here is you have this misunderstanding about what BDSM is about and how sex actually works.

Yes doing scene is fun, but few people who are in a relationship always do just scene. If they did it would get as boring as martial missionary style sex all the time (making love).

Besides which, you are knocking something before you even try it. I bet yo hate broccoli true, but refuse to try it.

I don't watch porn all the time, maybe up to twenty minutes per day and not every day. Usually one day per week, just recently more often. But it's true that more hard stuff happens, not s&m or brutality but domination/submission and I realize that I may like it and if I meet my future bf I won't be able to have romantic, slow sex I was wondering to allow myself to watch porn, maybe I oppose it too strongly but on the other hand I would be afraid to totally get addicted of it... I'll try some of your advice. I hope I'll get rid of it one day

[Chris]

I've never watched BDSM movies and I don't want to try. I emphasized in the beginning that I don't want anyone in this topic to encourage me to watch porn, not mentioning bdsm.

And this kind of thinking that one has to try everything leads nowhere. Then every gay should try sex with woman. I don't have to know that I don't like it...

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Well I didn't actually suggest watching BDSM porn now did I?

I did however try to encourage you to do a bit more research (ergo the links) on the subject because you already have a few skewed ideas about what BDSM is about. Not porn research, but real research.

I already hinted what I think about BDSM porn.

Besides which, what is not shown in those movies is the huge amounts of communication that takes place before scene and the aftercare that must take place.

So let me take that a bit further.

I would not advocate watching porn to learn about real BDSM situations. I wouldn't advocate it for just Dom/sub situations either because that sort of porn is boring and just does not exist. Because there is a lot about such situations that porn just does not cover. Such as the communication, such as after care....

Porn is fantasy, and in the BDSM/Leather porn its often wild and showing things that most people in BDSM only dreams about would never actually do.

"....but domination/submission and I realize that I may like it and if I meet my future bf I won't be able to have romantic, slow sex"

The fallacy here is that you feel that this can't be romantic. It actually can be, and because you do scene occasionally or like scene doesn't mean that you must do scene all the time.

I have been with partners who have a taste for a little leather. Just because we did scene (BDSM type sex) doesn't mean we had to do it all the time. There was plenty of real love making. And this is typical of most BDSM relationships. Few are actually 24/7 in scene relationships, most have BDSM added in moderation with a lot of real love and romance.

Another link for you to READ: https://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/in...036AAREdHg

Others spouting off that yes romance can (and often does) take place in BDSM type relationships.

There are way too many myths out there about what a BDSM relationship is about - predominately because of the porn industry catering to a fantasy take on what BDSM is about.

A lot of it is not about violence, submission and domination does not have to include ropes, whips and leather... A lot of it is a state of mind not an act of sex.

BDSM is the acronym for bondage, dominance, sadism and masochism. It doesn't mean that one has to do all of that to be in that sort of relationship.

No one has to be beaten, whipped, tied down to be in a Dom/sub relationship. There doesn't have to be a need for a collar and leash. Or calling your man 'Master/Sir/Daddy' etc.

Ask the Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM its a long read but hopefully you will see that your personal take on the way it works isn't altogether what really happens or what must happen.

So you want to be in a Dom/sub sort of relationship - that is perfectly ok and can be rewarding and very romantic - it all depends on how you and your partner identify these roles and what you two decide to apply to make those roles more fulfilling.

Porn is a bad teacher when it comes to real BDSM. Dom/sub relationships are not all about sex either. While sex does play a role its not the end goal. Just like sex is not the end goal of a strictly vanilla relationship.

Kink is not a problem if both parties agree to it. To reach that agreement there is a lot of discussion, there are even contracts drawn up. It can take several meetings and deep serious conversation before the couple engages in such. Due to that serious conversation and all parties involved having to open and discuss their deepest desires, most BDSM relationships are a bit more rewarding and closer than vanilla relationships where both parties pretty much never talk about what it is they are going to do and the roles are pretty much based on assumptions about what is expected instead of the couple actually expressing what it is they expect.

Most BDSM couples also discuss other things - favorite colors, what they expect when out of scene (while not having sex) and other stuff. All because they have been in such deep conversation about a subject that most people rarely really talk about.

[HumbleTangerine]

I don't watch porn all the time, maybe up to twenty minutes per day and not every day. Usually one day per week, just recently more often. But it's true that more hard stuff happens, not s&m or brutality but domination/submission and I realize that I may like it and if I meet my future bf I won't be able to have romantic, slow sex I was wondering to allow myself to watch porn, maybe I oppose it too strongly but on the other hand I would be afraid to totally get addicted of it... I'll try some of your advice. I hope I'll get rid of it one day

Oh that's completely false. I'm turned on by BDSM but I'm still capable of "slow, romantic" sex. You have nothing to worry about in that department

[Chris]

I bet you began enjoying bdsm after watching porn so it didn't come naturally, at least with me, I didn't have appetite for domination/submission before so that's why I realized it's not the part of me. You also refer to wikipedia so it's not yours. It's something that you was taught (like this aftercare). I think it's more like a habit, addiction then a real need...