05-25-2014, 06:30 AM
I have a problem, and I really don’t know what to think/do about it. I keep getting super mixed but intense gay vibes from this guy at school, as well as the slight sense that he might be into me. The problem is that he’s an incredibly masculine meat-head football jock who is supposedly straight. The other problem is I have doubts about the reliability of my own intuition. PLEASE HELP.
(btw, I’ll be identifying this guy with the alias “ETâ€Â)
Lemme start off by describing myself. First of all, I am a senior in high school and I’ve been out of the closet since freshman year. I’ve always been pretty comfortable with my sexuality, and I’m very open and unapologetic about it. I suppose I would identify myself as somewhat of a twink, and I’m somewhat feminine, however, I’m not like ultra-femme boy, my style and behavior is a little more reserved. I’m small and slim, never really been into sports but I have a pretty nice, toned twink body. As far as my appearance, I don’t really think I’m very attractive :/ My face is fairly handsome when looking at it directly, but my profile makes me look ugly, in my honest opinion. I’m not going to go into detail about my shortcomings, because I don’t wanna anyone to get self conscious of their own, but just know that they exist. I do have my good features though: thick lips, long eye-lashes, pretty eyes, bold eyebrows. To be completely honest though I’d say I have more flaws than not. I guess realistically I’d say I’m average; decent at best. But I don’t fully know because I haven’t had enough guys hit on me to know exactly where I fall on the scale. Yet even though I’m not very attractive and inside I have VERY low self-esteem, I’ve always been really confident--at least that’s the way I present myself. People my age don’t really intimidate me, whether they’re popular or hot or straight guys or whatever. My philosophy is kinda that if I act fierce, with a self-assured conviction and a likeable persona, maybe that’s the way people will see me. And it (kinda) works.
ET is so different from that to anyone else I suppose the prospect of him liking me would seem far-fetched. In many ways he very much like the typical high school football jock. He’s cocky, a bit of a show-off, but he’s also slightly goofy and something feels very mysterious and fake about the way he presents himself. He’s definately very handsome, although I know a lot of girls who don’t find him attractive at all. He’s incredibly muscular, and for the most part very masculine. So here’s why I think he might be gay (or at least bi-curious) and possibly interested in me:
-]I’ve caught him staring at me on multiple occasions. It started as simple stares in class, I’d see him glance over, and when we’d lock eyes, he’d look away. And I won’t lie, I was looking at him too. But then it started happening more often, so often that it became a game for me, I’d tease him as much as I could, and hope I’d catch him looking. I’d purposely go to the bathroom everyday, just so he could watch me walk out in my skinny jeans, things like that. And many times it worked. And they weren’t just looks, they were checking out kinda looks. And then later this year, I was in the school fashion show, and so was he. We had an all-day rehearsal the day of the show, and throughout the day, I caught his looks a couple of times. Then, during the actual show (which was in the gym), after we had done our walk, my partner and I went back to the weightroom where everyone had been changing, and there was no one in there except us. Then all the sudden, ET came in. my partner and I were in the corner facing the back wall, ET was positioned at the wall perpindicular to us, fixing his outfit in the mirror. I decided it was a good oppurtunity to test him, and so I took off my shirt as if I was changing, and I watched him turn his head to check me out (HE WAS NOT LOOKING AT MY PARTNER, who is a girl) As soon as I caught his eye, he looked back at his mirror immediately, and walked out shortly after.
-He’s possessive and touchy with his male friends. In my class there were 3 other football guys and he ALWAYS had to sit with one of them because he “needed help.†One of them is this blonde guy who is slimmer than him and for a jock, he is rather boyish, almost twinky looking. One time they were sitting with their desks pushed together and the blonde guy got up to go to the bathroom, and ET was like “Where are you going?†and he was like “to the bathroom†so ET goes, “Are you coming back?†Gee; needy/possessive much? Another time ET “lost†his keys, so he proceeded to body search the blonde guy, patting him down and accusing him of stealing the keys, despite the fact that his blonde friend clearly didn’t have them. He was literally within inches of patting the guy’s crotch and then he eventually “realized†he had his keys the whole time.
Although he has plenty of friends, I often see him alone (at school I mean). I am Treasurer of the Gay Straight Alliance at my school, and our meetings are held in my stats teacher’s room. Sometimes during meetings I see him go in there, sometimes to get help from our teacher, but other times just to talk with her and hang out.
-He would often say things that had subtle gay innuendo in them. Like this one time, I was sitting with my (female) friend L, and he was asking her about her bf. Like the tool that he acts like, he proceeded to ask her if “they’d done it yet†and then followed it up with (jokingly) “Did it hurt?... ‘Cause it hurt for me.†We both looked at him weird and she asked why and he goes “Oh cuz I was on bottom.†He was obviously joking, but still, what straight guy know’s the terms top and bottom?? And me and L’s desks had been pushed together, ET leaning against hers, with his arm resting inches away from mine, and when he made his joke, he kinda looked at me for my reaction.
-I’ve done my research on how to tell if a guy likes you and how to read a guy’s body language and all that stuff, and he does some of the things they say. For example, my desk is in the front and a couple of times he stood literally inches in front of it to talk to say something (not to me, remember he’s a show-off and an attention-whore) with his body postioned portruding towards me, chest out, crotch directly in front of me, sometimes rubbing his stomach.
-Also my friend told me this story of how her friend (male) was in the bathroom peeing at a urinal and ET walked up to him, put his arm around him, looked down and said “NIce!â€Â
-There are more little things but I don’t want to overwhelm you with details.
My intuition tells me all these things add up, and I’ve done my research and it seems possible, but I just don’t know how much I should trust my intution. Not only am I extremely sexually frustrated, but I’m extremely romantically frustrated (I haven’t even kissed a guy since freshman year and the farthest I’ve gone is like half a handjob lol). I’m also really self-conscious and I’ve barely had any real male attention since my bf freshman year. So basically I just can’t tell if I’m really thinking clearly about my observations or if I’m just looking for signs to overanalyze. There are definately factors that conflict with my theory, including the fact that he had a gf last year, who was this really pretty blonde athletic girl, but they didn’t last long. And he does have a reputation for being a man whore with girls.
My prom was a week ago and there was this big after party that all the seniors were invited to and I planned on making the moves on him that night. My plan was to tease the shit out of him, because as sexy and confident and fierce as I could possibly be. Don’t want to sound arrogant but I’m a pretty good dancer and I go crazy on the dancefloor and I managed to get all eyes on me by the end of the night, I even had my shirt off at the afterparty (I was drunk
) ! but I didn’t really get his attention that much. I mean a little, but not really. I even went up and spoke to him for a moment, and he responded but he wasn’t really paying attention to me and returned to his conversation with this girl. Basically I gave it my all, and he kinda dissapointed me. By the end of the night I had to watch like 3 blonde sluts attack him while I sat by myself like 15 ft. away. Afterwords I was feeling really stupid and discouraged but I talked to my friend about it and she told me that just because he didn’t respond to my hints on prom night doesn’t mean my theory is incorrect, because she reasoned that if he’s closeted, he wouldn’t want to do anything at a public party, and I’d have to be even more aggressive to pursue him.
So now I just don’t know. I need a second opinion. Half of me says I’m right, and the other half says I’m wrong. HELP ME PLEASE BECAUSE THERE MIGHT BE ANOTHER PARTY AND IF THERE IS ANY TRUTH TO THIS I NEED TO DO SOMETHING SOON BECAUSE I’M GRADUATING AND MIGHT NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN.
(btw, I’ll be identifying this guy with the alias “ETâ€Â)
Lemme start off by describing myself. First of all, I am a senior in high school and I’ve been out of the closet since freshman year. I’ve always been pretty comfortable with my sexuality, and I’m very open and unapologetic about it. I suppose I would identify myself as somewhat of a twink, and I’m somewhat feminine, however, I’m not like ultra-femme boy, my style and behavior is a little more reserved. I’m small and slim, never really been into sports but I have a pretty nice, toned twink body. As far as my appearance, I don’t really think I’m very attractive :/ My face is fairly handsome when looking at it directly, but my profile makes me look ugly, in my honest opinion. I’m not going to go into detail about my shortcomings, because I don’t wanna anyone to get self conscious of their own, but just know that they exist. I do have my good features though: thick lips, long eye-lashes, pretty eyes, bold eyebrows. To be completely honest though I’d say I have more flaws than not. I guess realistically I’d say I’m average; decent at best. But I don’t fully know because I haven’t had enough guys hit on me to know exactly where I fall on the scale. Yet even though I’m not very attractive and inside I have VERY low self-esteem, I’ve always been really confident--at least that’s the way I present myself. People my age don’t really intimidate me, whether they’re popular or hot or straight guys or whatever. My philosophy is kinda that if I act fierce, with a self-assured conviction and a likeable persona, maybe that’s the way people will see me. And it (kinda) works.
ET is so different from that to anyone else I suppose the prospect of him liking me would seem far-fetched. In many ways he very much like the typical high school football jock. He’s cocky, a bit of a show-off, but he’s also slightly goofy and something feels very mysterious and fake about the way he presents himself. He’s definately very handsome, although I know a lot of girls who don’t find him attractive at all. He’s incredibly muscular, and for the most part very masculine. So here’s why I think he might be gay (or at least bi-curious) and possibly interested in me:
-]I’ve caught him staring at me on multiple occasions. It started as simple stares in class, I’d see him glance over, and when we’d lock eyes, he’d look away. And I won’t lie, I was looking at him too. But then it started happening more often, so often that it became a game for me, I’d tease him as much as I could, and hope I’d catch him looking. I’d purposely go to the bathroom everyday, just so he could watch me walk out in my skinny jeans, things like that. And many times it worked. And they weren’t just looks, they were checking out kinda looks. And then later this year, I was in the school fashion show, and so was he. We had an all-day rehearsal the day of the show, and throughout the day, I caught his looks a couple of times. Then, during the actual show (which was in the gym), after we had done our walk, my partner and I went back to the weightroom where everyone had been changing, and there was no one in there except us. Then all the sudden, ET came in. my partner and I were in the corner facing the back wall, ET was positioned at the wall perpindicular to us, fixing his outfit in the mirror. I decided it was a good oppurtunity to test him, and so I took off my shirt as if I was changing, and I watched him turn his head to check me out (HE WAS NOT LOOKING AT MY PARTNER, who is a girl) As soon as I caught his eye, he looked back at his mirror immediately, and walked out shortly after.
-He’s possessive and touchy with his male friends. In my class there were 3 other football guys and he ALWAYS had to sit with one of them because he “needed help.†One of them is this blonde guy who is slimmer than him and for a jock, he is rather boyish, almost twinky looking. One time they were sitting with their desks pushed together and the blonde guy got up to go to the bathroom, and ET was like “Where are you going?†and he was like “to the bathroom†so ET goes, “Are you coming back?†Gee; needy/possessive much? Another time ET “lost†his keys, so he proceeded to body search the blonde guy, patting him down and accusing him of stealing the keys, despite the fact that his blonde friend clearly didn’t have them. He was literally within inches of patting the guy’s crotch and then he eventually “realized†he had his keys the whole time.
Although he has plenty of friends, I often see him alone (at school I mean). I am Treasurer of the Gay Straight Alliance at my school, and our meetings are held in my stats teacher’s room. Sometimes during meetings I see him go in there, sometimes to get help from our teacher, but other times just to talk with her and hang out.
-He would often say things that had subtle gay innuendo in them. Like this one time, I was sitting with my (female) friend L, and he was asking her about her bf. Like the tool that he acts like, he proceeded to ask her if “they’d done it yet†and then followed it up with (jokingly) “Did it hurt?... ‘Cause it hurt for me.†We both looked at him weird and she asked why and he goes “Oh cuz I was on bottom.†He was obviously joking, but still, what straight guy know’s the terms top and bottom?? And me and L’s desks had been pushed together, ET leaning against hers, with his arm resting inches away from mine, and when he made his joke, he kinda looked at me for my reaction.
-I’ve done my research on how to tell if a guy likes you and how to read a guy’s body language and all that stuff, and he does some of the things they say. For example, my desk is in the front and a couple of times he stood literally inches in front of it to talk to say something (not to me, remember he’s a show-off and an attention-whore) with his body postioned portruding towards me, chest out, crotch directly in front of me, sometimes rubbing his stomach.
-Also my friend told me this story of how her friend (male) was in the bathroom peeing at a urinal and ET walked up to him, put his arm around him, looked down and said “NIce!â€Â
-There are more little things but I don’t want to overwhelm you with details.
My intuition tells me all these things add up, and I’ve done my research and it seems possible, but I just don’t know how much I should trust my intution. Not only am I extremely sexually frustrated, but I’m extremely romantically frustrated (I haven’t even kissed a guy since freshman year and the farthest I’ve gone is like half a handjob lol). I’m also really self-conscious and I’ve barely had any real male attention since my bf freshman year. So basically I just can’t tell if I’m really thinking clearly about my observations or if I’m just looking for signs to overanalyze. There are definately factors that conflict with my theory, including the fact that he had a gf last year, who was this really pretty blonde athletic girl, but they didn’t last long. And he does have a reputation for being a man whore with girls.
My prom was a week ago and there was this big after party that all the seniors were invited to and I planned on making the moves on him that night. My plan was to tease the shit out of him, because as sexy and confident and fierce as I could possibly be. Don’t want to sound arrogant but I’m a pretty good dancer and I go crazy on the dancefloor and I managed to get all eyes on me by the end of the night, I even had my shirt off at the afterparty (I was drunk
) ! but I didn’t really get his attention that much. I mean a little, but not really. I even went up and spoke to him for a moment, and he responded but he wasn’t really paying attention to me and returned to his conversation with this girl. Basically I gave it my all, and he kinda dissapointed me. By the end of the night I had to watch like 3 blonde sluts attack him while I sat by myself like 15 ft. away. Afterwords I was feeling really stupid and discouraged but I talked to my friend about it and she told me that just because he didn’t respond to my hints on prom night doesn’t mean my theory is incorrect, because she reasoned that if he’s closeted, he wouldn’t want to do anything at a public party, and I’d have to be even more aggressive to pursue him.So now I just don’t know. I need a second opinion. Half of me says I’m right, and the other half says I’m wrong. HELP ME PLEASE BECAUSE THERE MIGHT BE ANOTHER PARTY AND IF THERE IS ANY TRUTH TO THIS I NEED TO DO SOMETHING SOON BECAUSE I’M GRADUATING AND MIGHT NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN.
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