Wanting to date another guy younger then me

[Fides]

Wow... I understand that it's illegal to date a minor, but I must admit I wasn't expecting the posts I read.

I'm sorry but I was definitely NOT the kind of teenager you described in detail in your posts. All teenagers do not think the same way and do not go "blank" in a conversation with an adult.
He's talking about an attraction, and a burning desire, but he's not acting on it. He also came here to seek support and guidance, and all I read is that it's creepy or teenagers are superficial. Do you like it when people say that gays are flamboyant fashonistas incapable of sustaining a relationship and spend their time exchanging STDs ?

We are all different and unique, straight or gay, american or asian, old or young, and we do NOT fall in default boxes/stereotypes.

Now, about you, original poster, no need for me to go over the legal and parental trouble if you date a teenager, you already have a clear idea. But I think the first step is asking yourself what is it exactly that drives that desire. Is it the youthful body ? Is it the illusion of innocence ? Is it a specific behavior ?
Define it and then, ask yourself the second question : Does this desire exceeds the one I have to maintain the relationship I have ?
There's no point in blaming yourself if the answer is yes. There's nothing wrong with it, as long as you don't lead your current boyfriend on. Be honest with him, talk about it, see if he can do something about it (if you want him to try something for you) and if needed, break up.
Break-ups might look/feel really bad at first, but you'll both be grateful that it happened later, because it allows both of you to find your happiness elsewhere and not waste each other's time.
When it comes to your attraction, try to find what you like in 18+ guys (If it's the youthful body, there are many many guys who have the appearance of a teenager (even at 28, like a friend of mine). If a way of thinking, a behavior, I'm sure you'll find someone that suits your desire.

[HaZe]

Wow... I understand that it's illegal to date a minor, but I must admit I wasn't expecting the posts I read.

I personally don't think the age difference is appropriate.... BUT, where I live 16-25 [B]is[/B] a legal range to date. Not sure if this is the case where the poster lives, but figured I'd share that knowledge.

[GabaTheGreat]

Wow... I understand that it's illegal to date a minor, but I must admit I wasn't expecting the posts I read.

I'm sorry but I was definitely NOT the kind of teenager you described in detail in your posts. All teenagers do not think the same way and do not go "blank" in a conversation with an adult.
He's talking about an attraction, and a burning desire, but he's not acting on it. He also came here to seek support and guidance, and all I read is that it's creepy or teenagers are superficial. Do you like it when people say that gays are flamboyant fashonistas incapable of sustaining a relationship and spend their time exchanging STDs ?

We are all different and unique, straight or gay, american or asian, old or young, and we do NOT fall in default boxes/stereotypes.

Now, about you, original poster, no need for me to go over the legal and parental trouble if you date a teenager, you already have a clear idea. But I think the first step is asking yourself what is it exactly that drives that desire. Is it the youthful body ? Is it the illusion of innocence ? Is it a specific behavior ?
Define it and then, ask yourself the second question : Does this desire exceeds the one I have to maintain the relationship I have ?
There's no point in blaming yourself if the answer is yes. There's nothing wrong with it, as long as you don't lead your current boyfriend on. Be honest with him, talk about it, see if he can do something about it (if you want him to try something for you) and if needed, break up.
Break-ups might look/feel really bad at first, but you'll both be grateful that it happened later, because it allows both of you to find your happiness elsewhere and not waste each other's time.
When it comes to your attraction, try to find what you like in 18+ guys (If it's the youthful body, there are many many guys who have the appearance of a teenager (even at 28, like a friend of mine). If a way of thinking, a behavior, I'm sure you'll find someone that suits your desire.

I agree with you that we should all have a chance to be ourselves. However how many 15 year olds are mature enough for this type of relationship? I could barely feel comfortable with a guy 6 years older than me let alone one that might as well be my uncle.

At 25 years of age you should already pretty well know that not all things are meant to be. I learned that the hard way.

And why the hell do you want a teenager? I just see so many first world problems and shit. No offense to any teenagers here. Even getting someone my age you still get someone who has generally worked past all that drama.

Dating boys <<<<< Dating Men

[Mark]

Im confused.. Is it a lad that is 16 or is it any 16 year old :S Either way throwing away a relationship should never be the easy option but without more info I struggle to understand the situation :p

[Pixiebells]

I'd figure one thing out -are you intriuged about the concept of dating someone younger emotionally, is it a fantasy sleep with or are you unhappy with your current relationship & if you find someone new you'd prefer them to be younger? And to allay some concerns people from the States (like me) might have, tbe age of consent in England is 16 so in other words, what he's looking for would be legal.

Also nothing wrong with preferring younger guys in general ; my husband is 5 years younger than me & I love it. I've always been creeped out by older men-I'm a woman which changes some of that but still people like what they like.

[Pixiebells]

And why the hell do you want a teenager? I just see so many first world problems and shit. No offense to any teenagers here. Even getting someone my age you still get someone who has generally worked past all that drama.

Dating boys <<<<< Dating Men

The last guy I dated had just turned 19 & I'd recently turned 24 back in the start of 2009.

We've been happily married for three years this July.

He's been 100% there for me & responsible in the face of many issues: family drama, unplanned pregnancy & a miscarriage--and that was just the first six months.

Bottom line: Age isn't the real issue. It's emotional maturity.

[swalter]

Legality aside, there's a huge difference between 16 and 25, in terms of emotional development. I seriously question the motives of a 25yo who has such designs on a young boy. Pedophilia is unacceptable, and given how we, as a community are constantly fighting against the comparison with those monsters, I'm shocked that so many people here are so accepting and blasé about it.

OP, this is a forum for adults to discuss homosexuality and be part of a community. If you have these deviant, predatory urges, you should seek professional help before you act on them and ruin the life of some child. Pedophilia is not a variation of homosexuality, and even if some members here think it's OK, I have no problem calling it what it is: disgusting, deplorable, and unacceptable.

[Ryocchi]

Good Lord, Why would you want to do that? I wouldn't romantically & metaphorically touch someone younger than 24 (22 is he seems really great dude) with stick, that's an emotional ride I don't want to get into.
(No offense young lads I talk from my own experience.)

[Tulloni]

16 is the age of consent in the UK. So it would be legal. I am not sure if it would be a good thing to go out with a 16 year old. Some teenagers can be grown up but some can be immature - you don't know what you'll get. if you're not happy with your current guy then I can understand as we've all been there - but even if it doesn't work out between you two would dating a 16 yr old be better? if anything it'll be even more messy and confusing.

If you have to date someone younger, and it won't be easy finding such a person (though I had a date with a 21 year old on Friday so sometimes younger guys might take an interest in us oldies), then I would date someone who is in their early 20s or 18 and above. at 18 they're full adults, though they may still be young and not 100% sure of themselves at that age. You need to just deal with the risks as they come.

[Pixiebells]

I want to add a few things after thinking it over & seeing some really good posts here. Yes, my husband is five years younger than me. BUT we got together when he was 19 & I was 24. If I were 20 & he were 15, that would be wrong. But 9 years is a MUCH bigger difference than five. plus you wouldn't be in the same place emotionally and maturity-wise. It's not exact in every single person, but there is something to be said via developmental psychology.

Now let's get hypothetical- someone made an excellent point that gays are being frequently compared to pedophiles & this perpetuates that stereotype. Yet when we hear about a 45 year old man with a 18 year old woman we agree it's gross and wrong and creepy. If he's rich we label her a gold digger. but do you hear people calling them pedopbes? Not as often as you'd think. My question is-would we be as concerned if he'd admitted interest in an 18 year old? Do we think it's a travesty for an 18 year old to do porn?

Like I said, according to current English law, (correct me if I'm wrong,) 16 is the legal age for sex therefore in that instance they do think a 16 year old is an adult, at least no longer a child in that senese. Whether that's right or wrong isn't up to me.

Besides, it's Europe. Their age is 16 & ours is 18 because they use the metric system . Duh.