Why Do People Give The Silent Treatment?

[Pix]

In some cases you try to explain you're not interested and instead of moving on they see it as negotiation time (or worse, demand an explanation). No thank you.

Even worse, they take it as an insult and become hostile, even violent. Even if they don't they can look completely wounded.

Why the silent treatment? Because there are too many emotional babies out there who don't believe no means no and will blow up (or implode) if you say outright you're not interested.

[SilentFilm1988]

Silent treatment leaves you wondering what is really going on - that's why I don't understand people who use it. It's not an option for me and I don't think it's polite way to show to someone that you are not interested.

Thank you! Couldn't have said it better myself.

[SilentFilm1988]

Oh, you really struck a chord with this one. I HATE the silent treatment. I just broke up with a guy who would use it to be controlling - I was supposed to keep saying, Why are you mad, What did I do, Talk to me please and etc. etc. --- screw that!
It is NOT ridiculous to prefer to be told straight out. Like you said, you know where you stand. And I agree that guys who try to weasel out of explaining themselves need to grow a pair.
I used to have a friend who did that and I finally got sick of him and just ignored him. And HE got mad at ME about it.
I feel like it's a power play. Like he's saying, Here I am and I'm way too cool to bother explaining to you - and I'm supposed to be like a puppy, jumping up and down and begging for attention? Like I said - screw that.
Life is too short to worry about idiots!
(Thanks, you provided material for my Rant Of The Day, I can be calm now lol_

Hi Brett, first want to say sorry to hear about your recent breakup. I'm SO glad it's not just me who can't stand the silent treatment. Want to hear a funny story? You'll enjoy this, granted this was like 2 years ago.

It was a guy I was talking to online, we exchanged numbers and had planned to meet. He was a nice looking guy and conversations were good. But then he just stopped talking to me, I'd try texting him, called, nothing, nothing at all. So I figured he just lost interest. I found out that another guy I knew who I met months before and didn't like, said something about me to him behind my back. What was exactly said I don't know, but it makes you think what's worse? The trash talker or the guy who believed the trash talk? I mean I'm over that now, my friends say the guy obviously wasn't worth meeting if he'd believe someone else over you, but still that one hurt a little bit.

[gilhooly]

I am a librarian by nature and by pension. I have always loved silence. Often friends and lovers accused me of giving them the silent treatment. I am always surprised that people were talking to me. I like to zone out and do research in my head until I find an answer.

I apologize for being rude. BUT I have been accused so many times, silence is part of my nature. Fortunately, people who knew me were aware that I was not ignoring them. People who sort of know me often say I'm rude. I am not trying to be.

Don't assume the worse. Give others a break. You will become forgetful, too, as you grow older

[Melody]

I do this when I'm mad I will give the silent treatment and for me it's all about messing with the person 's head you want to make them just as upset if not more just as you are .
I've been trying to stop because it gets nothing solved and you just end up with two mad people so it's better to talk things out . but people do it to mess with people it's a good way of getting back at a person .

[marshlander]

... but people do it to mess with people it's a good way of getting back at a person .

When I was on the receiving end of the silent treatment (and it happened a lot in a previous relationship) it always felt like an act of aggression. It was a means for the other person to exercise control. I sometimes wonder if my silences are received like that, when all I need is some head space. Maybe I have it all mixed up.

As for silence after some prospective dating activity, I think that is probably just the path of least resistance, although leaving another person hanging really seems like bad manners.

[CellarDweller]

As for silence after some prospective dating activity, I think that is probably just the path of least resistance, although leaving another person hanging really seems like bad manners.

I agree. If you don't want to date me, man up and tell me.

[Tyrion]

I fucking hate the silent treatment. Growing up, my mom would do that to me for literally days and drive me crazy. As far as I'm concerned, say what the problem is and work it out. The silent treatment is ridiculous and useless and I hate it. Lol.

[BabyPolarBear]

When my mother gives me the silent treatment she thinks is a punishment but really it a reward

[Pix]

Seems two different silent treatments are being talked about. One being from someone who is politely trying to show lack of interest (or at least not wanting to make a big production of rejecting someone coming onto them) and the other someone you know very well refusing to speak at all, a type of malicious shunning. Those are two different things.