Hi All, Sorry to butt in but I'm new and need advice....

[Bowyn Aerrow]

People are much denser than you seem to understand. What may be an obviosity to you (lack of GF = Gay) doesn't really seem to work out that way in most people's head. Especially heteros who are 'gay-blind' they are so bound to the hetero"norm" lifestyle they assume everyone is straight until proven otherwise.

Texting - bad idea in my books. but then I understand that most communication takes place silently, facial expressions, body language.

I guess text him 'I want to thank you for this job opportunity, can I treat you to lunch?' will suffice...

He might be in the closet at work, that doesn't mean he isn't out of the closet everywhere else. And judging by what you said he said he isn't that far in the closet at work. If he is he isn't doing that great of a job of staying there.

Again, good luck.

[CellarDweller]

Firstly just an update: Computer guy rang me today out of the blue asking me to recommend someone in my line of work to do some website work for them!!! Not extremly chatty but about 5 mins.


I am fully committed to moving this on, but the question I have is How do I move it away from a Salesman/Customer situation to a more personal request....

Did you recommend someone to him for the website work? If so, call back and ask if they met yet and how it went.

Then tell him you'd like to thank him for all the help he gave you, can you take him out for coffee?

[MacGuy]

Ok, that sounds good... Moves will be made tomorrow!!! Time to see what this guys plan is.... I'll update after that!!!

[Cuddly]

Good luck MacGuy.

I came out AFTER having met my husbear, whom I've now lived with for 5 years and been seeing exclussively since I was 18. I am now 25.

If you're semi-obviously gay, the computer guy couldn't possibly out you. Right?
I would recommend anybody who doesn't live in a gayhostile environment to take the leap of faith and come out. It's such a relief!! It's literally a monumental weight taken off your chest. Atleast it was for me and I am confident the others will agree.
Now coming out to new friends is just a fun opportunity to show the world that gays exist and we're just as normal and fucked-up at the same time as everybody else.

[gaycraig]

This sure does show he is interested in you and I think you should just phone him up and ask him if he fancies a date sometime. What is the worse he can say on the phone? Give it a shot it could be something special. I am not out to most but I might if I get a boyfriend, it must be a great experience loving a man x

[Brett240]

He's interested. And you need to be the one to make the next move. I mean, he pretty much put himself out there already. Call him, mention that you really like the computer, ask if you can buy his a coffee and chat a bit more. Just casual. When you see him, try to make plans to do something else - lunch is good. Just keep it low key and I have a feeling it will go well.

[Mark]

I guess I missed the initial boat of giving out advice but I agree with the above he does sound interested but again guys confuse me because they are complicated haha.

Now I need to know what happened next! Its like a soap opera unravelling :O

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Dying to know what is happening....

[MacGuy]

Hi all, just to let you know... Phoned today, "to ask about website guy" and the phone was switched off!!! We continue to wait... If he rings back, is there any other questions I should ask??

[princealbertofb]

You know, you could just make a remark about how well you seem to be getting on... "I enjoy talking to you. You're so easy to talk to. Are you like this with all your customers?" " (answer from him) "Hey, how about we get a drink somewhere and talk about other things than work related, would you like that? Can you recommend a place? Where shall we meet? Can I meet up with you at the store after work?" (or you, yourself, already have a place in mind, in which case you suggest that. But it sounds as if he might be more knowledgeable in that area, since he's genuinely friendly and probably enjoys going out with friends).

Ah, one more thing, if you're worried about this being a one on one encounter for your first non-business-oriented date, you can always suggest he bring a friend or two, that way you widen your circle of friends, and said friend-s get-s to give you the look over, haha. Have you got a friend you would also bring to the party? People who come with friends give it a sense of casualty and friends can provide relief conversation. But if you don't see the need for others to be around, then go for the single date.