People

[Bluelight]

Why are friendships so weak? I'm not just talking about relationships or dating here, I mean like people who I consider(ed) to be my friends. Why are people so shamelessly flaky? Like they'll ignore you and just pretend that they didn't when they see you face to face. Is there something I'm missing? Is there some kind of strange nuance to socializing that I never learned? Am I just not interesting enough? I'm just baffled, I'm at a complete loss for anything that can help me understand why people are like this. I refuse to accept that this is my fault, I've blamed myself for so much in the past, things that I realized were never my doing. That killed my confidence, and it wasn't until recently that I started getting it back.

I just don't understand what's wrong; I don't try too hard, yet I try. I let people know that I value their friendship, but I respect their space, I'm not an annoying, persistent person. I don't chase after people, and I'm not clingy. No one can tell me that this is my fault, as I said I refuse to accept that. Remember, you don't know me, nor do you know the circumstances of my life, so I'm gonna ask you to accept this all on faith and not make assumptions, I hate it when people assume they know everything. I just can't seem to find an answer... what the hell is wrong with people? Who's for real? Honestly...

[East]

I guess it all depends on how we each define friendship....

I am ridiculously friendly with most people in my day to day life and I keep it real when I am with them...but I also believe that I should "be here now" so I am usually 100% present at any given moment but I also know that our paths may never cross again.
I also think some friends are meant to be there for a short time...some last a lifetime.....

...and there are different levels of friendship.

If it is 4 AM and you need to call someone to come and help you...how many people can you call? Those are the best...and often the most difficult... friendships IMO

[jogu656]

Been there plenty of times, i learned to just cut people off, Had a few friends i thought were like sisters to me then i realized they were acting as if they were doing me a favor by being my friends, LOL so without letting them know i just faded away from them, from time to time they reach out but i forward calls & delete text those type of people arent even worth talking things out with, the thing that hurts them (I know because ive been told by mutual friends) is that they dont know what "they did wrong" so i know exactly how you feel. I ask myself those questions from time to time too

[Uneunsae]

I'm a loner, but I have a couple of close friends. From my experience and observation of others, most people are really flaky. Their "friendships" are more what I consider "acquaintances" but they are all fine with it, so I guess it's okay. Personally, I greatly dislike pretentious relationships, but I feel I am in the minority. However, since I am a loner, it works out for me. It seems like many people need constant socialization.

I think it comes down to personality, what one wants from others, what they're willing to give to others, and so many other factors. I like close relationships and want to spend time around people I would consider as family.

[VidasParalelas]

If all of your relationships have similar or identical qualities you might want to remind yourself that the common denominator in each one is you. So you may want to consider you either draw a particular type of person to you or you enable people to treat you in a way you don't like. In either case, a change in you might be the answer for improving these situations.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Because modern society teaches that everyone is our friend, we have forgotten that the real way this works out is you get 1-4 friends and everyone else is merely an acquaintance.

[KingOfChaos]

Other than my BF, there are probably only 3 people that I consider true friends. One of them is a long time co-worker and the other two I've known since I was 7 years old.
The word friend is used very loosely. I've had people I've pretty much just met introduce me to someone as, "My friend, Alex...".
I think we have to define friendship for ourselves, and not rely on the casual concept that most people embrace. Frankly, I'm always a little wary of people who seem to want to become my "new best friend" on very short acquaintance.

[Bluelight]

Because modern society teaches that everyone is our friend, we have forgotten that the real way this works out is you get 1-4 friends and everyone else is merely an acquaintance.

So true, social networking has created a whole new level of "friendship", a diluted "safe" step added to the process of getting to know people so that we don't have to invest as much time in each other.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Because modern society teaches that everyone is our friend, we have forgotten that the real way this works out is you get 1-4 friends and everyone else is merely an acquaintance.

Exactly right. I was fortunate enough that I was taught this as a child. There are all different kinds of acquaintances. "Close Acquaintance", "Good Acquaintance", etc. But friends are something bigger. Deeper. Truer. And much harder to find.

[CarGuy65]

I have 4 people I would consider close friends. The rest of my "friends" seem to only contact me when they need something from me.